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    Barack Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize - Conservatives explode like Agent Smith at the end of Matrix

    By William K. Wolfrum on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 7:39am | Politics, Humor & Satire, World Affairs

    UNITED STATES - In a stunning announcement today, U.S. President Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his diplomatic efforts. Immediately following the announcements, Conservatives throughout the United States lost cohesion and exploded, much like the Agent Smith character did at the end of the Matrix.

    “I was sitting next to Jonah Goldberg and Bill Kristol having breakfast,” said an unnamed source. “We heard the news and I looked over to them and all I saw were pixels floating into space.”

    The Nobel Committee awarded Obama for the new “How About You Guys Not Start Any More Wars” category, with special emphasis on Iran. While millions of Americans have celebrated with pride that their President was awarded the prestigious prize, conservatives seemed unable to process the information.

    “This, Van Jones, Jennings, Ayers … ” said Fox News star Glenn Beck, moments before imploding, causing a black hole that for 10 minutes sucked all hate into the area directly into it.

    More on this story as it develops.

    –WKW

    Topics: 
    Politics
    Humor & Satire
    World Affairs

    Comments

    You know, I'm a big Obama fan and everything, but awarding him the Nobel Peace Prize in his first year as President is as bad, if not worse, then expecting him to have cleaned up all of Bush's messes already.


    by Nebton on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 9:04am

    Yeah, this reflects poorly on the Nobel committee more than anything else.  I like that Obama has been outspoken about non-proliferation, even co-sponsoring a non-proliferation bill with Dick Lugar, but being outspoken about the issue alone doesn't seem to warrant the Nobel Peace Prize.  I actually thought Wolfie was pulling one of his usual bait-and-switch routines until I clicked his link.  Maybe the world is just so desensitized to crazy after eight years of Bush that the Nobel committee was ecstatic that we didn't immediately vaporize Iran after they revealed the Qum facility.

    Why not someone like Vandana Shiva?  Or what about William Kamkwamba?


    by DF on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 9:57am

    Maybe they thought that a Muslim born in Kenya getting elected to President of the United States was accomplishment enough? Wink


    by Nebton on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 10:56am

    Maybe they're just trying to bring some class back to the award after giving it to Kissinger.


    by DF on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 11:01am

    Except he's a christian born in the United States.


    by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 4:25pm

    Hi, welcome to the Internets.  You'll be needing this and this.


    by DF on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 4:28pm

    Hmmm. Seems DF and I interpreted this comment differently. I thought the commenter was referring to Kissinger, who was clearly NOT born in the United States. DF apparently thinks the commenter is referring to Obama, and just needs a little adjustment to his snark-o-meter.

    If it's the latter, I apologize for calling you dumb.


    by Orlando on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 4:31pm

    I'm with DF. I don't think Anonymous caught my sarcasm.


    by Nebton on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 4:40pm

    Yeah, to me his comment looks lined up with Neb's.


    by DF on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 4:46pm

    Anonymous, usually I have a high tolerance for right wing commenters. But I believe this might be the dumbest comment ever at Dag. Have you ever read a history book? Or a newspaper? Have you ever heard Kissinger speak? Seriously, visit a library.


    by Orlando on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 4:29pm

    I'm pretty sure the folks in Poland and Georgia are looking on this prize with as jaded an eye as when it was given to Yasser Arafat.

    -

    On top of that, it's like giving LSU the national championship today (they play UF tomorrow) because they INTEND to win that game...and a bunch of others after that.


    by simon (not verified) on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 9:16am

    One thing this award has done is to cast in stark relief those that do not understand the moment. We have the two extremes - the pro-award crowd who think it's great but don't really think about why. - the anti-award crowd who think it's a farce but fail to produce any arguments that would garner higher than a C grade in 9th grade English. Then we have the two middle groups: - the anti-award crowd who have valid arguments. Sometimes they still stoop to insult tossing. - the pro-award crowd that have valid arguments. Sometimes they still stoop to glassy-eyed dreaminess. I fall into the last category and attempt to remain steadfast. This is a fantastic development. Obama has worked hard to bring hundreds of thousands of new people into politics who before couldn't have cared less - they didn't vote at all. A voting populace is not necessarily and informed populace but it's a start. The US is one of (if not THE) most power nation in the world and we set precedents left and right. The fact that our populace had stopped participating in the leadership of the country was fine until the leadership began warmongering, ignoring fact, ignoring science, and ignoring world peace protests. Obama is a breath of fresh air. He uses technology instead of fearing it. He talks to everyone. He uses Youtube. When criticized, he explains his thinking instead of cowardly reversing his opinion. It is amazing to me that we have a President with the will to do what needs to get done. It's fantastic! And Peace Prize folks seem to understand this as well. Now, I would be willing to agree that it may be a little premature but - think of the encouragement it gives the Obama Presidency! It is incredibly difficult to push on against tons of people trying to pull you down. This prize is like a beam of light from on high shining on Obama and encouraging him to push onward. May the willfully ignorant discover their close-minded ways and weep.

    by Darrell (not verified) on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 11:12am

    Now, I would be willing to agree that it may be a little premature but…

    That's my stance. It's like giving a life-time achievement award to a 40-year old. Of course, if they had waited until closer to the end of his first term (I'm hoping there'll be two), people would've accused them of crass politicization. Luckily, no one will accuse them of that now…


    by Nebton on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 11:27am

    Great comment, Darrell. I'm in the pro-award crowd. I'm happy, but I haven't gotten down to processing why I think it's great yet. At the moment, I'm too busy reveling in the delicious reactions of the far right.


    by Orlando on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 2:18pm

    It's incredibly surprising and I am still mulling over what I think about it. But for sure the best part of this morning is imagining Republican heads spinning around a la Linda Blair. Thanks for a more updated image to chew on!


    by Orlando on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 10:53am

    I have to agree with a lot of the senitiments, but I view it as almost a teaching moment. It's so popular in the U.S. to dismiss all other nations and cultures, that we rarely take into account the importance of the U.S. to the world. And the fact is, the world wants to U.S. to be a powerful force for good, rather than what it descended to under Bush. It was more than anti-American sentiment. It was fear of America.

    In a way, perhaps the Nobel committee rewarded American citizens for working to set a new course. Who knows? But in the end, I think Obama's prize is better looked at through a philosophical lens rather than a "he didn't deserve it" one.


    by William K. Wolfrum on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 11:46am

    I'm not sure what you mean by "philosophical lens" here.  Personally, I can't really put much credence in the NPP.  There are plenty of people out there who work tirelessly against incredible odds for peace.  It's not that Obama has done nothing in this capacity, but I think we would both agree that his personal contributions to this effort are only beginning to take shape.  In that sense, the prize has little to do with its sister awards for achievements in fields like physics and chemistry.  It isn't really about a personal achievement in the peace effort at all, especially if we take your view that the award is more about messaging than anything else.

    Plus, it's hard to bring the luster back to your "peace prize" once you give it people like Kissinger and Lê Ðức Thọ (who, to his credit, declined the prize).  Even giving it to someone like Teddy Roosevelt is questionable if the award is really about achievement in the goal of peace.

    They could have finally thrown one Gandhi's way.  Sure, it would have been a bit like giving Scorcese the Oscar for The Departed or the rash of recognition that Bob Dylan has received from the Grammy folks in the last couple of decades, but at least it would offer some clarity as to what the prize is really about.  If it's not about actual accomplishment in the endeavor for peace, then why call it the Peace Prize?

    If it's really about messaging, then whose messaging is it and why should I care?  I'm supposed to care that some elites in Norway like that we elected Obama?  I like that we elected him, too, but that alone warrants a NPP?  I mean, he was nominated less than a month after taking office.  What could the impetus for nominating him possibly have been at that point in time?


    by DF on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 12:13pm

    The NPP itself is based on symbolism. In real terms, why they awarded Obama has the same relevance as why the Academy gave Marisa Tomei an Oscar. It's an award. No one will get fed from it, no one will not die in war today because of it. But it does open dialogue and create discussion. And hopefully, not all that discussion will involve outrage over the fact that many don't believe Obama deserved it.


    by William K. Wolfrum on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 12:31pm

    Well, it is worth about $1.4m, so it's really not correct to say that no one will get fed from it.  I don't know what Obama will do with that money, but it does make you wonder what that sum might do in the hands of someone like Vandana Shiva.

    As a symbol, your comparison to Marisa Tomei's Oscar doesn't do much for it.  Doesn't that pretty much mean that the symbolism is bankrupt?  I thought that the reason people were upset about Tomei's Oscar was that it was perceived to be undeserved, thus diminishing the symbolism of the award - that it stands to signify exceptional achievement.


    by DF on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 12:39pm

    Ok, maybe 200k people will get a cheeseburger or the equivalent. In the U.S., it is and will continue to be little more than a political football, which was the posts overriding theme. Outside of it being a possible barometer of how the rest of the world views Obama & the U.S., it's of very little interest to me. As are all awards given from one group of people to an individual.


    by William K. Wolfrum on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 12:53pm

    I'll admit it's been a while since I bought a cheeseburger, but last time I did they were around 60-70 cents. Are they really $7 now?

    Man, I'm getting old.


    by Nebton on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 12:59pm

    I factored in administrative costs and a nice tip.


    by William K. Wolfrum on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 1:00pm

    Well, I would say that, the predictable conservative freak-out notwithstanding, one should expect it to be a political football when the motivation for awarding it is so clearly political.  Along these lines, it occurs to me that this fits in rather nicely with the current right-wing narrative: Obama, the international celebrity, is honored with a meaningless award by a socialist country simply for being so fabulous.  And it's the same award they gave to Arafat!

    I'm not sure this will have any affect on the way people perceive Obama one way or the other, but it seems to plug right into the current conservative mantra.


    by DF on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 1:18pm

    great points, DF. This doesn't do Obama or the liberal cause any favors. Probably isnt that harmful either. But really, I think everyone is overthinking this one - what has he really accomplished in terms of furthering peace? it's really been negligible, and I just don't understand why the committee wouldn't wait a few years to see how successful the Obama presidency really is in accomplishing its laudable goals.


    by Deadman on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 4:58pm

    I don't usually care much for HuffPo, but I just caught a link to this op-ed by Sen. Bernie Sanders.  It's brief and essentially uses the moment to re-focus attention on Afghanistan.  Reading it, I was hit suddenly and in stark relief by the fact that the Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to the leader of the country with the largest miltary expenditure in the world, a country that is also engaged in the largest current acts of miltarism in the world.  If the prize is a symbol, what does that say about the symbolism?  I think it says either that the symbolism doesn't mean squat or that we've got a hell of a long way to go if we're serious about peace.

    I really, really like that Obama has changed the tone of our foreign policy.  I really like that he believes in diplomacy and is willing to engage with the world multi-laterally.  I really do.  But I don't want the bar to be set by George Bush.  Bush was a low point.  I expect my leaders to use diplomacy.  I expect them to behave responsibly.  In light of this and our blatant miltarism, I have to say that it's hard for me to see why this is justified.  It's not that I think it's terribly consequential either way, but I think it says some things about the world that may be worth considering.


    by DF on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 5:39pm

    In real terms, why they awarded Obama has the same relevance as why the Academy gave Marisa Tomei an Oscar.

    The Prize Committee wants to take Barack Obama back to their hotel room? That's weird.


    by Doctor Cleveland on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 1:28pm

    FWIW, the Drudge Report is pretty priceless right now.  Screencapped for posterity:


    by DF on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 12:58pm

    Lol. I love that Drudge is becoming increasingly shrill totry to catch up with a movement that's taken a decidedly Beckian turn.


    by William K. Wolfrum on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 1:00pm

    Beckett:Beck::Waiting for Godot:Waiting for God?


    by Nebton on Fri, 10/09/2009 - 1:02pm