"Pathetic drama" is so on the money Oleeb. Yours is the only article I've read on this subject and the only one I will read. It's embarrassing for everyone involved and everyone who has to hear about it.

As somebody who had a passionate mid-life crisis during which I found a soul-mate, I can say that there is, in retrospect, something terribly mundane about the process after it's over. There was some great value in the crisis and the regeneration I found in that soul-mate, yet it would have been disastrous to implement the wild schemes we conjured up, especially in the first months. Later, when I heard other men talking about their crises, I was amazed at how similar the stories and the passions were and at how often, when those men left their wives and families, the change turned out poorly. I won't say that I might not surrender if I had an opportunity for passionate engagement now at age 60; I doubt, though, that I would consider it a life-changing event that would hold the secrets of the universe.

Despite all of his hypocrisy, seeing he is a 'christian' and all, and being someone whose political views I am in total opposition to, I kinda feel sorry for him.

I put politics aside in cases like this and view it as an empathetic human being. I agree oleeb his whole world, probably seems like the whole universe to him, is crashing down all around him. He had built a web of lies around himself and was probably living in total denial that his behavior would ever become a public problem.

He is a flesh and blood passionate human being. For whatever reason the passion no longer existed between he and his wife so he found someone who could fill that void.

Earlier this week I think Josh posted something along the lines of "Go, be with her". He should take that advice. Resign his Governorship, get the divorce and hop the first flight for Argentina. At this point with his marriage and career in total ruins that might be the only thing that will save him from the abyss.

Christ, what do you think Beemers are for?

My feeling on Sanford is that he has built this Christian bubble around him in which he bares his soul and all is forgiven. I don't think he understand how the rest of us see him. He is still under the impression that this is going to blow over.

I know nothing of his wife, but no one is taking into account that she could be a holly terror, literally. I am not suggesting she is, but if she were it might explain his callous 'soul mate' talk. Backlash of a free man. It's just too bad his kids are caught in the middle. I would love to hear someone explain how straight marriage isn't eroding family values in this family.

hhahahahaha goooooooooooood for you Libertine.

You have a good one. ha!!!

Wow, so if his wife were the Bitch From Hell, it would somehow EXCUSE his disrespecting her publicly??? I figure he has now poisoned whatever journey he thought he was on with his utter narcissism. Their SONS have now heard him behave that way toward his wife and their mother. Yuk, and double yuk. He should have checked into a sanitorium or rehab to have his meltdown. And he should get his boys into counseling, NOT with sanford's "spiritual advisor."
And, just as an aside, were sanford go to be with ms. maria, their love might pale without the secretive-liason factor.

Perhaps you are right but it is hard to know what, exactly, is going on. We are hearing voluminously from him but don't really know the rest of the dynamics. Such things are necessarily complicated. For example, look at how it is clear he wasn't telling the whole truth between first confession and a few days later. I'm withholding my empathy because I am not sure what I would be empathizing with. Sure, it could be that he should chuck it all and go to Argentina, but we don't have the vaguest idea about whether she feels that or if, for her, it was just a passionate affair. In fact, we don't really know anything at all (and shouldn't). What we do know is that a middle aged man in a prominent position seems to be bereft of any good judgment and has been spinning a complicated, very self-focused tale. The point is nobody really knows what the hell is going on beyond Sanford self-destructing and also destroying his marriage and his family. It could be love or it could just as well be nothing but an unrealistic, near psychotic break caused by his fears of growing old and impotent.

I've never been in a situation like the one Sanford finds himself in but I imagine that he really did travel to Argentina to break it off with his paramour. "Mistress" makes it sound like he was plying her with cash or diamonds or something.

Sanford is such a maverick that he evaded security protection ALL TIME. He never dreamed that such a slow news week would pick up on the law enforcement good ole boys lookin' for him or Heartbeat-Away-Andre-Bauer kvetching about the Governor's whereabouts.

I'm not a fan of the Governor's, but this dustup gives more dimension to his one-note personality. I hate that this sordid story has been played out in public and has caused so much anguish for his family.

I wouldn't chalk up this debacle to a midlife crisis. I think the party in his pants is real, and he will end up with his paramour.

Orlando -- please save your sympathetic sensibilities for someone actually worthy of them, and of your integrity.
Mark Sanford is a tonedeaf, sensate someone who is more in love with the idea of a sweeping, epic love than he is a person capable of feeling those emotions. Witness his "soul mate" statements in contrast to his total disregard for Jenny -- as someone he could "try to fall in love with again" and his reference to his children as "those children" rather than "my children."
There is an archetypal southern male Mark personifies: he who has arrested emotional and sexual development (perhaps as a result of all-male education? or not?)); he, the son of a strong man who died too early, who conforms to the "values" of whatever Alpha Male served(s) as his mentor; and he who does not have a fucking clue about what really matters, though he greedily adopts a value system (in Mark's case, Christian fundamentalism) because it seems to anchor, or solidify his own amorphous, amoeba-like meanderings.
End of rant. Maybe.

I feel that same kind of sympathy but the deeper he digs the hole for himself the less sympathy I have and the more horror if that's the right description.

What I feel for Sanford is more like pity. I don't absolve him of responsibility--or of hypocrisy. But don't you find it the least bit sad that men, and women, are forced into archetypes that are impossible to live up to?

He may be everything you said. But if so, what a sad life he must lead, trying so hard to live up to his own version of success, insisting that he knows how others should lead their lives to compensate for his own insecurity, and utterly unable to step outside of himself--even for a second--to see how his actions and statements continue to cause pain to those he should be closest too. The fact that he's doing it in public is horrible.

True, it is the opposite of love with Spitzer. I was just musing on the similarities of these epically bad choices.

If I'd heard that soulmate comment from my husband, I would have called the locksmiths.

Orlando -- the sad life is led, not by Mark and his stunted fellows, but by the women and children who love and trust in his kind. Because he (they) yearn(s) only, really, for an Alpha Male. And in the process of that yearning, he/they totally denigrate and dismiss the WOMEN who held/hold the fort in the alpha male's absence. In fact they resent them. What right does this female have to control the purse strings, the property.... his rightful legacy???? His mother may be a symbol of authority who must be called "Ma'am" but she is also the one who, perhaps because of that convention to ostensibly honor, must be outwitted and rebelled against and TRIUMPHED OVER.
Hello Freud.
Therefore, the most important question a prospective mate of this man can ask is: "how do/did you feel about your mother?" Because as hackneyed as it may be, if his feelings about his mother are unresolved, he will choose a wife who has the same power, -- morally and perhaps financially --- except that she is young enough and naive enough not to see the equation. Ergo. Mr. Arrested Development has the advantage, in that he already knows what the unspoken game is, and he already has some honed skills to win it, however under the table.
It is no surprise to me, at all, in hindsight, that the Sanfords are where they are in relation to each other. Jenny is a we-try-harder-like-Avis kinda woman, who gave her all, in every department -- money, political insight, four children -- to please Mark, to give him what she thought he wanted. But, unfortunately, all that did, in Mark's eyes, was to align her with his own nemesis, his mother --- or her archetypal sisters, the matriarchs of the south who have held title, at least metaphorically, since the Civil War. What Mark wants now, as he wanted when he met Jenny, is a rebellious partner to flaunt recognized authority.
And, therefore, for all his TMI confessions, he still has not come clean. Because he is not, imo, rhapsodically in love with Maria. But he is unwilling to take responsibility for his actions and, therefore, a divorce, should it come, must be Jenny's decision, so that he may be the soulful victim of passion, rather than the remorseless strategizer of displacing blame.
In my humble opinion.

I don't think it's just politicians. The difference here is that we hear about it. I feel certain many men have similarly outrageous things to say and that many of them receive the treatment you describe but that many others, perhaps adding to the tragic circumstances receive the sort of reaction Sanford seems to be getting from his wife which is angry, but willing to forgive. I cannot even imagine uttering the kinds of things this guy has been saying and still having any hope of living to the end of the week let alone reconciling with one's wife!

You may be right. We may never know the full story, but we the part of the story we already know is most certainly incomplete. I do think that, if anything, despite the ongoing willingness to forgive him apparently for the sake of the children, is turning out to be the only directly involved person who garners respect.

Here's the deal...The Sanford situation is played out by many, many families all over the country every day. This one just happens to be taking place on the public stage. Had they been able to deal with it in private, they may have been able to get through it, family intact, and I suppose it is still possible that they may survive anyway. Many women will forgive the most bizarre behavior to keep their families intact.

I don't pretend to understand what it is that allows men (and I suppose the rare woman here and there) to build their happiness on the backs of their children's misery. As far as I'm concerned, he's a piece of crap, but he is Jenny's piece of crap, and she gets to decide what to do with him. In all likelihood, she knows him better than he knows himself right now, and only she can know if there is something there worth saving.

His constituents have the right to decide if he is fit to continue to hold office. The rest of us ought to attempt to divert our gaze, but like a train wreck, it's hard to do.

What is so hard to fathom is that right in the middle of this crisis, instead of calling a friend or a therapist, he decides to share it all with the AP. Why in the world would he call the press at a time like that??

Another point. Somewhere I was reading that S. Carolina is not a no-fault divorce state. The more he babbles, the more Jennifer amasses marital assets on her side in the event of a divorce. So without any knowledge whatsoever of her feelings, I wonder if she is doing this "I'll take him back" routine either for future assets or for future career choices, such as Gov. of S. Carolina (there is a movement trying to do just that).

Last point. The Gov and his wife and kids are headed to Hobe Sound, Fl this weekend to spend the holiday with her parents. To me, this comes in second only to calling the AP for dumb things to do to get your shit together. I'm sure her parents are real enamored with him right now and it will just be a lovely 4th of July. Fireworks and all.

I apologize. I should have acknowledged you in my point about the archetype because you made it first and are better qualified to have done so. Thank you for being so polite.

I thought about appending my comment to the second half of your "rant" (I didn't consider it so, by the way), but decided not to because I wasn't trying to expand on your observation, but make a parallel one. Clearly we are of like mind on this subject.

Wendy, dear, my apology for intruding on your conversaton. But your comment, alas, is not showing up!

Did you perhaps "preview" but forget to actually "publish"? Been there. Done that!

I am so distressed that you, and others, have been wafted off into the ether, following efforts and heartfelt emotion.

Please, try again, if you dare.

Oleeb, this is the best thing I have seen written about Sanford.

Doesn't it strike anyone else as curious, to say the least, that the object of Sanford's affections could be a blow up doll, for all that we have seen or heard about her? He seems to view her as such a doll, put there for his convenience, when he feels the need. Nothing I have seen would indicate that "Maria" is a real person. As far as I have read, she may be single, married, living with a huge family, living alone, a nun, or, just a blow up doll. I can't remember ever seeing such a one sided romance being given so much attention.

As far as my own feelings are concerned, so far all I feel is amusement. Sorry, that may well be a fatal flaw in my own persona.

Oh you both done great! And I feel for all the people in SC. It is a shame that a great place like SC has to suffer this extreme foolishness.