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    An Update on the Book Formerly Known as How Bill O'Reilly Saved Christmas

    In response to the relentless demands of millions of adoring readers, I've decided that it's time to break my media silence about the status of the book.

    After an eight-month effort that has been simultaneously grueling and exhilarating, the book is nearly finished. I completed the manuscript at the end of June and have been racing through the revisions since then. In a few weeks, it will be all over but the rhapsodic reviews. The book is still on schedule to come out in mid-October.

    For those who are curious about the process, I have been working closely with my editor, Bob Pigeon of Da Capo Press, on the major revisions. Bob acquired the book last November, and he has been an enthusiastic supporter and an outstanding guide ever since. In this last stage, the primary responsibility switches over to another kind of editor, known as a project or production editor. My project editor, Christine Marra, is responsible for the detailed line edits and preparing the book for print. We'll finish up the line edits in about a week, and then she and her staff will do the layout. I'll approve the proofs in early August, and then the book goes to the printer.

    As you may have gathered from the title of the post, the book's title has changed. The salespeople were concerned that the word "Christmas" in the title would lead confused book store managers to return the books after December 25th. The new title--a joint effort by Bob and his team, the sales and marketing groups, and me--is Blowing Smoke: Why the Right Keeps Serving Up Whack-Job Fantasies about the Plot to Euthanize Grandma, Outlaw Christmas, and Turn Junior into a Raging Homosexual. The new cover art is not yet completed. I'll post it to the book's Facebook fan page when it's done. (Facebook does not appear to allow you to change the name of a fan page. This sucks.)

    It's time for me to plunge back into the final stage. Thanks to everyone for your support and warm wishes. I'll follow up again with the book is finished.


    Great news!

    Hey, I'd buy it, even at the vastly inflated Canadian price (the dollars are almost at par, you know).

    The new title's fine, but it loses the tongue-in-cheekiness of the original. I'd make it Blowing Smoke: The Right's Heroic Stand Against the Plot, etc. Sales would increase marginally because of purchases by snark-challenged right-wing whack jobs.

    See, I suggested, "Whack Jobs: Right-Wing Nutbars & Their Fantasies about Axing Grandma, Outlawing Christmas, and Dressing Junior Up Like a Raging Homo."

    I think that'd draw readers in like Canada Geese through a Jet Engine.

    Next time, I'll be sure to consult you before setting the title. BTW, the powers that be recently euthanized the entire Canadian goose population of Brooklyn's Prospect Park to avoid the whole jet engine thing. How long will it be before they start euthanizing all Canadians?

    I would have liked a bit more tonguecheekfulness, but I think that there was concern that casual browsers would miss the snark. Having seen even the wise Acanuck miss obvious snark, I can see their point.

    I'll take that as snark.

    I think free copies will be in order. For Quinn, too, though the poor kid can't read (I smell a second book!)

    Yes, there is a special graphic nonfiction book planned just for Quinn. It will be called Whack Jobs: Macho Men of the Right, featuring full page nude spreads of everyone's favorite Fox News stars.

    If Glenn Beck wears pasties, I'll totally buy it.

    See? Now that's just plain BETTER. Your problem Genghis (well, AMONGST your problems...) is that you're too educated. Too intellectual. So consider this your wake-up call ---


    Got it? Which means, you can think alllllll you like while WRITING the book. Be as smart as you like. But when it comes time to SELL it, you gotta be crass. Punch 'em in the nuts. Insult people. Start a fire. Blow smoke. Hell, set yourself on fire, if it helps.

    CRASS. We all know you got it in you.

    So when it comes time to promote your book, what are you going for again?

    Right. The nut-punch.And all the children say....


    Quinn is absolutely right about this.

    That is why I have retitled my forthcoming scholarly monograph Kiss My Buttcheeks, You Monkeys! How Iambic Pentameter Undermines Our Values and Destroys the Middle Class.


    Pretty sure Butt Cheeks is two words.

    Better ask Genghis though - we're stepping into his territory.

    Badabing Smiley-Face!

    And capitalized when refering to someone named Butt Cheeks. Like Brett "Butt Cheeks" Favre.

    Cleveland is correct. Don't mess with the literature scholar.

    Incidentally, as I was confirming the spelling, wikipedia surprised me with photos of male and female buttocks. Of course, I immediately wiki'd penis and vagina and was treated to more graphic anatomy. Who knew? (Other than millions of adolescents.)

    But back to the book, there is actually one buttcheek reference somewhere in the manuscript. The first person to find it after the book comes out and report back on this thread will receive a free signed photograph of my left buttcheek.

    Funny. At that one link, the subtitle read, "Genghis was here." Not sure what that meant.

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