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Personal Information

Superpowers

Favorite Quotes

Favorite Quotes

REX VISIGOTHIS:"I believe in less than enough feed, just enough speed, more than enough weed, and way too much pussy"

BERNARD EIBER: "You write like a god"

KATHY SISSON: "You fuck like a god"

SUZANNE FARRELL: "Someone had to be eliminated, and poor Roger was the most expendable"

VANESSA FARRELL: "You have such a pretty dick"

MY SISTER: "He wasn't always like this...you should have seen him before all the acid.  My God, he's a Woodrow Wilson Fellow!"

MY MOTHER: "So I told his father, 'Look Manny, let's don't kid ourselves.  All he really wants to do is get high and get laid..."

 

Biography

Jollyroger admits that he did work his way through stripper school as a lawyer, but since graduating he has rehabilitated himself, and profits no longer from the misfortune of his brothers, but from the lust of his sisters instead. He is currently on the 60 day DL (too fat); Until he is called back up to the show, he is temping as an inventor.

History

Member for
6 years 7 months

Blog Posts

jollyroger's picture

Did young Barack Obama play with toy soldiers?

 

 

I ask because his tortured relationship with his Defense Secretaries is destined to become the topic of more than one PhD dissertation in coming years.

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Christmas in Calcutta, 10021

 

 

"Any help you could give us, or any food, we would really appreciate".

 

Accompanied by two beautiful girls of grade school age, a father was addressing the passengers on the Lexington Avenue Express as it made its way from 59th Street (Bloomingdale's) to 86th St. (Gracie M ansion). By my relatively crude reckoning, we were just then under the streets of the zip code 10021, which for your information is the wealthiest in the country.

 

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Her behavior is riling a lot of people up!

After your jaw has returned to function following your review of this beyond merely entertaining segment on what I will without irony call "quarantinegate". you will want to turn your attention to some of the other ripples caused by that the latest wedge issue: "Should Kaci be quarantined?"

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Never missing an opportunity to miss an opportunity...

With apologies to the scumbag who delights in applying this formula to the Palestinian Authority in the context of peace negotiations, let us turn our attention to the sad sack who occupies the White House.

 

Consider the field of play as Ebola fever (the panic kind, not the body temp) began gripping the public imagination.

 

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Behead sorcerers? Sure. But not pot smugglers!

 

 

With all the spillover umbrage at beheading available, I thought I'd capitalize on it and mobilize some hostility towards Saudi Arabia.

 

Granted, when they do their beheadings, they give the head and body a decent interval hanging side by side in which to say goodbye.

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Congress: Urgently needing a vacation...legislating is such hard work

In the ongoing concatenation of news causing one's face to make an almost permanent acquaintance with one's palm, surely the brutal work schedule of our 538 Washington DC employees (aka Congress) ranks high on the list.

 

After wisely exiting DC throughout the dog days of August (the invention of air conditioning notwithstanding...) these schtarkers have exhausted themselves with two back to back 4 day work weeks.

 

ENOUGH!  We're outta here.

 

It's true, congress has gone back on vacation until mid November.

 

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Death to hostages, mercy for oil wells!

After 160+ air sorties against ISIS positions, we are able to deduce at least one guiding principal of American policy.

 

While we "sit shiva" for hostages, and refuse to negotiate for their release, ostensibly to prevent the ongoing funding of the terrorist enterprise, when it comes to bombing oil wells (let alone the trucks that carry the fruits thereof across the Turkish border) we stay our hand.

 

WTF??

 

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No jury would convict.

If ever there were a profound argument in favor of the principal that jurors ought properly to exercise their independent discretion to nullify a criminal charge, this would be it.

In a truly stomach turning codicil to the James Foley saga, we learn that his family members were the recipients of explicit threats that payment of the ransom to save his life would make them criminally liable.

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Losing our heads (Here, in Iraq, and in Saudi Arabia)

It took only the deaths of two American reporters to send our government (particularly in the person of the President) scrambling to cobble together a manifestation of bellicosity.

Oddly, the prior deaths by way of bullet, bomb, or building collapse of far more American reporters more or less at the hands of the same cast of characters produced only weasel words, a dance around the subject, and gauzy  platitudes.

The difference, of course, lay in high production values.

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Chokehold Cop-Felony Murderer? Cops standing by as well?

Among the quaint vestiges of medieval criminal law that persist in modern jurisprudence, is the doctrine of "Felony Murder"

 

It creates liability for murder whenever a death occurs in the course of the commission of an unlawful act (curiously, even when the deceased is an accomplice of the charged individual)

 

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