Top 10 Boxes Cheney Lifted

    By Ripper on Tue, 01/20/2009 - 8:02pm |
    10. Mini jewelbox of plutonium-impregnated marbles he lost in George H.W. Bush White House (including Aggie used to beat president Ford and brain matter used against Bush II with apparent success).

    9. Jumbo corrugated 60" x 48" box of manure dumped on Tim Russert in first 15 seconds of 2002 "Meet the Press" interview.

    8. Lockbox containing .000001 percent of wealth looted through Halliburton.

    7. Bottomless box of mint-quality (unused) scruples.

    6. Shoe box with $8,000 of Bailey Building & Loan money left by Uncle Billy in folds of newspaper.

    5. Shipping container of WMDs.

    4. Box of X-acto knives used on U.S. Constitution.

    3. Trunk containing lifetime of withheld love and a sled named "Rosebud."

    2. Ring box with rejected yearning for human feelings.

    (drumroll...)

    1. Crate of lead-lined pants used to cover his big, fat, despotic ass.

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