***Breaking News***

In the past two weeks naïve voters were shocked to learn that two Republican politicians admitted to having extra-marital affairs.  Senator John Ensign of Nevada and just today Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina careers in politics have unofficially ended because they couldn’t keep their elephant trunks in their own peanut bags.  For a political party that claims to be concerned about the sanctity of marriage, the Republicans seem to have a problem actually respecting the sanctity of marriage. 

At least John Edwards never waived the flag pious religiosity; he was too busy getting it on in the two Americas (one America with his wife and the other with a non-cancer patient hottie).  At least Eliot Spitzer was paying the women (and thereby help the economy).  I mean really.

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s case seems particularly audacious.  Last week he just disappeared without letting his staff or family know where.  To cover for him, his staff said he was taking a break after fighting a fierce battle of the stimulus package.  Then his wife said he was off to “write something.”  Finally, his staff said he was hiking on the Appalachian Trail.  

In fairness, all these things were slightly true.  He wasn’t taking a break from fighting a fierce battle over the stimulus package, but he was taking a break from politics to get his package stimulated.  He wasn’t exactly off to “write something,” but he did write off his chances of running for president in 2012 when he took an exotic va-cay with his girlfriend in Argentina.  And he wasn’t necessarily hiking the Appalachian, but he was in getting touch with nature (human nature, i.e. he likes to hump).

Maybe GOP stands for Grand Old Players.  To which I say, play on, players, play on.  If that is your prerogatives, God Bless ya. Just don’t act like ya’ll are morally superior to us common folk who believe abortion should be legal, gays should be able to marry, stem cell research isn’t that bad, and religion should be a personal choice, not a state one.