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Shuts and Failures

by Michael Maiello

Cousin Eddie is not backing down.

by Oxy Mora 9/20/2012 - 11:56 am

I telephoned my cousin, Eddie, who moved down to a large retirement community in Florida. He's a Romney fan and I try to needle him whenever possible. Because of the recent Romney fund raiser tapes I figured I could really get under his skin this time. If there is anyone on government benefits who does not feel like a victim, it is Eddie. He is single, seems to have more spring in his step than a twenty year old, and is dating three widows.

"Hey, Oxy, you're lucky to catch me at home. I got a Fuzzy Face yesterday and have to stay out of the sun for a few days."

"What the hell's that", I asked.

"You, know. Blepharoplasty.", he said.

"Go on."

"Drooping eyelid surgery", Eddie said. "Dr. Fuzzy, as he is called by his nurses, does the procedure and so many people here have had it done that it's become known as the Fuzzy Face. You should try it, Oxy. It'll take ten years off and Medicare pays for it. Come on down, play some golf and I'll take you over to the clinic and introduce you."

"Medicare", I shouted, "What a joke!".

"We earned it", Eddie said, "But, Oxy", he advised, "don't just blunder into a Doc's office and say you want blepharoplasty. You first have to complain about your eyesight and after they check everything else they'll probably suggest an eyelid lift."

I was so incensed by all these Seniors getting cosmetic surgery from Medicare that I had to compose myself before popping the question about the secret fund raiser tapes.

"So, Eddie, your boy Romney there kind of peed in the corner of his own bedroom with his secret fund raising speech, didn't he? He essentially called you a free loader, seeing as how you're living off Social Security, Medicare and Veterans benefits."

"Oxy, don't give me that crap. Romney's already debunked the libs who criticized him. It was a fund raiser for God's sake. Naturally he's going to say whatever it takes to persuade the donors. Anybody else would do the same, like Obama---he didn't do so well when he was secretly taped, now, did he?"

Eddie then expounded on his stable of widows and we had a laugh or two about one gal from our high school whose third husband died last year--all of them from accute gastroenteritis. My mind made a feeble attempt to resurrect my Romney rant around the thoughts of blepharoplasy, gastroenteritis and senior sex---but the wind had been taken out of my sails.

I hung up the phone and thought to myself---I guess I'll never understand Republicans. If sixty minutes of Romney put-down humor and insults to the elderly would not turn around one single Senior vote in Florida, what would? Perhaps if Romney were elected and the Seniors all went on vouchers and had to pay for their own damned droopy eyelid surgery, they'd think twice about voting for another Republican. Then again, I doubt it..

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Disclaimer. "Dr. Fuzzy" is a fictional character. Any reference to any actual Medicare providers living or dead in the state of Florida who may perform multitudes of debatable Medicare procedures is strictly accidental.

by Oxy Mora 9/20/2012 - 12:55 pm

Yup, your cousin Eddie is hanging onto his good guy ID card that the Republicans gave him, for all it's worth.

Too bad it's a fake.

I don't know what would make cousin Eddie change his mind. Maybe telling him you're pretty mad about the Medicare fraud, and that taking people's tax money for an eyelid lift that he should have paid for himself if he wanted one, might wake him up....

by erica20 9/20/2012 - 1:17 pm
I think to really reach cousin E. Oxy will need to drop a dime on Fuzzy, referencing cousin E as a co-conspirator. Tense times anticipated at next Thanksgiving.
by jollyroger 9/20/2012 - 4:17 pm (re: erica20)

Duplicate, sorry.

by erica20 9/20/2012 - 1:19 pm

Here's a perfect expression of the thinking, the Romney's & Eddie's et al,  my bold:

Fighting to end President Obama's war on coal
By Reps. Shelley Moore Capito (R-W.Va.) and Bill Johnson (R-Ohio) - The Hill Op-ed, 09/20/12 03:18 PM ET

President Obama’s war on coal is real. Don’t believe us? Come to Brilliant, Ohio or Clay, West Virginia and we’ll show you coal mines that were closed as a result of President Obama’s assault on hardworking Americans who work in the coal industry. Coal is a cheap, abundant, and reliable source of power. Almost 90% of Ohio’s power comes from coal and just across the Ohio River in West Virginia, over 95% of its power comes from coal. Needless to say, coal plays a vital role in not only powering the Buckeye and Mountain states, but coal generates nearly half of America’s electricity. So why would President Obama want to destroy such a vital part of America’s economy?

President Obama’s war on coal is nothing new. Even before President Obama took the oath of office, he was pretty clear with his plans for America’s coal industry. In 2008, then-candidate Obama said to the San Francisco Chronicle, “So if somebody wants to build a coal-powered plant, they can. It’s just that it will bankrupt them.” If there’s one thing we can say about the Obama Administration, when it comes to assaulting the coal industry, its actions match its words.

Since taking office, President Obama and his extreme EPA have issued new rules and regulations that are crippling the coal industry In the weeks following President Obama’s inauguration, his administration was already in the process of rewriting the Stream Buffer Zone Rule – a rule that took 5 years to codify under the previous administration[....]

See, here's an example of the narrative,  how it works when done skillfully, that of  how government kills good paying jobs for hardworking people furnished by private business (those people who were making good pay and paying taxes and can't no more, because of government purposefully killing businesses.) That government regulations kill the economy and the good jobs .It's all cut, dried, and delivered in a very fancy looking package with lots of references to policy, laws, and quotes from Obama. Not just general non-specific ranting like from Mitt . And need I point out that this narrative is conveniently happening in swing states? wink

by artappraiser 9/21/2012 - 4:31 am

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