quinn esq's picture

    For Crash Fans Only (Sex + Violence)

    By quinn esq on Thu, 10/02/2008 - 7:06pm |
    Hey, fellow Crash fans. 

    Just dropped by to say hi. Gotta say, I appreciate the way y'all are givin my Cronenberg jones some Main Street juice. Two thumbs - straight to the socket.

    Seriously though. I think we all like it better when a good Crash reaches outta that glowing screen & real-world grabs ya, eh? Video-only... the thrill is gone. But when it's a co-worker twitchin'? 

    Bitchin'.

    Me? I can't hardly wait. Looks like the big One to me baby. Bring it, I say. And apparently, a lot of other people are feelin' it too. Like, the Big 3 have gotten right on-board, and who better? They're crashing - big time. Hummer-style. Get this. Seems a lotta wannabe buyers are gettin' the showroom shuffle, hittin' the sales desks, al revved up & ready to go, and then the carco's can't come up with the credit. 40% of them wannabe buyers are walkin' away on their Keds, 'steada coolin' downtown in a new K-car. 

    Which is fine with me. 'Cause I'm only really into see the quality stuff crash. Beemers. Lexus. You ever seen a Lamborghini taste it? Investment bankers in their finest - that's what I like to see. White shoes, soles up.

    Can you feel it? I can feel it.

    Which is, I know, the way a lot of you see it. You want quality crash - and quality only. I know it gives me that little extra je ne sais. Like the Doc said, "Want wood? Just connect the self-righteous bone to the ultra-violence bone."

    Just the other day, I read that 1/3 of municipal infrastructure projects are on hold. Can't get credit. Seems they aren't willing to build that bridge @10% annual. Which is GREAT NEWS!!!! FOR US CRASH LOVERS!!! 'Cause nothing gets me going like an old bridge. Better than tornado-chasing or hurricane-watching. 

    Wet yet? 

    And soon, it won't matter who's on the road. 'Cause all that's gonna be left is quality... or vintage. There'll be lots more pedestrians too, which always boosts the odds. More pissed off punks behind the wheel, lookin' for a way out. More of the freshly-evicted, wandering donuts, with that perfect glaze. Dazed & confused? Meet enraged traffic. 

    Yep, like you, I was worried this Crash would stay purely virtual - LED-only. But thanks to the Miracle of Modern Malice, I think this show's on the road. And not just to Broadway.

    Main Street. Here we come.

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