The Bishop and the Butterfly: Murder, Politics, and the End of the Jazz Age
    Richard Day's picture

    FREE RANGING CHILDREN

    By Richard Day on Sat, 04/18/2015 - 11:43pm |

    I wrote awhile ago about being free.

    http://dagblog.com/reader-blogs/old-memories-18788

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGmY-SwT37g

     

     

     

     

    My Word failed me so I shall keep on keepin on.

    What Barry was discussing was free ranging children.

    And my previous blog discussed how I had free ranged at the age of four since my poor mama had to take care of two younger siblings.

    Sometime in the fourth grade, my papa led us all into Richfield, Minnesota.

    It basically ran from 63rd street to 78th street and from Xerxes south to Columbus north.

    The entire suburb was 300 or 400 square blocks.

    The purpose of this move was to keep us kids away from the N*&^%ERS.

    This  from my own deceased father's mouth.

    Barry talks about living as a kid next to a pond.

    His mother would watch as the two kids ran to the local pond.

    DONT DROWN.

    Okay Mom, we promise not to drown.

    Now in the fourth grade, I would travel on my bike with three friends all over Eden and somehow (without a watch) it would become clear that it was time for all of us to go home.

    And until I was fourteen or so, I always found myself back at home for dinner.

    I really do not know how 'we' did it. But we always ended up home on time for dinner. hahahahah

    We were free range children for chrissakes.

    hahahahahah

    My poor mama had too many burdens as well as too much booze to handle recent taboos.

    Just like Barry says, what were the odds against permitting children to explore?

    I recall entering Richfield in the fourth grade.

    There were no Blacks or Hispanics or Arabs or....

    Who cares?

    In this bubble, there was an experiment.

    We received extreme education.

    I mean we watched videos from Disney teaching us about evolution.

    We watched videos about how we beat the Nazi's and the Japs.

    We watched videos about how we were all gonna die from Nuclear war.

    By Junior High (Middle School now) we learned about fruit flies in the lab with microscopes.

    We had texts written by Harvard and Yale and Stanford geniuses.

    We had mimeographed pages every single day about every single subject.

    We had every single advantage that anyone would ever wish for their children.

    THIS WAS EDEN.

    And I appreciate what Barry has to say on this subject.

    We are going to the pond.

    http://news.nationalpost.com/news/world/child-protection-aervice-seizes-children-walking-home-alone-from-park-doesnt-tell-distraught-parents-for-two-hours

    DO NOT DROWN, says mama.

    WE WILL NOT DROWN, we promise!

    HAHHAHAHAHA

     

     

    I was learning to fly.

    And I guess, our children cannot ever learn to fly. 

     

     

    Comments

    If parents keep their kids away from Nailers, they will never learn how to get Hammered. 

    (P.S.  You spelled Nailers wrong.  There is no  *&^%  in Nailers.  )


    by MrSmith1 on Sat, 04/18/2015 - 11:55pm

    Oh my God, I just posted this, five times cause I screwed up. hahhahaahah

    I gotta think about this.

    Honest, I just got here seconds ago.

    I CANNOT FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. HAHAHAAH

    THIS IS ALL I GOT


    by Richard Day on Sun, 04/19/2015 - 12:06am

    What's to understand?  You wrote that "The purpose of this move was to keep us kids away from the N*&^%ERS."     Seems to me, Nailers is the only word that makes sense in that context.  I just thought maybe you were having keyboard troubles or something and you misspelled the word.  

    P.S.  I love reading your childhood pieces.   they always trigger memories.  Like the smell of Mimeograph machines...


    by MrSmith1 on Sun, 04/19/2015 - 12:25am

    I already responded you idiot. hahhahahah

    I always smelled memeographs. hahahaha

    I clarified, like butter, I just  could not figure out what the hell you were talking about until it hit me.

    Like most things in life.

    It takes me a few times to get it.

    I aint that smart. hahahahahha

    I dunno, it is midnight or so and I love this. hhahahahahahaha

    who in the hell is going to talk to me at midnight. hahahah

     


    by Richard Day on Sun, 04/19/2015 - 12:35am

    Just another old insomniac like me.   hahahaha
     


    by MrSmith1 on Sun, 04/19/2015 - 12:48am

    hhahahahha

    Oh I thought about other things as it were.

    I watch Louis CK sometimes. He makes me mad and then I laugh.

    He is on the dark side lately.

    But he loves his little girls.

    WHY ARE WE DOING THIS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?

    Well, cause it is in the middle of the night.

    That would be Louis CK's argument.

    I love my granddaughters.

    I think about what they will have to face.

    We shall do our best.

    That is all we have.

    Do the best we can.

    WHY AM I WRITING THIS?

    It is late.

    and so to bed. hahahahahah

    You know, Momoe caught me on this line once.

    That is all I got.


    by Richard Day on Sun, 04/19/2015 - 1:03am

    We are up because we are getting old.


    by trkingmomoe on Sun, 04/19/2015 - 1:58am

    LIKE I TOLD YOU, I JUST WROTE THIS.

    hahahahahahhahahah

    Nailers.

    I get it.

    hahahhahahaahah

    No, my papa was not talking about nailers. hahahahaha

    I am so damn stupid at times.

    But

    IF I HAD A HAMMER...

    HHAHAHAH


    by Richard Day on Sun, 04/19/2015 - 12:20am

    Yah, I am up too.  I was watching a Hallmark tear jerk movie on the computer.  I was just checking on my pictures. 

    I roamed all over the place too.  Road a bus downtown to the library when I was little.  My own children did too in Ohio.  The grandkids never leave the trailer park with out an adult. It is a new set of rules now.  They always have a cell phone with them.  Middle school they get to take it school with them.  There are no pay phones now.  I was taught to keep a dime in my shoe for a phone call. 

    I was a little girl and watched my little brothers everyday in the summer while my mother worked. Today a mother would go to jail for neglect doing that.  


    by trkingmomoe on Sun, 04/19/2015 - 1:50am

    I probably asomething here Momoe, but I rarely have had this type of response in this short of time....hhahahaha

    Yeah, but your grandkids....

    Yeah, a whole new world.

    hahhahah

    I have problems getting over this great response in such a short time when we are usually DONE at this time of week. hahahah


    by Richard Day on Sun, 04/19/2015 - 1:56am

    We went to school and our parents didn't have to fight for our education.  Today I was researching a Scholarship fund for the 8 year old to get him more tutor time in school.  He is has a learning disability but is bright.  This stupid state of mine makes you apply for the money to pay for the speech and reading teacher if they need more then 3 times a week.  They call it a scholarship and encourage you to send them to a charter school.  Only we will make sure he stays in public school. In the old days all you did was sign a permission slip and talk with teachers now you have to jump through hoops. Anyways it takes some doing and spending time on the internet. I don't like all these new rules. This is one of JEB's crappy programs. It was part of the charter school system to siphon money from public educations.    


    by trkingmomoe on Sun, 04/19/2015 - 2:12am

    Momoe, will you please just blog this sentiment?

    I wish to hear more.

    We all love you, of course, but WE need to hear more.

    I am just astounded at this reaction at Sunday AM when no one listens. Except, I get 200 hits in the middle of a nothing night. ahahha

    I wish to hear or read your story at a blog. And you now do blogs all the time.

    Please, please me and put this on your own blog.

    This message is for more than just me.

     

     


    by Richard Day on Sun, 04/19/2015 - 2:33am

    I am afraid I would have to use language that you are famous for. just to express my feelings.

    Right now I am a little under the weather.  More personal plumbing problems.  The doctor told me to only eat organic meat and dairy from now on. It is because of the antibiotics that the meat is laced with. I paid $6 for a dozen free range chicken eggs today. Lol. I guess I am going to have to do vegan with my budget. Why can't I be normal and have diabetes or high blood pressure?  


    by trkingmomoe on Sun, 04/19/2015 - 2:48am

    You get well sweetheart.

    I need to hear from you.

    A lot of folks depend upon you,.

    IT'S ALL GOOD.


    by Richard Day on Sun, 04/19/2015 - 2:56am

    Maher's a bit of a dick, and Dave Berry is certainly not looking at this in a deep way. Lessee, on my block 3 kids killed from one of those little sporting drives with another in a coma 2 weeks. Another killed in a motorcycle wreck. Another rolled over a jeep shattering his leg while the others got lucky. Another stole a car and drove it to Pennsylvania before the polece caught him and bashed up his head to match his crushed leg. 2 ended up in prison for dealing drugs, one of whom almost died in a drug-related stabbing. A 3rd escaped police bullets and went into the Air Force to get out of trouble but had a lifetime of dysfunctional city. 2 had to get married from unplanned pregnancies, a 3rd didn't have to choose because his alcoholic doped-up girlfriend drank through pregnancy and gave the baby up for adoption. The local pond to swim in might have had lots of toxins, as a number on the block died of cancer and a variety of bizarre illnesses, but that might have been from riding our bikes behind bug spray trucks or the army testing site nearby. On and on In short, few people count casualties of our little Paradise.

    by PeraclesPlease on Sun, 04/19/2015 - 4:26am

    Well, your block was apparently something fresh out of a goddamn Stephen King novel now, wasn't it? All of them gone, except YOU... starring as "Last little monster standing." And the audience is asking, "Has he TRULY changed? Is he a GENUINE force for good? ..... OR STILL EVIL!" [Hint: THE SUMBITCH IS EVIL! RUN KIDS, RUN!]

    Hey man. Most of the disasters you listed weren't caused so much by whether kids got to free-range a bit, as they were to wider societal stuff. Take car crashes. Our generation lost a lot of kids in cars. Too many. But sometimes, it was the car's fault. However, they make 'em better today. Sometimes it was booze and kids drunk-driving. That's changed too. Sometimes it was kids who were gay or depressed, wrapping themselves around poles. People are trying to change that. Sometimes it was the cops. That particular battle continues. But it wasn't so much the fault of "free-ranging."

    And again the same with sex and toxic ponds and such. Keeping kids indoors, with access only to cell phones and the Internet seems unlikely, to me, to keep them from sex. And the toxic ponds? Hell, turns out your bigger risk is in those idiotic basement rooms parents give their kids, which are basically radon traps for the young. [Expect to hear bitter recriminations from blogger-kids everywhere in about 20 years. MOM! SURE YOU GAVE ME MY OWN ROOM. BUT IN THE INVISIBLE-TOXIN-FILLED BASEMENT!]

    Anyway. I'm a fan of free-ranging. And f*ck the kids of today if they can't handle it. They need to toughen the hell up anyway. Which reminds me. Time for my morning constitutional. I take one of these Old Timey hockey sticks with me when when I go out walking each A.M.

    First kid I see reading his cell-phone with his head down gets a crosscheck right in the chiclets. Punks.

    And sure, it's dirty, hard work. But if we don't do it, who will?

    Think of the children! 


    by Q (not verified) on Sun, 04/19/2015 - 9:19am

    Do you ever wash your prophylactic, or that's as good as it gets? Yes, it was mostly due to free ranging - absentee parenting and a bit of "look ma, no hands" playing chicken by the train tracks. And yeah, we had radon too - just wasn't in top 10 causes of death. Okay, I might have been in the top 3 but some were real accidents. And while staring at a mobile phone is an ugly existence, there are alternatives to a few tabs of acid, a quart of bourbon and a bad attitude running red lights for fun to "Radar Love". Alright, Dave Barry was probably earlier in the Stand By Me/American Graffiti era before Gonzo Daze Are Here Again. Punk. Probably learned the foxtrot and dreamed of French kissing. Hard to call it Free Range when the chickens stay put on the farm anyway. And did I tell you? Wasn't just my parents - society made me do it. And yes, thought Children of the Korn was a great documentary.

    PS - yeah, Dave Barry forgets to note that in the good ol' 50's and 60's we didn't kill 320,000 of each other due to the increasing focus on the "right" to own guns. "Free range" children these days means the country's a free shooting range - something synonymous with patriotism it seems.


    by PeraclesPlease on Sun, 04/19/2015 - 4:17pm

    It is hard to argue with your logic when 14 people were shot in Chicago in one day, I think it was yesterday or the day before.

    Eden is gone, whether that place was myth or not.

    There is no Eden now.

    Fear and shame are important human emotions that keep parents on the alert.

    I aint arguing with you at all.

    But Q still has a point.

    Like I noted to Ramona (or she noted to me) we live in a different age when I realize I had no watch to tell me the time and now our children have computer thingys that allow us to communicate to them at all times.

    I aint arguing with you at all, really.

    Q has a point.

    How do we balance our fears with our need to let our children develop individually.

    Actually you know, it is the debate of the century for us all.

    That is:

    When do we let go and when do we let our children go?

    IT IS A DANGEROUS WORLD OUT THERE.

    On the other hand, we live in a type of Eden in the good ole US of A ( in many areas anyway) where a little latitude might be appropriate?

    Like I said somewhere here, I am glad I am not in charge of that decision.

    Good points.

     

     

     

     

    a

     


    by Richard Day on Mon, 04/20/2015 - 9:48pm

    The narrative parents repeat describing sequences where they imagine their children avoiding stupidity is, of course, also a message sent to themselves. Every time.

    One can't fault the kid for being more interested in the parent's response to the challenge than in any particular nugget of wisdom that might become an aphorism some day or a proverb in a book.


    by moat on Sun, 04/19/2015 - 6:43pm

    There is so much truth in what you say here Moat.

    We have to depend upon parents; and it might sound like some repub, but without parental intervention, children are smoke?

    Proverbs become great poems.

    But kids need more than poems.

    Kids need direction.

    Okay, now I sound like Nixon.

    hahahahaha

    Parents have to care and you really cannot legislate this conduct.

    In fact, if I may be so bold, there are no nuggets of wisdom.

    Instead there are hands on instruction, without the belt.

    I feel that kids know when their parents care.

    Oh god, I am a repub.

    hahahahahah


    by Richard Day on Mon, 04/20/2015 - 9:33pm

    The rate of all crime has decreasing to decades low levels. Cases  of free range children should be evaluated on a case by case basis keeping the reality of crime statistics rather than the fear based on the assumed level of crime.

    http://www.freerangekids.com/crime-statistics/


    by rmrd0000 on Sun, 04/19/2015 - 8:02pm


    by trkingmomoe on Mon, 04/20/2015 - 12:34am

    I was a free range kid - I think most of us were back then, or at least in my neighborhood. But it wasn't because our moms were working, they were just doing what they wanted to do, and it wasn't being with us. We got locked out of the house so mom could watch her soaps in peace (and probably eat so she didn't have to share with us!)

    I don't remember her actually "enjoying" us, but maybe we just weren't too enjoyable. Who knows?

    We had MUCH more freedom than my grandkids will ever have, but it doesn't seem like the world was such a creepy place back then, or at least if it was, parents were blissfully ignorant of the danger. We aren't. When I have the grandkids, they are right by my side. If we're at the park, I'm on alert, watching our surroundings, constantly. Going to the park alone? Not a chance, not even at 7 and 10 years of age. Walk to school by himself a whole 2 blocks away at 6? Not gunna happen.

    I've been reading a lot about how we are stunting our kid's growth (in terms of being able to take care of themselves) by NOT allowing them to free-range, and if that is true, I'm good with it. They've got a lifetime to fend for themselves. Right now, I'll take care of them, and protect them, and we'll ease into this self-sufficiency stuff.


    by stillidealistic on Mon, 04/20/2015 - 1:44pm

    Here is my third try in two hours.

    In the olden days, parents had to care for five or seven children in pretend Eden.

    Mama had only so much time.

    Even in my family, I had four sibblings.

    Peracles has a point.

    In the olden days, what was a Mother to do?

    But just on Sunday, fourteen people were shot in Chicago.

    My son has limited means, so unless the felons are idiots they should know they get nothing by kiddnapping.

    But this gun violence just never ends.

    A drive by shooting ensures that some child will be hurt.

    Anyway, this new generation understands that children must be watched.

    They must be watched in the back yard for chrissakes let alone the park!

    I will add my thoughts to this. I just cannot risk another crash.

    Second try.

    Precious is protected by mama who is a teacher by trade and papa who is always worried.

    And there are two children and both parents have to work together.

    Precious aint goin to some public school without her parents attending PTA.

    Precious will not walk to school. No way.

    Precious will not go to the park without parental supervision.

    I do not know when 'this' stops. When Precious is ten or twelve or sixteen?

    Q makes a point also.

    Should all kids be kept in the basement with properly adjusted computers?

    Nowadays we can 'monitor' children with Iphones or Ipads or whatever.

    We can communicate to those children hourly.

    the days of Eden are over.

    Now the Teaparty would blame all these problems on Hispanics and Blacks and....

    No.

    That is enough for now until I crash again.

    One more  thing.

    Thank God I am not in charge!


    by Richard Day on Mon, 04/20/2015 - 4:45pm

    We did have that freedom, didn't we?  We would be gone for hours with no cell phones, no nothing, and nobody was afraid.  When I had my own kids we lived in the suburbs where working moms were few and far between, and if our kids were free-ranging it only seemed that way.  All of us watched out for each other's kids, and everyone, including the kids, knew their boundaries.  

    On warm summer nights you could hear somebody's mom yelling out, "Aren't you supposed to be home?  It's getting dark.  Get home!"

    We live in fear now and I'm not so sure it's as dangerous out there as we think it is.  Sure, there are bad areas but there are neighborhoods where kids can wander around freely, without fear.  At least I hope there are.  Kids now live far different lives and I can't believe they're better for it.  Every kid needs some freedom to learn, to cope, to analyze, to fail, to succeed.  They need to figure some things out on their own.  We can't and shouldn't do everything for them.  I wish there was a happy medium.

    I saw Dave Barry on Maher's show.  I think a lot of people did because we've been talking about this a lot.   It's a myth that older people grew up in a different world.  All of the same fears and anxieties were there.  We had been through wars.  The threat of nuclear annihilation was palpable.  Kids disappeared.  Men and women were beaten up and/or murdered.  There were kidnappings.   We didn't alter our lives because of it.  When you think about it, childhood is our last chance at real freedom.   We should be figuring out ways to give them that, at least.


    by Ramona on Mon, 04/20/2015 - 6:48pm

    Thank you Ramona.

    In one of my prior drafts (that evaporated) to Stilli, I underlined that when 'we' were kids, there were 55,000 deaths on the road and we had half the population in this country that we have now.

    Now that figure is around 33,000, just a hair under the death figure related to gun deaths.

    There were gangs and there are gangs now.

    It was not long after that smog took over our cities, just like in China today..

    Smaller families are the vogue today, and thank God almighty.

    There is a danger of setting up too rigid regimens with regard to our children.

    But love is all around us, I can feel it!

    And many of our children do and will feel this love.


    by Richard Day on Mon, 04/20/2015 - 8:00pm

    I had to laugh at Barry's comment about drowning.  When we were kids we summered at my aunt and uncle's camp on Lake Superior.  You know that Lake Superior can be as scary as the ocean--it can be as calm as bath water but then it can get moody and black and every 12th wave is a big one--or so we were told.  One day, out of the blue, my aunt told us, "Now you kids stay out of that water until you've learned to swim!"   We never let her forget it.  Lol.

    Edited to add:  We were already swimming.  In that water.  And had been all summer.


    by Ramona on Mon, 04/20/2015 - 9:19pm

    Great post, Mr. Day. I'm just relieved that I don't have to be making these kinds of decisions.

    People are wrong to believe bad stuff was not around when we grew up. My sister had several bad encounters, including a psychopath who slit the back of hew coat with a razor while we sat watching a movie.


    by Oxy Mora on Mon, 04/20/2015 - 10:53pm

    Holy Christ!

    There were hidden dangers and that is for sure.

    Later on I discovered that this gym teacher in the eighth grade who hated me was eventually discharged for sexual issues with his students.

    And of course my Dad would drive dead drunk with his entire family in the car!

    There are hidden dangers everywhere.

    But parents, well we must depend upon parents or we are screwed!


    by Richard Day on Mon, 04/20/2015 - 11:27pm

    I learn to drive at 13 because of my dead drunk Father. They would load him into the car and I would take him home. I think I have been a grown up all my life. 


    by trkingmomoe on Tue, 04/21/2015 - 12:24am

    Yeah, this kind of family 'situation' changes us forever and ever.

    Amazing!


    by Richard Day on Tue, 04/21/2015 - 1:35am

    My Dad used to drive us across the Ohio ocean every Memorial day weekend to visit relatives in Kentucky.  He and his cousin, Barney House, sat in the front seat with a bottle of Early Times, the rest of us crammed into the back seat. On one return trip we had three accidents, Barney's bald head cracking the windshield when we rear ended a Buick. Did I mention the cigarette smoke?


    by Oxy Mora on Tue, 04/21/2015 - 12:48pm

    Ironic.

    Cousin Barney was relatively sober.

    He took me up in his small plane when I was 10?

    And he let me fly the damn thing. hahahahahah

    My Grampa was sober all the time. Just a great man.

    Compare our childhood to those who currently live in Syria or Iraq or a number of other countries.

    I aint mad any more.

    But to see my grandchildren living in a different time.

    I can get satisfaction.

    How my son worked or works it out, is amazing to me.

    He is dedicated, much more than I ever was.

    It sounds so trite and certainly his life is not perfect but...

    My son, who went through a lot, loves his wife and his little angels. He really does.

    And he aint goin to drive his family around drunk.

    And neither did I.

    Progress is a step at a time.

    But I can see it, see?

    He is nuts about his family.


    by Richard Day on Wed, 04/22/2015 - 1:25am

    I just saw this piece by Maher.


    by Richard Day on Sat, 05/16/2015 - 7:07pm