How LOW Can the POW Go?

    Having been a prisoner of war gives John McCain certain privileges as a candidate, and perhaps even some experience bearing on the presidency. But we haven't had that discussion yet. I think we will.

    Sam Stein's piece in today's HuffPo is a good overview of how McCain uses his ex-prisoner of war status as a Linus blanket that's supposed to comfort voters and cover a multitude of his political sins.

    But how low can McCain go? Let's flash forward to the second presidential debate on October 7, 2008:

    "Good evening. I'm Tom Bwrokhaw and wehlchome to the hahllowed halls of Behlton University in Nashville, Tennessee, for the second of three debates between Pwresidential candidates Bawrack Obama and John McCkhain. This will be a town hall format with quehstions offered by members of our audience here. Senator McCkhain, by a toss of the coin, you have the fiwrst quehstion."

    "Hello. My name is Celia Later, and Senator McCain, I would like to know why your wife Cindy actually plagiarized her cookie recipes and lied about not having a sister. Thank you."

    "Well, my friends —"

    "Oh. Actually two half-sisters."

    "My friends —"

    "Oh, and why she lied about Mother Teresa, too. Thank you."

    "Is that all? You sound like, what, the fine print of a Democratic appropriations bill." (Audience laughs.) "Mm-hmm. No seriously, my friends, in answer to that long question, you are impugning the character of my wife. When you do that, you are calling my character into question. I spent five-and-a-half years in a cell in Vietnam without any cookies, and I can tell you, no cookies taste as good as American cookies when you've been deprived of them." (Applause.) "Mm-hmm."

    "But I think she was asking about the whlies your wife tohld."

    "Mr. Brokaw, or Bwrokhaw, or however you pronounce your name, you keep polishing this young, inexperienced senator's apple and have the nerve to criticize my record. Years and years of service to this country with — I had no cookies. None. My wife was just a poor heiress, with no real baking experience. How could she have any? She had no sisters — excuse me, no family. There was no one to teach her about having her servants make cookies. Or meeting religious celebrities like Mother Teresa. I am a proud American who will follow Barack Obama — pardon me, Osama bin Laden — to the Gates of Hell. I am proud of my country and I was a POW who lived every day without cookies, crosses or even the shape of an Oreo drawn in the dirt."

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