I finally watched this video. It does not describe anything I am familiar with except for the part about humans having a capability of maintaining a circle of close relationships of about 150.

I like to participate in forums like this one as an alternative to dealing with friends family and business associates for intellectual interaction with others about things I am interested in, things which friends, family and business associates are not so interested in. This keeps my meatspace interactions healthier, I believe.

I have little interest in talking about myself or promoting myself on the internet. I want to maintain a lof of privacy in the internet space. I hate Facebook and other social networks, it seems to be making socialization into more work and stress than it already is. The internet social network thing is also forcing people to reveal to each other things which in the past they might not, like politics and religion--not to mention secret relationships and social history--which "mom" always rightly warned to keep away from "the dinner table" in order to keep a civil society.

I don't suffer much from loneliness, never have. Grew up in a very cramped apartment in an ill-kept lower class rental neighborhood with many younger brothers and no privacy of any kind. Other families there were more cramped than mine. And also with no place to entertain friends without embarrassment, always had to hide my home and visit theirs instead. I grew up very jealous of others who had privacy. I also was naturally very shy as a kid but learned to overcome that. Still, dealing with social networks is stressful work and leaves me exhausted. And interacting with the ideas, thoughts and analysis of others with similar interests on the internet is both relaxing and invigorating. And also a great way to procrastinate dealing with real life! (It is not just forums like this one, but also others, like on gardening, for example.)

When other people on the internet try to take that scenario and create substitute friends and family and community, when they try to get too personal, is when I leave. I also often find that very unhealthy, because these are not real true meatspace relationships and you do not really know these people like in a real social network.  I already have plenty of friends, family and a social network that are more than I can deal with, with problems and delights and needing emotional attention. I am not looking for more on the internet, I am actually looking to get a break from that. I.E., if you see me posting a lot here, you can be pretty sure I am avoiding answering email from friends, family or business associates that is stressful., and looking for intellectual stimulation which is relaxing.

Another thing.I think those who characterize big urban areas like NYC as lonely and alienating have it very wrong. They are either visitors or recent transplants who have not adjusted to the paradigm yet or people who would be similarly troubled anywhere. It's places like suburbia that are lonely and alienating and require people to find replacements for interaction in virtual spaces like Facebook. I only have to step out my door to get lots of human interaction in NYC, more than I can handle if I turn on my friendly and open Midwestern girl shtick (not really the nuanced truth about the Midwest.) Places that are organized like NY into big webs of neighborhoods with little reliance on cars to get about force you to interact with others, for good or ill. The famous NYC rudeness is not real rudeness but all of us giving signals to each other about whether we need some personal space right now or not. I see the differences clearly when I visit my hometown of Milwaukee. It is organized into social cliques, not neighborhoods, which are very hard to break into. Expats like me have to realize we have to slow down, even walk slower, so as not to appear rude, and cannot feel free to interact with anyone in public, even your close neighbors, because no one is giving clear signals about that.