I have been clean and sober for just over a month now and have made the commitment to travel down the recovery path once again.  Nearly a decade ago I had tried this before and after a couple of years of a week here and a month there I was able to achieve about a year of continuous sobriety before going "back out."  Consequently I saw new year arrive last night sober for just the second time in some thirty five years (except for those times I had fallen asleep before the midnight hour).

I don't bring this up seeking some kind of congratulations (or pity), nor to wag my finger at all those out there who enjoy their libations in whatever preferred form.  The reason I bring this up can be seen in the word "libation" itself. While we now use the word to merely describe any of the intoxicating beverages (and other substances) we consume or the consuming of such, it originally referred to the pouring of a liquid offering as a religious ritual or the liquid so poured.  Like the word libation, our celebrations have tended to lose their role to help orientate us in the world once the event is over.  They have become just merely another event in which we participate. 

Herbert Blau wrote in Taking Up the Bodies:

We lack the ritual forms with the clear events; when we have the clear events we distrust the forms.

This is not some attack on the secularization of our society.  I am not bemoaning how so many people have turned their back on organized religions.  This has nothing to do with religion at all, although it may involve religious beliefs for some. 

What this is about is liminality or, rather, the lack of liminality in our society.  Specifically those times when we consciously seek those psychological, and for some metaphysical, subjective state of being on the threshold of or between two different existential planes. Consequently, this subjective state of being is "characterized by the dislocation of established structures, the reversal of hierarchies, and uncertainty regarding the continuity of tradition and future outcomes."

Jean Paul Sartre wrote of such a state of being - referring to it as nausea - arising as a mere consequence of modern world, but mentioned above I speaking of those time when we consciously seek them.  And as a general rule we seek these states of being through some ritual form.

Although Arnold Van Gennep distinguished between those forms that resulted in a change of status for an individual or social group, and those that signified transitions in the passage of time, in both cases these rituals are formally dealing with some transformation to which the individual(s) are connected.   As such then the ritual was a means, in part, to shape the inner life and tie together of thought and experience in the context of that transformation.

In this light, we can see our New Year celebrations as such a ritual - a moment when we acknowledge the passage of time, how we and our communities have changed and where we going in the coming year.  The point is that culturally speaking, those celebrations in which we participate, the means through which we reflect on the past and coming year, are conducted in such a way to avoid the state of being associated with liminality.  We as a society [yes there a many people who demonstrate the exception to the rule] gravitate to best ten lists of the best viral videos or worst dressed on the red carpet, new year resolutions, and drinking heavily into the lead up to the countdown to midnight.

Herbert Blau, near the conclusion of Taking Up the Bodies, wrote:

A mere peaceful coexistence on the level of the polluted earth is still the task of scoundrels, at the dubious end of ideology, at the possible end of history, when our lives are still dominated (incredibly) by the prospect of actual disappearance.  All theater comes against the inevitability of disappearance from the struggle to appear. The only theater worth seeing - that can be seen rather than stared through -- is that which struggles to appear.  The rest is all bad makeup.

Although Blau is primarily concerned with the theater, what he says about theater can be applied (as Blau would argue) not only to any art form and those who create or engage it, but also to all the ritual forms (and yes a theatrical performance is a ritual) in society.  The struggle to appear can be understood as that effort to emerge from a liminal condition, a condition consciously chosen - to re-establish the "I" and one's place in the world, and, thus, one's relationship with that world, whether that includes God or not.  As related on Wikipedia:

One's sense of identity dissolves to some extent, bringing about disorientation, but also the possibility of new perspectives. [Victor] Turner posits that, if liminality is regarded as a time and place of withdrawal from normal modes of social action, it potentially can be seen as a period of scrutiny for central values and axioms of the culture where it occurs- one where normal limits to thought, self-understanding, and behavior are undone. In such situations, “the very structure of society [is] temporarily suspended”

When we return, we returned changed and consequently the world and our relationship to it.  Our central values or axioms may be strengthen or weakened, or seen in a new light, or news one may replace the old.  Our commitment to, faith in or trust of the societal and spiritual structures, hierarchies and traditions may be strengthened or weakened, seen in a new light, or new ones may arise in our minds eye.  

In human history, these ritual forms have been usually related to a particular religion or spiritual belief since throughout history most societies have interwoven religion and spiritual beliefs into all the structures, hierarchies, and traditions.  Moreover, most of the rituals and liminal experiences were designed to reinforce the community's status quo.  What separates the modern world from our past is the rise of the secularization of some of those structures, hierarchies, and traditions, and consequently the ritual forms designed to reinforce the status quo.  The Super Bowl Sunday tradition is probably the easiest one to conjure up (although there is much praying going on - especially by those who bet the family farm on its outcome). 

What we are experiencing in society today is lack of this liminality in our rituals whether religious or secular, political or cultural.  In this regard, this makes us no different than much of those before us.  This is not a knock our (post)modern and (post)industrial society.  We are definitely not the first to be just going through the motions. There has been an upside in the past as the mere lost of the power behind the rituals lessened the power of the ruling powers who benefited from the affirmation of the status quo. But if we do have new ritual which put us through that struggle to appear, we are left being, to put it superficial, deeply unaware of our selves, the world, and the relationship between the two.

Politically speaking, whether one desires the nation to maintain the status quo, return to good old days, or reform the whole damn thing into something new, it will not happen with out people in some form or fashion consciously and consistently experiencing such liminality.  There are the occasional hit and miss epiphanies resulting from stumbling upon the just right phenomenon like a work of art or political protest, but if one waits for those to create the desired tipping point, one will wait forever.

Now for another "this is not what this blog is about" qualifier: I am not saying going out to a party on New Year's Eve is in and of itself is a bad thing, that taking a few moments to read a top ten list of the worst dressed on the red carpet in 2011 is why our country politically has gone off the rails, or that making a new year resolution is destroying the social fabric of society.  All of them are basically harmless.  And for many it is a time to have some quality time with friends and family, which can be very significant to those involved.

As the title of this blog attests to, I myself did not participate in any deeply meaningful ritual last night marking the transition of time in which I experienced liminality.  I actually just stayed home and dinked around, watched some television, and then went to bed. No struggling to appear for me last night.  There were a few celebration gatherings organized by people in recovery I could have attended if I was so inclined, but I wasn't feeling terribly social and didn't want to hassle with being out on the roads. 

Yet as the night unfolded, my mind wandered over a few thoughts.  As one might imagine given what I related in the beginning of this blog, much of thoughts bounced around the nature of my own recovery and what that means for my life (in case one is wondering - I didn't have any serious cravings to go "back out").

I am not one of those who believes (or convinces myself to believe) alcohol and other mood altering substances are evil, and consequently everyone should abstain or behaving immoral should that partake in them, as a means to stay clean and sober.  One can enjoy one's libations and not only live a decent, quality life, but also engage in deeply meaningful and liminal rituals.  (While I don't have any serious issue with those who utilize mood altering substances as part of their religious rituals, such practices are not really aligned with my own beliefs which are of the Zen Buddhist school of thought.)

The reality is, however, for me, the use of alcohol prevents me from participating in such liminal rituals. There is no need to go into all the details of the impact of my disease has had on my life, but it, along with some other factors, left me a shell of an individual, fragmented at best, disintegrating at worst -- both psycho-emotionally and spiritually. 

And such a person cannot move towards becoming  a fully realized citizen or member of the community (one is always moving towards, never arriving).

Now that I am back on the road of recovery, that unceasing path, there is the opportunity to once again participate in rituals in which I struggle to appear.  This is the significance of my commitment to remain clean and sober.  While just abstaining from alcohol (and other mood-altering substances) is a good thing, it ultimately is not much to write home about if end up just being sober and going through the motions.  Moreover, if I choose to avoid the liminal state of being and all the discomforts and disorientation it brings, the likelihood is I won't be sober for long.

It doesn't take long when one is pondering a commitment to such a path before the general lack of such liminal rituals in our society comes to the forefront of one's mind.  It is easy to come across as either arrogant or preachy when one seems to be  making a sweeping claim about how everyone is going through the motion - although I would say there is a good number of people who aren't.  As well, it may just seem to be just a fancy way of pointing out the common gripe about the general superficiality of society (more concerned about Lindsay Lohan than state of education in our country) and related bemoaning of either low-information voters or those who have their priorities and values out of whack.

I believe, however, that the nature of this struggle to appear is what is commonly missed in our lives.  Many of us attend religious services, attend plays that grapple with the big themes, and gather together to recognize the transformations of time and values of our community.  But are we really struggling to appear?  Or are just going through the motions? 

Happy New Year