The Bishop and the Butterfly: Murder, Politics, and the End of the Jazz Age
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    The State of the Day is Estrogenic

    By Michael Wolraich on Sat, 12/06/2008 - 3:41pm | Politics, Potpourri

    Caroline Kennedy is considering pursuing Hillary Clinton's vacant Senate seat according to a cousin, who surely spoke of his own volition and not as part of any political PR strategy. Kennedy may face some stiff competition for the post though, as dagblogger Mortimus is considering changing his screen name to Mortimus Kennedy Jr. and appropriating Orlando's womanly avatar, according to his cousin. Question for the audience: Do you know of any female "Juniors?" Why don't women give their daughters their own names? Or more importantly, why do some men? Another question on the subject: My brother and sister-in-law, despairing of combining two mouth-challenging last names, gave their baby son a brand new name that sounds nothing like either of theirs. Innovation or insanity?

    Cross-dressing thieves stole $100M worth of jewelry from a Parisian boutique. They also sold the movie rights for an extra $50M bonus.

    Radical Jewish settlers promised a "week of revenge" in retaliation for having been evicted by Israeli security forces from a West Bank house which they had dubbed Bait Hashalom, which means house of peace. The settlers were evicted for irony violations after they scrawled graffiti on nearby Palestinian homes vowing, "There will be war over the house of peace." In other news, the city of Jerusalem will allow the Wiesenthal Center raze an ancient Muslim cemetery in order to make space for a planned Museum of Tolerance.

    With rising real estate values and jobs to spare, North Dakota has been declared a "recession-free zone." Auto dealer and amateur economist Justin Theel explained the unique success of the state: "Our banks don't do those goofy loans."

    Missed your chance to donate the Clinton campaign? For a mere $50, you can have a "Conversation with Hillary Clinton" hosted by America Ferrera a.k.a."Ugly Betty." The backstage photos with Clinton will cost you $1000 though.

    Speaking of Ugly Betty, John McCain's campaign paid $165K to Sarah Palin's three stylists. While some may doubt the wisdom of such expenditures, those who have seen Palin without makeup know better:

    This post is part of a not-even-close-to-daily series which summarizes the news of the day according to me.

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    Comments

    They really named it "the house of peace?"

    Human capacity for unintended irony is astonishing.


    by Orlando on Sat, 12/06/2008 - 6:08pm

    well, i know your bro and sis-in-law so id lean insanity anyway, but even if i were unbiased i'd say the same, tho perhaps i'll grant it innovative insanity. creating an entirely new family surname: that's just feminism gone mad!

    at worst, combine the two names into some funkalicious (funky-delicious, for those that don't understand how that process would work) new name. i dont know (or remember) L's last name, but yours is full of funkalicious possiblities.


    by Deadman on Sat, 12/06/2008 - 6:28pm

    I thought your bit about the Museum of Tolerance was just Onionesque hyperbole, then I looked it up. Sadly, no.

    I haven't been there, but people who have tell me that -- for all Jerusalem's symbolic and historic importance -- only rightwingers or the ultra-religious think it's a neat place to live. All the cool people are in Tel Aviv, cavorting on beaches and pretending the Holy City, the seething West Bank and the country's demographic time bomb don't exist.

    The result: Jerusalem's elected municipal govt. is totally tone-deaf to the sensibilities, not to mention legitimate needs, of its Arab population. Somehow power outages and garbage pickup become problematic the further east you live. And bonehead decisions like building on a graveyard are routinely approved.

    A solution to this insanity can't wait for two full Obama terms.


    by acanuck on Sun, 12/07/2008 - 12:42am

    Dammit. I only just realized that the pic wasn't working.


    by Michael Wolraich on Sun, 12/07/2008 - 7:38pm

    RE: names. Innovation and insanity aren't mutually exclusive.  So I'm thinking both.  Also my massage therapist (damn that makes me sounds like an over-priveleged yuppy) gave her baby her last name becuase she and her husband "talked about it, and it didn't matter much to either of us, but it mattered just a little bit more to me."


    by CaliforniaPaige... (not verified) on Mon, 12/08/2008 - 12:21pm

    Why does "Genghis Junior" not strike an equivalent amount of terror into me? And why does "Dead Junior" sound like an AWESOME name?

    by quinn esq on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 12:22am