THE SUPER BOWL RING

The Super Bowl is set for February 7, 2010. Now I have been a legal resident of Minnesota my entire life except for one year in Florida. I will get to the exception in a minute.

I watched the Vikings get into the Super Bowl in 1970 when the franchise was only ten years old as a franchise. We go there without Fran Tarkington.

Then I watched the Vikings get into the Super Bowl three more times with Franny in the seventies.

MY TEAM HAS NOT GOTTEN TO THE SUPERBOWL SINCE.

Of course we managed to lose ALL FOUR TIMES WE WERE IN THE SUPER BOWL.

By the eighties I gave up on football. I mean you take a girl out four times and do not score; it is definitely time to look for other forms of recreation.

The year I take to get out of the frozen tundra I ended up in Tampa Bay. Okay, it was the 'Tampa Bay Area' but all three channels I got on my 19 inch talked about the Bucs every frickin day. And sure enough, the Bucs go to the Super Bowl and win.   This was the only time before or since that they got to the Super Bowl and they WIN.

Now, the Vikes got a 'by' during these championships and depending upon how New Orleans does, we get home field advantage.  

The greatest sportscaster of all time, at least for football games is John Madden. He is the greatest comedian that sports have ever produced. He will use modern day tech to sketch out plays for our amusement. And he will demonstrate very important things to know about football.

He will show you with high tech how the winner must somehow move the football downfield and somehow cross the goal line. Or at least get close enough to kick field goals.

He will show you that you must stop the other team from moving downfield and from crossing the goal line. Or at least keep the enemy as far from the goal line as possible so that they can not score field goals.

And he will go on and on about how Bret Favre is the greatest quarterback that ever played in the NFL.

So even though we have the greatest quarterback that ever played in the NFL, we will either lose in these playoffs or, god forbid, if we get into the Super Bowl, we will lose.

I know that McConnell will vote against any health care provision that would benefit anyone.

I know that Boehner will vote against any tax increase for those making more than ten million dollars a year and then tell the American Public that the Obama Administration has just taxed the middle class.

I know that Dick Cheney cries every time there is an attempted act of terror in this country that fails.

And I know that George W. Bush is oblivious to the fact that he is an unconvicted felon as well as a doofus.

And I know that the Vikings will never win in the Super Bowl.

Enough of that.

The State of the Union address is the speech the President makes to a joint session of Congress at the beginning of the legislative session. This address is in accordance with Article 2, Section 3, of the Constitution, which provides that the President shall "from time to time give to Congress information of the State of the Union." Since 1945 the speech has been known as the State of the Union address. http://www.answers.com/topic/state-of-the-union-address.

Now this Constitutional act on the part of the President of the United States of America has become an important ritual. A ritual that  all four TV stations on my black & white in the fifties would air, uninterrupted. I mean this speech before a joint session of Congress--assuming there are no more embarrassing interruptions from radical repub pricks--will be dissected by all four major networks along with all cable news channels along with many religious channels for weeks following its airing. Every single issue facing this country will be touched upon.

And this time it will be orated by someone who does not look like Alfred E. Newman.

The White House will have worked on this speech for months before it airs. There will be arguments concerning what is to be stressed and what is to only be included. There have already been loud arguments as to the placement of nouns, verbs, adverbs and adjectives as well as prepositional phrasing.

Regardless of what ever you have heard concerning this coming speech, it will be extremely important to you and yours. I promise.

So Grouch sent me this tidbit today:

Fans of the ABC series about marooned plane crash survivors fear President Barack Obama will give his State of the Union address Feb. 2.

That's the same day as the three-hour premiere of the final season of "Lost."

Twitter comments Wednesday included "Leave my LOST alone, Skippy!" and "Come onnnn, Obama..pick another day."

The Facebook group "Americans Against the State of the Union on the Same Night as LOST" asks "When will it end?" It notes that Obama already bumped "A Charlie Brown Christmas" for his Afghanistan speech in some markets.  http://www.startribune.com/entertainment/tv/80933622.html

Now, as I understand it, Lost will be aired on February 2, 2010. There have been many episodes. If you miss an episode and refuse to pick it up on cable or tvo  or disk or whatever, you will have no idea what in the hell the drama is talking about. I will not see Lost. However, I am not worried, because at sometime in the future, TNT, or USA or SYFY or some other channel will play Lost episodes consecutively for the next decade. I know this because I have seen every single Law & Order ever made.

But we have community organizing going on here; or community emailing; or community tweetering.  And far be it from me to have hundreds of thousands of people irate with my President for merely fulfilling his constitutional obligation.

So I have a proposal.

PREEMPT THE GODDAMN SUPERBOWL.

February 7, 2010 is a fine time to hold THE STATE OF THE UNION.

The end.