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    Parents to fix household budget deficit by cutting child's allowance

    By William K. Wolfrum on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 7:50am | Politics, Humor & Satire

    DES MOINES – Having declared that their current budgetary path is “unsustainable,” Bob & Peggy Thompson of Des Moines today announced that they will be cutting the $1-a-week allowance they give to their 5-year-old child, Jessica.

    “Having gone over our current budget deficit, we have come to the realization that sacrifices will have to be made,” said Bob Thompson, 44. “These cuts may not be popular in the short-term, but are necessary for our household to rein in our spending.”

    The Thompson’s currently are running a $1.7 million yearly deficit. No other cuts outside of Jessica’s allowance were announced.

    While announcing the cuts to young Jessica’s allowance, the Thompson also unveiled a list of budgetary items that are “untouchable,” including: Jet Skis, maintenance of the family bomb shelter, cell phone, satellite television, gun collection, car collection, baseball card collection, masseuse, house cleaner, or anything that “could negatively affect the emotional or physical state” of the two main employers of the household – Bob and Peggy Thompson.

    “What’s important is that Jessica learns to sacrifice for the betterment of the household in general,” said Peggy Thompson, who, like Bob, is a hedge fund manager. “She may not understand now, but it’s for her own good.”

    Reached for comment, Jessica Thompson states she felt the cuts were short-sighted and would inhibit growth.

    “It’s nawt faaaaiiiwwwwwrrrr,” said Jessica Thompson.

    –WKW

    Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

    Topics: 
    Politics
    Humor & Satire

    Comments

    Well, I'd say the Thompson's are true practitioners of Compassionate Conservatism.  Cutting the kid's allowance had to be done.  Anyone can see that.  But they could have also cut health care expenses ( cough medicine, aspirin, bandages). They could buy her hand-me-downs from the thrift store.  They could teach her how to panhandle in the lunch room for stuff the other kids don't eat.  And shoes...don't get me started.

    Kids are nothing but little mini-socialists.  Always looking for a free ride at their parents' expense.


    by TJ on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 8:47am

    Cavaet. I ain't no economist.

    But these two things I just read sound awfully alike

    From your link:

    If enacted into law, the plan would likely force Congress to boost revenue through new tax rules, cut spending and bring down the growth rate of Medicare and Social Security over time.

    From Less Gloom From Dr. Doom; Nouriel Roubini isn't exactly optimistic about housing, the economy and the stock market. But he sounds more upbeat than he did two years ago.
    Forbes Magazine, 02.09.11:


    SF: Would we have been better off without the stimulus? Would the market have come back on its own and forced people to redo their balance sheets and get back on our feet faster?

    Nouriel Roubini: I'm not convinced by those arguments. During the financial crisis demand was falling, [along with] consumption, investment, exports. If there hadn't been a stimulus in the terms of reduction in taxes and increasing spending, this great recession could have turned out to be something more like another Great Depression.

    That doesn't mean that we have to do a stimulus forever. We have to start cutting spending and doing entitlement reform. And eventually we're going to have to also raise taxes. We're not going to be able to fill the gap only on the spending side. Otherwise, down the line we're going to have a train wreck.

    Even the U.S., where actually I see growth close to 3%, I would see at least four potential downside risks. One is high unemployment rates staying with us. Two, the housing and real estate double-dipping. Three, [many] state and local governments are near bankrupt. And four, the fact that we are still doing nothing about our federal deficit.

    Now the bond vigilantes have woken up in Europe. They've not yet woken up in the U.S. But if you keep on running a trillion-dollar budget deficit plus for as far as I can see, long rates could go up.


    by artappraiser on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 10:16am

    Just what I needed. Excellent therapy after a day of reading mind numbing quotes in the news about this ever so trendy obsession of deficit reduction NOW! hysteria.

    Keep the satire coming. It seems to be the antidote to all the nonsense.


    by emerson on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 6:43pm

    The republican way, of course.


    by cmaukonen on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 8:00pm