REPRESENTATIVE TOM HACKBARTH

Some folks are really good at planning their bizarre behavior.

Some folks are really good at offering excuses for their bizarre behaviors.

Some folks are really good at offering explanations for their seemingly bizarre behavior.

Other folks are just not so good at any of these things.

So I am really minding my own business and I come across a politician who had trouble planning a bizarre experiment, a politician who had trouble offering excuses for his bad behavior and a politician who definitely had some problems explaining his behavior. And, of course, since he was a politician, he faced no repercussions for that behavior.

LURKING WITH INTENT TO LOITER

Tom Hackbarth is an award winning legislator in the State of Minnesota.

DULUTH, MN (June 30) — Minnesota State Representative Tom Hackbarth was recently honored with the BlueRibbon Coalition (BRC) State Legislator of the Year award. The award was presented to Tom by Sonia Bartz, BRC President, at the All-Terrain Vehicle Association of Minnesota's (ATVAM) 25th Anniversary celebration in Silver Bay, Minnesota, on Saturday, June 14th, 2008.  http://www.sharetrails.org/releases/?story=598&filter=media

This great Republican statesman has represented his district in the State Legislature since the 90’s. He is from Cedar, Minnesota.

Naturally, as a Republican, old Tom is against abortion, here is just one of many votes to make sure nobody every receives any money from the state government for an abortion:

http://minnesota.publicradio.org/projects/ongoing/votetracker/issue_view.php?id=112

I could go on an on about this guy’s antiabortion stance: http://minnesota.publicradio.org/projects/ongoing/votetracker/legislator_view.php?id=173&session=2007

He is also against stem cell research. http://minnesota.publicradio.org/projects/ongoing/votetracker/legislator_view.php?id=173

Of course he is against health insurance for children. http://minnesota.publicradio.org/projects/ongoing/votetracker/issue_view.php?id=71

I could go on and on. He votes down increases in taxes for the richest folks in Minnesota, he votes down measures that would help the poor or the immigrant; name a repub stance on an issue, and this clown is right there with that stance.

Anyhow…

A security guard at a St. Paul Planned Parenthood clinic called the cops last week after he spotted a Republican state lawmaker with a loaded gun in the parking lot. But the pol says he was only "checking on" his online girlfriend, who he thought may be on a date with another man -- a claim police have not been able to corroborate because the man did not have a phone number or address for the woman.

According to the police report, a security guard reported the man, Rep. Tom Hackbarth, after he saw him get out of a pickup truck in the parking lot with a loaded gun in a hip holster. The guard saw him walk into an alley near the clinic.

When police came, they handcuffed him and took his gun, which he has a concealed carry permit for. Hackbarth claimed he didn't realize he was in the Planned Parenthood parking lot, according to the police report. He said he was in the neighborhood looking for his girlfriend, a woman he said he had met online a few months before and had been on a couple dates with.

Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm hunting for booty.

Police have not been able to track down the mystery woman. Hackbarth said he didn't have her phone number or address, as he only communicated with her via an online dating site. He also told police he didn't remember the name of the site.

Oh lawdy lawd, he has to make up an ONLINE girlfriend. "I, um, yeah, have this girlfriend. She's totally hot and she's a cheerleader and we talked a couple times. But, um, she doesn't go to school here. Well, I don't really know where she's going to school or where she lives or what her number is....

Hackbarth later told the Star Tribune that he had had coffee with the woman the day before and asked her out to dinner. She declined, saying she had plans with a female friend in the Highland Park, the neighborhood around the Planned Parenthood clinic.

But he didn't believe her.

"She gave me some line of baloney, and I thought, 'well, she's fibbing to me.' You could tell, and I thought, 'well, I'm going to check it out.' and I went there to see if she was around and her vehicle was not there. And I was just checking on her," he told the local CBS affiliate.

....but I'm going to check up on her with my loaded gun. You know, in case she was lying about not being able to get dinner tonight. What kind of shallow bitch would lie about not wanted to go on a date with ME, Republican Minnesota Representative Tom Hackbarth?"

According to the Tribune, he thought she was with another man and wanted to look around the neighborhood for her car. He didn't find it.

"I was not a jealous boyfriend," he said. "I was just trying to check up on her. It's totally a misunderstanding."

Don't let the fact that I don't have an address for her blind you from what I'm saying. I'm not jealous, I carry a loaded weapon around for all of my date. In case they lie to me.

Police found maps, binoculars and more ammunition in his truck. They did not press charges, and returned Hackbarth's gun to him a week later.  http://boards.ign.com/teh_vestibule/b5296/197929325/p1/?2

All righty then!!!

He was unaware of where he was and yet he not only had maps, he had binoculars.

But of course, he had the perfect excuse for why he was where he was .

And his explanation was that the entire matter was one big misunderstanding.

I reprint the entire blog here because it is just toooooooooooooooo hilarious. I mean this blogger can write.

Anyway, I started thinking of all these dumb criminal blogs—hell there are even cable shows dedicated to dumb criminals. I just include a few so make sure that when you find yourself totally bored with life, you can find more than a few laughs at these sites.  

A man who tried to steal cash from the Dunkin' Donuts outlet on the Post Road on Monday night fled with an adding machine that he apparently mistook for a cash register.

Police said the unidentified man walked into the doughnut shop about 10:28 p.m. and handed a clerk a note stating that he had a gun and a bomb. The man's note said he would use both if he didn't get cash, police said.

The man then grabbed an adding machine, which had no cash drawers, from the counter and ran from the shop.  http://stupidcriminalfile.blogspot.com/

 

A BURGLAR who broke into a neighbour's home was found fast asleep on her settee, Burnley magistrates were told.

Michael Arthur Bolton, 35, had taken a tranquilliser before raiding the home of Michelle Robinson, in Griffin Close, Burnley, which had made him sleepy, the court heard.

Mrs Dacre said that rather than confronting any potential intruder, she went into the kitchen and rang for the police.  http://stupidcriminalfile.blogspot.com/

Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

SANTA BARBARA, California - A career criminal was sentenced to 25 years to life in prison under California's three-strikes law for stealing $11 worth of wine, lip balm and breath freshener.Superior Court Judge Frank Ochoa called Ronald Herrera, 57, one of the worst criminals to pass through his courtroom, and prosecutor Darryl Perlin said: "He's what the three-strikes law is all about." Herrera's record lists 17 serious felonies, including a 1971 home-invasion robbery and rape of a woman and her 15-year-old daughter, the shooting of a police dispatcher, and six armed robberies in Virginia.He was sentenced Thursday for burglary and petty theft at a supermarket. At trial, his lawyer said Herrera has a brain injury that made him forget to pay for the items.

http://www.legal-forms-kit.com/legal-jokes/stupid-criminals.html

 

Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, thostupid-criminalscourtroom-humordumbest-things-saiddumblawdumb-lawsindexlawyer-jokesugh, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home...with the chain still attached to the machine...with their bumper still attached to the chain...with their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.

South Carolina: A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.

Arizona: A company called "Guns For Hire" stages gunfights for Western movies, etc. One day, they received a call from a 47-year- old woman, who wanted to have her husband killed. She got 4-1/2 years in jail.

San Francisco: It seems a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote, "This iz a stikkup.  Put all your muny in this bag."  While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window.  So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.  After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.  She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his stick up note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left.  The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who seized the man as he waited a the back of the line at Bank of America.

 

Texas: A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a prison sentence. For payment, he provided the court a check--a *forged* check. He got 10 years.

(Location Unknown): A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head--and realized that he'd forgotten to cut eyeholes in the mask.

(Location Unknown): A man successfully broke into a bank's basement through a street-level window, cutting himself up pretty badly in the process. He then realized that (1) he could not get to the money from where he was,(2) he could not climb back out the window through which he had entered, and (3) he was bleeding pretty badly. So he located a phone and dialed "911" for help ...

 

http://www.legal-forms-kit.com/legal-jokes/stupid-criminals.html

Okay, that is enough for today.

I think the best excuse was the recent brain surgery gamut.

I have filed that one away for future use.