Michael Wolraich's picture

    BREAKING: First Dog

    Under relentless media pressure after weeks of foot-dragging, the Obama Administration finally selected a nominee for a top government post: First Dog.

    The story was intended to be a Washington Post exclusive, but a mysterious website called FirstDogCharlie.com revealed a candid picture and a really dumb fake interview. Then the hard-nosed journalists at TMZ.com snatched the scoop. According to TMZ, the puppy is a Portuguese Water Dog and will be presented to the Obamas by Senator Kennedy on Tuesday. In response, the Post rushed out a story revealing the puppy's name: Bo. The name was reportedly selected by the Obama girls after consultation with the White House Press Secretary, who rejected their first choice: Mohammed Hussein Ahmadinejad, Eater of Christian Babies.

    The dog was reportedly born and raised in a Texas kennel, which will please southern constituents, and his black coat will appeal to Obama's African-American base. But Republican leaders have expressed concern that a dog chosen by Senator Kennedy will back a liberal agenda, and others have questioned the young dog's diplomatic experience. As with previous administration appointments, we can expect a fierce fight on the confirmation floor as Republicans call the puppy's Portuguese lineage un-American, and the administration seeks to portray critics as obstructionist and anti-puppy.


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