MOFT: Episode 8 (Reddi-Wip)

The first time I remember seeing a Reddi-wip can was on a camping trip during a high school summer when some of my friends tried to get high by snorting the nitrous oxide gas inside it. Even back then, a 'whippit' sure looked like a stupid, only mildly effective, thing to do.

But now almost 20 years later, Reddi-Wip is indeed getting me high on a regular basis -- through sheer creamy goodness. I'm telling you, I am using this shit in and on everything. Hot cocoa, coffee, peanut butter sandwiches, cereal, cookies. It's just a beautiful, beautiful invention (and not surprisingly, it was a St. Louisan, Aaron 'Bunny' Lapin, who made it all happen some 60 years ago). Congrats, Reddi-Wip, you are easily My One Favorite Thing of the week.

The best part is the regular stuff has only 15 calories and 1 gram of fat, and the fat-free variety is only 5 calories and basically just as good. (It also comes in Chocolate, which is awesome, and Extra Creamy, which just sounds way too sinfully decadent to try even though it only has a mere 20 calories a serving).

Want a really delicious, relatively healthy snack? Try a couple of Stella D'oro Almond Toast cookies (100 calories, 2g fat, 0 saturated) and then cover them with some Redi-Whip ... hmmm-mmm...

I frankly just don't understand how the caloric content can be so low. Now zero calories in diet soda and the I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Spray, that I understand, because those things taste like nothing but chemical crap, but Reddi-Wip is so creamalicious, it's like taking a drink straight from a cow's teat.

And as if it couldn't get any more perfect, Reddi-Wip is also a great accessory for naughty sex play. Certainly much better than chocolate body paint, which by the time you get anywhere good, you're already in a hypoglycemic diabetic shock.

There is only one small caveat when it comes to Reddi-Wip enjoyment. For your own good, do not accept offers for Reddi-Wip when you're at someone else's house as it is effing impossible to resist the temptation to use one's mouth to clean off the top of the can after spraying it. not to mention, there may be punk teenagers in the house who try and snort the damn thing when mom and dad aren't around. So just do what I do and bring a can of Reddi-Wip with you wherever you go.

(P.S. I am amazed that 'Reddi-Wip' is how you spell the product. If someone would have asked me before writing this, i would have gotten both parts of the hyphenate wrong. It's much easier to write Nature's Perfect Food anyway).