Senor Eduardo and the Moor arrived at Joyous Gard, in Cornwall in pretty good time and in pretty good shape. Now let me do all the talking Sir Palidan said.  

Who goes there? Cried the Palace Guard from the turret.

Sir Palidan from Camelot at the request of King Mark.

The great draw bridge was lowered and the two, knight and horse, entered the dark structure.

Eduardo was taken to the stables with strict instructions from the Moor as to care and feeding.  The stable boys were used to such instructions.  All the knight's horses were team mates.  Much status and prestige was carried on a horse.

Sir Palidan was led to the throne room and there on the throne was King Mark a/k/a The Fox.
King Arthur never really trusted King Mark, but Cornwall was considered the 'outskirts' of the realm.  

King Mark was present and greeting an Irish Thane, Sir Rufus. Sir Rufus was presenting The Fox with an ornamental mace.  Now this is not the mace of the Three Wise Men-oh that was Murrh.

It was not the spice you put in pumpkin pie.  This mace was an ancient weapon, a metal tube of sorts with a ball on the end.

Thank you Sir Rufus.  This is splendid.

It was given me by my grandfather, King of Ireland.  Known as King O'Brien. He was the primary ally of your father, Sir Gorlois.

Yes, my father's ally and friend.  They fought many battles together.

Rufus was duly granted his leave, and Sir Palidan was escorted to the throne. The Moor knelt in fief.  That was different than kneeling in fife.  That held a different note of reverence.

I have never met a Moor prior to this, Sir Palidan.  How came you to the Court of King Arthur?

Sire, I was an ally of Camelot in Palestine during the Holy Wars.  The King invited me to Camelot after I had an unfortunate run in with a local Sheikh after accidentally finding myself in his harem.

But tell me, King Mark, what reason do you have for seeking the help of Camelot. How can I be of service?

We are holding a jousting tournament tomorrow and we needed a representative from the East to fill our team of heroes.  I have been informed that thou art the third best jouster at Camelot.  And we are short Tristan, as you well know.


With that the King escorted Sir Palidan across the throne room, down the great hall and into the lists.  The Moor had not been paying that close attention to King Mark and was astonished to discover that the monarch had been standing the entire time of his introductions.  This King was a mere four foot nothing. Sir Palidan had never been in this kind of situation before and did his best to play down, so to speak.

The King discussed the old days when he was the best at the lists in his small kingdom and had competed often at Camelot.  That is impossible, thought Palidan, what did he compete on, a rocking horse.

Yes, it was my trusty steed Rocky and I that made up the best jousting team in the realm.  

What realm was this anyway the Moor thought.  Once the Fox mentioned Rocky, he was having a sincere problem keeping the mirth in his belly. This midget on a Rocky Horse was the single funniest picture that had ever reached his thought process since he noticed the third nipple on that sheikh in the Royal Harem.  Surely the Royal Spear could not have been half the size of the one Palidan used. When Mark was speaking about the old days, he must have been referring to some middle school.

The lists were already prepared for contest and after swallowing his inclination to laugh at a King who could order him to a peasant's cemetery, Palidan asked the short monarch who his competitors would be.

Well, there is the knight whom you saw in the Throne Room.  And there will be Sir Scarborough and probably Sir Hume.  It depends of course upon the outcome of the first jousts, as always.  The contest you see is kind of a pyramid scheme.  The victors go onto the higher tiers.    

But let me see thy steed Palidan.

Oh, it is just the normal steed, replied the Moor.  A fear gripped him.  One look at this king and Senor Eduardo would not be able to control his lesser gods, so to speak.  But King Mark insisted and in the blink of an eye Sir Palidan became a Christian, praying to Jesus to keep his nag quiet.

The King led Palidan to the stables off to the East of the Lists, and the Moor rolled his eyes as the duo approached Senor Eduardo.  His trusty steed had a feed bag on, which always disgusted him.That is it disgusted the horse.

A fine steed indeed. Said King Mark.

Immediately, after espying the crown of the monarch, Senor Eduardo began neighing and chortling, uncontrollably.

What is the matter. Is the horse all right?

Oh yes, Sire.  The oats probably just went down the wrong way.

He gets a little self conscious King Mark and it would be best if we left him in peace.

The midget king and the Moor proceeded around the arena and Sir Palidan was so grateful to Jesus for getting him through this tough time, that he escorted the King to afternoon Mass.

The next morning, the arena was filled with the lords and ladies, and the dukes and duchesses and the earls and earlesses.  (There really was never such a thing as an earless but I had to have the line scan) Peasants were present also in the seats closest to the action.

Sir Palidan and Eduardo were readied for their joust against Sir Rufus.  As they began to reach a trot, Eduardo said, Remember to fade to the right and I will bring you inside.

Sure enough, the Moor faded to the right and Rufus thought he could unhorse his foe by hitting him in the left shoulder.  However, Eduardo steered to the left, Palidan straightened out and hit Rufus directly into his Irish gut, knocking him to the ground.

Hurrah, the crowd yelled.  

The day went well for our hero, but at the end of the day, only two knights remained.  Sir Palidan and an errant knight by the name of Sir Sagamor.

This was only the fourth man the Moor faced this day.  Sagamor seemed to have a good relationship with his horse but his armor was scruffy to say the least.

But as the two rode straight toward one another Eduardo knew there was something different about this last foe.  The rider was part of his steed and the steed was very smart and stared him down, horse eye to horse eye.

As the two teams met at the center of the lists, the spears broke at the same time and both riders were unhorsed.

What the hell was that, Sir Palidan thought.    The Moor was not that used to being a Christian so he did not cross himself.

Sagamor was equally impressed.  Somehow Sagamor recalled doing this jousting before and he and his animal were one, at least until he found himself on the ground.

The knights were addressed by their trainers and rearmed and rehorsed.

This time the speed of each horseman was increased and the crash of the two riders was heard immediately by all the crowd.  Both riders were once again thrown to the ground.

And it took, Palidan longer to recover this time.  Sagamor seemed to be used to this sort of thing. But even he was a bit dazed.

King Mark, standing on his throne chair, called for the linesman and declared the joust a tie.

All The Fox could think was, who would have guessed that this Affirmative Action stuff really worked?  But he did not wish to send Sir Palidan home injured, for he was far to valuable a competitor and a gracious knight.

After the award ceremony, there was a great banquet and all the competitors were present.

It was then that Palidan knew why his competitor had been so ferocious. He knew not why he had taken the name Sagamor, but this was Lancelot du Lac, the greatest of all the knights.

And Palidan really felt proud of how he stood up to the best with his faithful steed Eduardo.

Sir Palidan cornered Sagamor under the pretense of discussing horsemanship.  They walked to the stables, for they both honored horses and it was then that Palidan disclosed to Sagamor who he really was.

At that moment, Lancelot had an epiphany and he realized who he was. The two went back to the festivities and were joyous at Joyous Gard.

Sagamor and Palidan, they were the best of friends
The Christian and the Moor almost found their ends
The end of their spears
Almost in their rears
But no tears from the heroes were spent.

The knights were greatly honored but the true identity of Lancelot was kept quiet from the rest.

The two proceeded east to Camelot.  After they had crossed the moat and were well on their way, Eduardo began laughing.

What is that? inquired Sir Lancelot.

I am Senor Eduardo, Sir Lancelot.

Lancelot looked at Palidan and began laughing.

What are you laughing at Eduardo? Palidan asked.

A midget king who claims to have jousted. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

What are you laughing at Lancelot?

A talking Senor. Hahahahahaahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahah.


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