Joe Wood's picture

    My Humble Diary Entry

    This morning, I awoke at 10 AM.  I dressed quickly, styled my hair in pigtails, and set off.

    Passed a bright pink tree in bloom.  Touched the petals lightly, as I would a pet dog.

    Arrived at thrift store #1, and found nothing.  Walked past many people who stared at me.  I pretended not to notice, nor care. 

    Saw Marine Corps Dress Uniform (Blue trimmed in Red and Gold) in store window.  Stared at it a bit, then got lost in my own thoughts.

    At end of two strip malls worth of stores, there is a Goodwill.  Went in.  Found rather large two ft Indian statue, like the ones that used to be in old bars when you walk in.  Circa 1969, Chalkware.  $10. 

    Nice. 

    Walked around with it cradled in my arms, and took it home. 

    Many more people stared. 

    Changed clothing.  Changed hairstyle. 

    (Thought perhaps I could trick the people at the Thrift stores that I had a twin. Thus enabling me to visit many more times in one day, and also to add mystery.)

    Round 2.  Walked past thrift stores to local Burger King.  Ordered my usual; Double Cheeseburger plain with ketchup and Mayo only.  Large Diet Coke.  (Sorry fc.)  Then, as usual, tasted food in my mouth--then, whilst holding a napkin, emitted said food from orifice in a quick fan motion, like I was just wiping my mouth.  Hopefully no one sees, but I'm rather good at it. 

    Voila.  Like I never ate.

    Walked to my Grandma's house.  Well, apt.  Sat, and talked about my grandfather.  She gave me a Dr. Pepper.

    Then, I walk back to thrift store #2.  No luck, but a few quizzical looks.  "Wait, didn't he have a red shirt on earlier, and glasses?" "Is that the same guy?"

    but then, at the other store, jackpot; an old wooden hand shaped sign from the 40s, pointing the way to the incribed "CANNED FOOD AND COFFEE."  Price for the sign: 80 cents...  Cool.

    So, as I walked with the large wooden hand, looking like one of those guys who just left a Cardinals game--again many stares and smiles.  I guess I should just get used to it.

    Later on in the evening, I walked to a local Long John Silvers.  As I ate--and swallowed--my 6 hushpuppies, I looked out the window and watched the sun set in pink, violet, and blue.  As I left, I noticed the large bell mounted by the door, which said "Ring the Bell, if we did well!"  So, of course, I rang the bell three times as loudly as fucking possible, to the amusement and start of all therein.

    I then found a spot along Coldwater Creek to find occasion to sit with my pocketknife a craft my son a bow from a medium sized tree branch.  I must have been a sight as ten minutes later I was shooting arrows across the park, in front of the concerned white people.

     

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