Only you could appreciate this, Richard.

Years ago, I spent a lot of years as a waiter. One place was a little bar next to a hospital. Every other Friday, it was jammed with hospital people--doctors, nurses, administrators--for happy hour. Something they called "Liver Rounds" because cirrhosis turns the liver round and, of course, them folks were drinking round after round.

As you can imagine, it was a pretty regular group of 50 or 60, and a cross-section of humanity, some of whom could hold their liquor better than others.

Anyway, there was this one regular named Dick. He would get a bit surly when he drank, and on one particular occasion, he was surlier than usual. As I handed him his drink, he said, "You know, you look like a Peter." And in that moment, I said, "That's funny, you look like a Dick."

It was only one of a handful of times that the right response was there in the moment.

If you guys were latino, you could have reasonably given your son any number of names that might've given him a head start: Cesar and Jesus come to mind. One of the things I love about latinos: They have much better names than we do.

Turns out these are the middle names of the Beatles. James is actually Paul's first name and Paul his middle name.