My Downhill Slide

(it helps to think of Johnny Cash when singing this)

In a Memphis Honky-Tonk, I sat,

Shootin’ the breeze and having a chat,

With some of my old friends I’ve known for years,

I hadn’t seen some for quite a while,

But when they saw me, they didn’t smile,

And I knew right then, I had to calm their fears,

I said, “Listen Boys, don’t give me stuff,

“Life’s been cruel, and I’ve had it rough,

And you don’t know the half of what’s happened to me,

Cuz in spite of all my prayers and wishin’,

I got myself a degen’rative condition,

Which means, every day I swear and curse,

But every day I get a little worse,

and that is really how it’s gonna be,

So if you don’t want to be a debtor,

Don’t you bet on me getting’ better,

I’m afraid it isn’t what you’re gonna see,

I’m takin’ a ri-i-ide,

On that downhill sli-i-ide,

If you need skates, you’d better rent’em,

Cuz I’m gatherin’ speed and gaining momentum,

It can not be denied,

No-one can stem the tide,

Of my downhill slide.

So in that Honky-Tonk I sat,

Drinkin’ beer and getting’ fat,

While one of my old friends even shed a tear,

Then all at once, my buddy, Kirk,

Said to me, “You’re a piece of work,

There’s a way of lookin’ at this that you don’t see,

Sure you got a degen’rative condition,

But that doesn’t mean ya just go fishin’,

It means every day the seeds you’re sowin’

That’s the way we’ll ALL be goin’,

You’re just leadin’, and we’re bringin’ up the rear,

So let's make a pact, and we'll sign this letter,

Though you ain’t getting' any better,

You’re blazin’ trails for us as our pioneer,

We’re ALL takin’ a ri-i-ide,

On that downhill sli-i-ide,

We’ll all need skates, so we’d better rent’em,

Cuz we’re gatherin’ speed and gaining momentum,

It can not be denied,

No-one can stem the tide,

Of our downhill slide,

When your good days aren't as good,

As your bad days used to be,

You have to know, it's time to go, Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

And enjoy the ri-i-ide,

On your downhill sli-i-ide,

We’ll all need skates, so we’d better rent’em,

Cuz we’re gatherin’ speed and gaining momentum,

It can not be denied,

No-one can stem the tide,

Of our downhill slide,

Of our downhill slide.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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