I am writing this letter to you in response to your comments made to one of my good friends, Dr. James Dobson.
I understand you think I tempted you during your beauty pageant. Sorry to disappoint you, but I've been a little busy lately. I've had my lead apprentice Dick Cheney doing his best to start a war in the Middle East, and I've been working on this swine flu thing since before would have even heard of SARS. Actually - I forget who I'm writing to - you wouldn't have heard of it. You're really, really dumb.
But sure - I'll stop what I'm doing in derailing the peace process in Isreal just to put an idea in your head. Here's an idea bitch - STOP BLAMING ME FOR YOUR IGNORANCE!
As you know, I am the baddest, most evil and vile motherfucker in the Universe, but you and your ilk sicken even me a bit. Remember, I was an angel once - and man are you guys going to be in for a shock when you die. Just a quick FYI - God really doesn't think too highly of self richeous bigoted assholes.
I am doing important work. I don't want anyone thinking I would waste even one millisecond of my valuable time on someone like you. Being associated with you demeans me - and it needs to stop.
Effective immediately - please cease and desist attributing your petty, ignorant hatred of gay people to me. The next correspondence will be from my attorney, Johnny Cochran.
P.S. - It's not all bad news for you though, you do have a growing fan club here amongst the sadomasochistic pedophiliac Klansmen with poopsex tendencies. Previously the only person they would cheer for was Sarah Palin, but you're winning them over. They are a very VERY enthusiastic bunch. You'll experience that soon enough though.