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SATAN RESPONDS!! A letter from the Devil to Miss California Carrie Prejean

Miss Prejean:

I am writing this letter to you in response to your comments made to one of my good friends, Dr. James Dobson.

I understand you think I tempted you during your beauty pageant.  Sorry to disappoint you, but I've been a little busy lately.  I've had my lead apprentice Dick Cheney doing his best to start a war in the Middle East, and I've been working on this swine flu thing since before would have even heard of SARS.  Actually - I forget who I'm writing to - you wouldn't have heard of it.  You're really, really dumb.  

But sure - I'll stop what I'm doing in derailing the peace process in Isreal just to put an idea in your head.  Here's an idea bitch - STOP BLAMING ME FOR YOUR IGNORANCE!

As you know, I am the baddest, most evil and vile motherfucker in the Universe, but you and your ilk sicken even me a bit.  Remember, I was an angel once - and man are you guys going to be in for a shock when you die. Just a quick FYI - God really doesn't think too highly of self richeous bigoted assholes.  

I am doing important work.  I don't want anyone thinking I would waste even one millisecond of my valuable time on someone like you.  Being associated with you demeans me - and it needs to stop.

Effective immediately - please cease and desist attributing your petty, ignorant hatred of gay people to me.  The next correspondence will be from my attorney, Johnny Cochran.

P.S. - It's not all bad news for you though, you do have a growing fan club here amongst the sadomasochistic pedophiliac Klansmen with poopsex tendencies.  Previously the only person  they would cheer for was Sarah Palin, but you're winning them over.  They are a very VERY enthusiastic bunch.  You'll experience that soon enough though.

Sincerely,


Satan


Satan

Court docs: "Miss California USA Carrie Prejean's parents used homosexuality as an insult" - http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/05/07/2009-05-07_court_docs_miss_california_usa_carrie_prejean_used_homosexuality_as_an_insult.html#ixzz0FOd489MV&A

In one of the documents, Prejean's father describes a confrontation he had with her mother in 1996, in which "Ms. Prejean accused me, in front of our daughter, of homosexuality."

Another excerpt quotes a court-appointed doctor who said "The mother questioned [within hearing of the girls] whether [her father] was a homosexual or had a homosexual roommate."

Court papers dated May 16, 2000, include the following statement from a court-appointed counselor: "The mother also alleges the father told the girls their stepfather was gay, that all men with mustaches are gay."

Prejean's father "acknowledges talking with the girls about the stepfather's brother being gay, not the stepfather," said the papers.

That has to be it.  Even I think mustaches are creepy - and if she was scarred as a child thinking that mustached men are gay - I just might hate the gays too.

 

Oh - wait - no I wouldn't. I forgot I am not a total imbecile.

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