Sir Quixotic awoke. Refreshed. He felt so gooooood. At last he had found his love.
As he awoke he looked around. The sun had been up an hour. A little chill but no clouds. He looked around. He was on the green mesa. It was beautiful. But no pavilion. And Justice was gone. He was alone once again. His sacred steed, was nudging him.
Oh, at least you have not left me. I could not bear that. You know, you are just about the only friend I have left. At least you had something to munch on, huh?
The knight stood, his aches and pains were gone. He felt renewed. He felt a new youth. He donned his bucket...er...helmet and climbed onto his mighty steed. Where shall we go now?
You know they say you are as young as you feel and that is why I enjoy the company of younger women. Hahahahaha
It is time for a song, something bluesy:
I'm gonna run a fast pace
All the way to Dover
And I aint never comin back
Gonna climb the White Cliffs, the White Cliffs
I'm gonna jump off, aint nobody gonna know
Cant you see, Oh Cant you see
What that Justice, been doin to me
Cant you see, oh cant you see
What that Justice, been doin to me
There's so much inequity,
It is all so unfair you know
If Justice is not attained, if I cannot have her
Then everything, everything is gonna blow
Cant you see, Oh Cant you see
What that Justice, been doin to me
Cant you see, oh cant you see
What that Justice, been doin to me
(It is best if you imagine this sung with an English accent!)
The two headed west towards Wales, the magic land. At the border, Sir Quixotic found an inn, The Black Temptress. The perfect place to relax a rue the day. He tied his majestic steed to the hitch outside of the pub and waltzed in.
Your finest ale.
I needs to see some gold or silver first bucket head.
Quixotic knew immediately he had forgotten to remove his helmet. He did so and then reached into his breeches to find a nice silver coin. The Keep bit it (I never really understood that, I mean if it is lead, you could get lead poisoning, if it were rubber-well there is no rubber in 483) and said:
Sir knight it will be my pleasure to serve you. All the ale you can drink and a room for the night if you wish.
Very well barkeep, a flagon please and bring it to my table, if you would be so kind.
The Keep really liked this kind of presentation. He was so accustomed to the low lifes who straggled in only to find they had 'forgotten' their treasure at home. But here, here was a true gentleman. A man of knightly blood, just missing the accouterments.
He gladly brought the flagon and asked if he could join the knight for a short time.
Of course, young man. From whence to you hale? Asked Quixotic.
Oh I am just a local. But I am fully seized of the place if you will. But more interestingly, knight I was wondering what moniker you hale by and from whence to you come?
I am Sir Quixotic of Camelot lost, and I fought with Uther in Cornwall and in ten other battles, one not too far from here. I am a knight errant, on my way to nowhere and everywhere at once. Hahahahaha. I look for justice and sometimes settle for a little equity.
But how do you make a livin?
Oh I own two estates in the southeast. When I need something I go back to the fields, my home. And then I am replenished.
Just then two regulars wandered in. Darf. How doest thou fare? (The unkempt youngsters inquired.)
I gotta go. See you later. Just bang the flagon and it will be filled. A pleasure to meet a real genteelman.
Frick & Frack. How can I help the worthless scum of the provinces this fine night?
We comes for theivin and drinkin and whorin. What more lofty goals are there?
Let me see yer gold or silver you worthless wretches.
I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a flagon today.
You are just two unworthies that do not wish to work for your coin. I could put you to work and then you might have some flagons said the keep.
You see that old fart in the corner?
Yes.
Keep your eyes toward me and lower yer goddamn voices, yahear?
Sure, sure. Here's to ales. For what ails ya. Sit over yonder and wait. After his third ale, you will bash him over the head and turn him upside down and delver the monies to me. Kapish?
Yes.
The Keep handed the blaggarts the ales and brought a new one for Sir Quixotic.
As he handed our hero the fresh ale, he sat down again. So what are you doing in this neck of the woods?
Well barkeep, I was on my way to the magical Wales, I had heard of strange and wondrous events going on in that place. I had been looking for Justice and found her briefly. She renewed me in a way I have not been renewed for years. I am older and my companion knights of old are mostly dead and gone. But today, ruing the loss of my one true love I see that it is the seeking of Justice that is of most import. Justice is to be sought always and found for only brief moments in one's life. Sir Quixotic took another big swig.
Meanwhile Frick banged his flagon, loudly and rudely. Just a second, dear knight.
The Keep went over to the bar and filled two flagons and brought them to our way ward boys. As he picked up the empty vessels, he smacked both of them over the head. Don't you ever attempt to order your betters again. Do you hear me?
Yes, yes, we hear you. Said the boys in obvious pain. The Keep leaned down and whispered: And you better start sipping this one. Because you will get no more until the deed is done. This will take an hour or two. If you do not cooperated I will summon the Sheriff myself and sign an oath and you will find yourself in the worst situation of your slimy, lowly lives. Understand?
Yes, yes we do. Frick and Frack responded most earnestly.
Good!
The Keep brought a third share of ale to Sir Quixotic and sat down. Tell me of the old days Sir Quixotic.
Oh there was Hengst and Horst, the most fearsome creatures in the world with hosts of bloodthirsty Saxons. These two villains had been hired by Vortigern who was attempting to consolidate his kingdom and they turned on him. Vortigern had been warned of this contingency but he chose not to listen and to fight with pagans and turn his back on his own faith. Taking another swig. Ahhh. Your ale is so fine. Where doest thou find such fine refreshment.
It is the hops, Sir, it is the hops.
As the night dragged on, our hero looked woozier and woozier. Finally collapsing on the table.
Frick and Frack attended to him at once. Frick grabbed the knight from the neck and the door opened and there was Beau Manes. What darkness has descended upon this inn? He inquired.
None of yer goddamnable business. Frick responded, feeling the greatness of the ale.
Whoa, think again blaggarts, think again.
But Sir Quixotic had only feigned drunkeness, he could have drunk those two kids under the table if he wished. The knight stood and grabbed both their heads and smashed them together. Both falling to the ground.
What evil hast befallen my peaceful in, cried the Keep. I am astounded that these two blaggerts would act in such a manner.
Oh, methinks there is deception about this dear Keep, Said Beau Manes.
Oh I assure you I know nothing of these goin ons...
Beau Manes pulled out a chair. Sit here.
The keep looked around and then, thinking, went and sat down where directed. Sir Quixotic, went behind the bar and sure enough, found some rope. The younger knight then secured the villain to the chair. There, that ought to keep you. Hahahahaha laughed Beau Manes.
The two knights each grabbed one of the boys and pulled them outside. They then proceeded to tie Frick and Frack by the ankles and hung the two blaggarts outside upside down.
The two errants, sat down for a nice bit of ale and told stories and lied about women and battles and it was a fine night to be with a fellow knight.