Book of the Month

tmccarthy0's picture

Democrat Like Me

For years the idea haunted me, if a Republican became a Democrat in the deep North what adjustments would she have to make?

And that is how it began, that fateful day in 1984 was the day I decided to infiltrate the Democratic party and turn them all into Liberal Republicans! I knew I could do it if I could just find a way to fit in first, to blend in, so I went to the doctor's office for some help.

"Hey Doc", I said to him after he forced me on that scale again, why do they always want to know how much I weigh? "Hey T", he replied, we were old friends since the heady days of Watergate. "Doc, I want to attempt to infiltrate the Democratic Party and turn them into a corporatist Republican lite party. I think I can do it, if I try very, very hard. How can I do this?"

He laughed and then smirked at me, he said, "Well first of all you need to quit shopping at Brooks Brothers, cause that totally doesn't fit for a Democrat, I think you need to shop at vintage stores from now on, and find some bell bottom jeans with embroidery on them, preferably flowers and sunshine and stuff, it will make you seem whimsical and egalitarian."

I was kind of happy that I had to shop for my newest endeavor, although I wasn't totally into this Vintage Store BS but if I had to buy some crappy hippy clothes then I would, it is easier to punch them if you look like them.

So I thought I should find out about the party I was infiltrating so I decided I would study hard at the virtual knee of one James "Corporal Cueball" Carville. I saw him one night on CNN, and thought he would be the perfect teacher for me.   So I studied Carville, and knew I was about to become a superstar in the Democratic Party, superstardom leads to apparatchikdom too and that was my ultimate goal, become an apparatchik, it would make me feel like I had more control over all things Democratic and I could lead them myself to Republicanism, which ultimately was my goal, to make sure Democrats were just Republicans without the backbone.

My first effort was to make them, the Democrats, think that I took my new party seriously, when really I was just a shill for my corporate, tribal overlords. This fact was discovered by the arch nemesis to all corporate shills like myself, one Glenn Greenwald. He is a superstar this Greenwald guy, he has absolutely no connection to corporate overlords. His CATO membership is just a ruse, and his white papers for them, just a job, but he isn't affected at all by these things, as he isn't a sell out in anyway shape or form, and he never ever lets the corporate will beat him down, he fights it all the time.  He has no professional connection to corporate overlords and he is merely out for America the Beautiful. Greenwald is awesome in his ability ferret out those of us who have sold out America to the highest bidder. Working with the Koch is like waving an American flag, working with the Democrats is like working for Satan.

So my plan has worked, the health care bill we have currently, was my plan from the beginning, to sell out America by forcing them to have access to health insurance.  It will evolve into nothing that can benefit anyone really. States will not take the matter into their own hands to search for the best answer for their citizens either.  Certainly places like Minnesota (status of the Act), California, ( LWV, support of California OneCare), Illinois, Pennsylvania, Montana, (more Montana analysis) Massachusetts and Vermont have not taken the new law and tried to make it beneficial for their own citizens. They have succumbed to the dead-end health reform, the one that only supports insurance companies and is terrible for the people!

My mission is complete and soon I am sure I will be promoted head apparatchik, instead of just being referred to as the Greatest Living Democrat.

Hey Democrats consider yourselves Pwned.

Yes this is crossposted at TheAngriestLiberal

Better to be called an Independent than be broad brushed and humiliated. 

Cart before the horse?

With no jobs = no tax base

No tax base = no healthcare.

Whose going to pull the financing vehicle   cart?

Okay, I have been thinking of this in terms of music.

The dems would be represented by this gem:

Now, of course we know that the singer is not really present and that Hepburn could not sing very well.

The repubs, even though they pray a lot in public would be more like:

 

Now independents? I am not sure but:

 

The Dems--you mean sittin still until Spring creeps over me window sill--that's what I'm afraid of.

Look Oxy, everybody should be safe in a room somewhere, far away from the cold nite air with food stamps...hahahahahah

FDR or Eleanor said that. hahahahaha

repubs think: FUCK YOU, I STOLE ALL THIS THRU REAL FINE THINKIN AND WAS NEVER CAUGHT AND YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY OF IT!

Independents think...well they really do not feel they have to think.

They just wish to chime in at Thanksgiving Day dinners with a pretend:

Well, I am not convinced! ha

HA...Skeeter Davis. The ultimate cross over artist. Made it with that song on both the Country and POP charts.

Nice Dick, I would respond this way to your always smart commentary:

This is the greatest song in the history of Rock and Roll, suck it Stairway to Heaven, but I will say the Rain Song is a close second.

 

 

My always smart commentary? Hahahahahahah

I do believe that there is no difference between the effects of cheap whiskey and Jameson; but the taste....oh the taste!

I always loved this RS extra but I still think Gimme Shelter is the best!

This has nothing to do with anything but I ran 50-70 miles a week for 15 years. Now for 5 or 8 of those years I had my walk man.

I recall hitting my third lake (for a 12 miler) on a Monday nite in a ten below environment. It was soooooooo very awesome (assuming you were covered properly) and the moon....the moon looked so wonderful and everything was still. And just as I hit that moment in time and space, my Walkman hit Gimme Shelter and I reached Nirvana. And I shall never forget that moment as long as I live!

Dylan's Gimme Shelter From the Storm is magnificent. But it was Gimme Shelter that just hit me at the right time in the right place.

I will end with Gimme Shelter, but Shaw's Pygmalion as a musical (which he would have vetoed) encapsulates all that is good as far as the aims of the Left. As long as one has food stamps. Hahahahaha

I just know that a dem might ask for a bill to be passed to ensure that all of America might be given shelter from the storm.

And the repubs will block this measure; they will block this measure goosestepping in time; they will block this measure calling it communism.

It will never be different. It will continue forever.

But GIMME SHELTER is perhaps the greatest Rock music ever made!

The end. (except of course)

 

Not That... We Can't disagree you are ruining my plans for the ultimate takeover. Because after my takeover the Democratic Party reaches completion Dick I am coming for your blog. It's true... and once that takeover is complete I will be moving on to other liberal bloggers blogs and take their stuff over too. I'll do what it takes to complete my mission.

Progressives.

A Democrat Like You would have been called a republican in the 1960s.

I am the Manchurian. I was born in 1962, and the plan was set then, I would be a Republican officially, but undercover. My programming was set early on, I would infiltrate the Democrats, as I mentioned above, it's almost like you really didn't read the essay at all, but I'll explain it again. It would end wonderfully by culminating in a Health Care bill, that would ruin Democrats forevah, for delivering the beginning of a Universal Health Care System. Hah!  I told you I even quit shopping at Brooks Brothers to blend in, and that was my beginning, did you read this or not? It was a plan for the ages. And my parents were very proud they could dedicate my life to bringing down an entire party.  Like I said above, Democrats you've been pwnd!

Ah, I get it. Condensed version.

Kowloon, 1984? You were under cover as a ferry boat ticket taker. I was going on shore leave from a U.S. Navy APA anchored in Hong Kong Harbor. My passport went missing....  

Yes, but you only briefly noticed me from the side of your eye, and you never looked back. I blended right into the crowd, it was easy, if there is one thing I know in Kowloon it is the back way to Nathan Rd from the ferry terminal. Once I arrived there I was safe, no one except maybe Charlie Chan himself, could ever find me, I switched back to my Brooks Brothers garb, and made my way to the Peninsula Hotel for High Tea.

No but I did see you. A naval intelligence officer is trained to always look at shoes, now you didn't change into Brooks Bros. shoes, did you, cause you didn't have enough time. But I couldn't stomach that damned tea.

I can't believe you noticed these.

I should have gone with this look:

fire ant?

Obamas song 

Don't primary me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8MYsii4DZY

 

I'm losing you, someones taking my place (someone is the banker class)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xg3HwUGxaIY

Latest Comments