• Global file usage

                            THE AQUA BUDDHA MAN

"They told me their god was 'Aqua Buddha' and that I needed to bow down and worship him," the woman recalls. "They blindfolded me and made me bow down to 'Aqua Buddha' in the creek. I had to say, 'I worship you Aqua Buddha, I worship you.' ...

The story is almost too bizarre to digest in full -- from the blindfolded, pot-infused kidnapping to the weird worship of the Aqua Buddha deity. And, in that respect, it's important to note that it was delivered via anonymous attribution.

Curly Paul's response to this report of a cult involving a blue green Buddha: "During my time at Baylor, I competed on the swim team and was an active member of Young Conservatives of Texas."

The YCT was merely a cover for the greatest belief system even participated in by man!!!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/09/rand-paul-abducted-female_n_675766.html

There's something about an Aqua Buddha Man!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eAs7DM6u_Q

AQUA BUDDHA SPEAKS:

REJOICE at the glad tidings! The Aqua Buddha has found the root of all evil; he has shown us the way of salvation. The Buddha dispels the illusions of our mind and redeems us from the terror of 'THE LOSERS'.

The Aqua Buddha shuns the weary and sorrow-laden; he seeks only those who are healthy and vibrant and not broken down under the burden of life.

He gives us courage to ignore the weak when they seek sustenance from the strong and victorious; these vampires merely desire to suck the life blood from you and detract from your successes.

Beware of those who suffer from the tribulations of life, who have to struggle and endure, who yearn for a helping hand.  For I am the way, the life and the truth, rejoice at these glad tidings!

To be truly successful and aware of the truths of the Almighty Aqua Buddha you must refrain from finding a way to render balm for the wounded, and or bread for the hungry; or water for the thirsty, for those that attempt these things are the LEFT, the LEFT IN DESPAIR.

Then once your coffers are filled with the gold of victory, thou shalt move to the gated community and hire guards to protect your womenfolk. (Make sure you pay the guards enough money and stuff or you might regret it.)

There is light for those who find themselves in darkness, and there is inexhaustible blessing for the upright.

Heal your own wounds, fill your own hunger, quench your own thirst; rest when you have completed your daily tasks and worry not for those LEFT WING LOSERS.

Trust in truth, You who love the truth, for the kingdom of righteousness and THE RIGHT is founded upon earth. The darkness entailed in losing is dispelled by the light of winning. We can see our way and take firm and certain steps. And these sacred step are:

Red baiting : When confronted with a policy, idea, party, elected official, or even person you disagree, simply call them a Socialist, Marxist, or Communist.

Ad hominem attacks : Next time you come across a Liberal Communist Socialist Marxist (see rule #1) and have limited success, resort to rule #2, the old tried and true ad hominem argument. Are you at a loss of words during a debate about torture, no problem, just call them "traitors"... Want to debate about taxes, easy, just accuse the liberal in question of being lazy and wanting welfare.
Some of the best ad hominem arguments are the ones we used in grade school.

Political jijutsu better known as "I know what you are, but what am I" argument. ...Another form of deflection is the "look your shoes are untied" Simply move the subject to a completely different subject.

Race bait: Nothing gets a crowd going like some good ole race baiting.

Socratic method for dummies : Socrates had a method of debating, this is the dummies version. 1 + 1 +1 = 3, therefore 1 = 3. Begin your argument by finding commonalities among unrelated objects for the purpose of linking them in the end. Example. Socialists are anti war, therefore anyone who is anti war is a Socialist. 

Build a strawman, and build him tall :.. Instead of arguing the merits of the recent immigration law, make the opponents defend open borders and support for lawless illegal immigrants, even though they never claimed to support such things.

To err is human, to contradict is divine : Complain constantly about big government, yet demand that big government do something about the oil spill, do something about illegal immigrants, do something about terrorists, do something about the economy do something about Spanish signs in public, do something about abortion.

Remember GOP talking points and repeat over and over again.

When you are caught in a lie, or with your fingers in the cookie jar simply say: I kid, I kid. Claim it was taken out of context or a joke.

Or cry like a baby and play the victim: When all else fails pull this baby out, no pun intended. This is usually the last rule to employ as it makes you look pathetic, but what the hell, you have nothing else to lose, except your self respect.
Learn these and learn them well grasshopper.

The Aqua Buddha has revealed the truth. The truth cures our diseases and redeems us from perdition; the truth strengthens us in life and fills our coffers with gold; the truth alone can conquer the evils of compassion and empathy. Rejoice at the glad tidings!

As the Aqua Buddha says:

If your heart is giving out, buy a new pump. (Just make sure you have purchased your way to the top of the pump list in case there has been increased demand.)

And the Aqua Buddha demands adoration and worship.

Every Whitsunday thou shalt find a coed and thou shalt bind her feet and bind her hands and duct tape her mouth. And thou shalt toss her in thy carriage compartment and take her to the desert where she shall bow to her master and pray to her master:

THE AQUA BUDDHA MAN

Go in peace and happiness and make sure you keep receipts when you purchase with cash so that thy tax attorneys can properly battle the evil IRS warriors.

http://www.sacred-texts.com/bud/btg/btg02.htm