History. Some say: what is the good of it after all? Well, for one thing it gives me something to write about. I mean attempting to track down every goddamnable lie (blesses himself) that cheney ever told. I mean its kind of like history. But it gets to be so boring.

Somebody actually wrote a book about the bush family.  About how hw was a spy in the tradition of Stalin and Putin and stuff. So what?  Whatever the previous bushes were up to, w could never comprehend it anyway.

Today's lesson deals with the Palagian Heresy. I know, you are asking what was the Palagian Heresy, I know I did:

Pelagianism is a theological theory named after Pelagius (ad. 354 - ad. 420/440). It is the belief that original sin did not taint human nature and that mortal will is still capable of choosing good or evil without special Divine aid. Thus, Adam's sin was "to set a bad example" for his progeny, but his actions did not have the other consequences imputed to Original Sin. Pelagianism views the role of Jesus as "setting a good example" for the rest of humanity (thus counteracting Adam's bad example) as well as providing an atonement for our sins. In short, humanity has full control, and thus full responsibility, for obeying the Gospel in addition to full responsibility for every sin (the latter insisted upon by both proponents and opponents of Pelagianism). According to Pelagian doctrine, because men are sinners by choice, they are therefore criminals who need the atonement of Jesus Christ. Sinners are not victims, they are criminals who need pardon.

But nothing exists in a vacuum, except those horrible strings and stuff that gets caught in my Hoover but that is another subject.  So who was this man whom everyone today is so crazy about?

Little or nothing is known about the life of Pelagius. Although he is frequently referred to as a British monk, it is by no means certain what his origins were. Augustine says that he lived in Rome "for a very long time" and referred to him as "Brito" to distinguish him from a different man called Pelagius of Tarentum. Bede refers to him as "Pelagius Bretto".^[6]St. Jerome suggests he was of Scottish descent but in such terms as to leave it uncertain as to whether Pelagius was from Scotland or Ireland.

Now this explains a lot. I mean the guy was Scottish for one thing. Well this Pelagianism was justaposed to another theory that is not really a heresy unless, of course, you are Pelagius:

Jerome emerged as one of the chief critics of Pelagianism, because, according to him, sin was a part of human nature and we couldn't help but to sin.

Well, let us take a look at these conflicting theories of human nature from a more modern standpoint. In the Daily Beast today, I learned that:

Even though the APA asked the psychiatrists working on the manual's revision to sign a nondisclosure agreement, leaked proposed additions to the new version have already stirred debate. "Psychiatrists manufacture mental diagnoses the way the Vatican manufactures saints," says Dr. Thomas Szasz, an outspoken critic of modern psychiatry and author of Psychiatry: The Science of Lies. This view may be extreme, but some of the new "mental illnesses" under consideration for the new edition nonetheless sound a little...crazy. Here are eight you may already be suffering from, whether you knew it or not.

 1.        Binge-Eating Disorder
 2.        Night-Eating Syndrome
 3.        Internet Addiction
 4.        Sex Addiction
5.         Compulsive Shopping
 6.        Embitterment Disorder
 7.        Pathological Hoarding
 8.        Pathological Bias

 Constantino Diaz-Duran is a writer living in Manhattan. He has written for the New York Post, the Washington Blade, El Diario NY and the Orange County Register. http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-05-28/8-new-ways-you-might-be-insane/

I think it might be best to do a little confessing here, discussing my own proclivities toward sin and see how this might be analyzed from a Pelagian/Jerome perspective.

Binge-Eating Disorder:

I was bored yesterday, so I found some apples in the refrigerator from last month. I peeled them and cut them up, put the good stuff in a pan with a bunch of sugar and slowly cooked them. Then I made a pie crust and filled it with the apple sauce stuff. I added my secret ingredient -cherry pie filling--and I put it all in the oven. After an hour or so, my plan was to have ONE piece of pie with some ice cream and it was good.

Night-Eating Disorder:

Ok, so that was in the afternoon and it was my birthday and everything so I thought, what the hell, the sun is setting. I should have one more piece of pie. I mean it was my birthday.

Internet Addiction:

Ok, so I like the internet. I mean I can take it or leave it. But there are all these neat stories and essays and pictures of solar systems, and people to 'talk' to and things to put down in writing without having to destroy any trees. And it is not like I am hurting anyone. I mean a few repubs end up with headaches and stuff. But Geeeez.

And I can take it or leave it. Sure, I decide to take it twelve hours a day, seven days a week, but it has only been 6 or 7 months or so and I have a lot to get off my chest.

The problem is that after and hour or so, I get a funny taste in my mouth, especially after reading rove or rush or something. And then it hits me.

I could have a piece of pie and catch up on internet reading to help make myself into a better citizen and besides I have no beer or even cheap whiskey till Saturday or Monday anyway....

Sex Addiction:

Ok, I really like naked women. I mean from all perspectives. Frontal view. Rear view (geeez don't get me goin) Sometimes I think about this subject much to much and the priests used to tell me how evil this all was and...

But you know how to get rid of such evil thoughts?  Well it was getting late, I mean really late. What possibly could take my mind off of such things?

Pie. Pie is good. It gets the ole taste buds goin and, I mean it was my birthday...

Compulsive Shopping:

Not really a problem with me. I mean one of the good things about not having any  money is that it really cuts down on compulsive shopping.

I got to thinking about this and then I discovered I was out of ice cream, so I went back to the store..

It was a long walk round-trip, and I got back, and I had the ice cream in my hand and everything...

Embitterment Disorder

I used to be embittered. I mean, I lost everything, I lost my profession, I lost my houses and fine furniture and my cars and my fine suits....

But it takes a lot of energy to keep these types of things. Oh the settlement check has not come in yet and the credit card company is sending me letters and the IRS wants more money and my car insurance is due and....Goddamn them all anyway the dirty bastards and...(blesses himself)

But you know what. When I start reminiscing about the past and start feeling bad about it, well, it is time for a nice piece of pie. Nothing like pie to take away all those terrible thoughts and feelings...

Pathological Hoarding

Ever notice that when you have a huge basement and a double garage with only one car in it that after a decade or so everything fills up so you have to rent some storage facility...

But I was able to go back to the basics.  Got rid of all that clutter.

On the other hand, you should always be prepared. So I began my stretch in this cell by stocking up on cherry pie filling. I mean I used to always have two or three cans laying around. When they are on sale, I mean a buck and a half...well you cannot beat that.

I am down to about ten cans now, but next month I will do better. You just cannot have to many cans of cherry pie filling. And always, I mean always have at least 20 pounds of sugar and 25 pounds of flour available JUST IN CASE.

Pathological Bias

I used to just hate repubs. I mean really, really hate them. I would be having a little snack and then cheney would get on tv and I would hurl the damn snack at the tv. Sometimes break the plate and scatter food all over the place..even end up harming the tv.

But those days are gone.

Now when rove or hannity or some such is being shown on the telly and I feel like I am just about to go nuts, I get a nice bowl of pie and ice cream.

And believe you me, No one in their right mind would throw pie and ice cream. Unless there was a burglar or something like that.

Now Pelagias was telling us that we can somehow surmount our addictions and passions and biases and reach for the stars so to speak. I mean we could have heaven right here on earth.

And how better to celebrate such a wonderful concept than with a fine piece of pie covered with just a tad of vanilla ice cream.