Not too long ago, I was up late one night going back and forth with a few of my night owl friends over at TPM discussing President Obama's performance. After signing off, I went to bed, and after a few fitful hours of sleep woke to words going through my mind that made me wonder if I am living in an alternate universe...one that appears on the surface to be the same one many of you are living in, but way different in many respects. I'll get to that alternate universe in a minute.

In my "sorta sleep" the words "of the people, by the people and for the people" kept going through my mind, so, upon waking in the morning, I pulled up the Gettysburg Address, reread it, and found myself crying for my country, and for the mess we are making of it.

"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth, on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate--we can not consecrate--we can not hallow--this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us--that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they here gave the last full measure of devotion--that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain--that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom--and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."

I'm not much of a drama queen. I'm a realist. I like dealing with the way things are, and in my mind, we are perilously close to another civil war. I don't know if it will actually result in a "shooting" war, although I can't see how it all shakes out without shots being fired. 

I like to think that we are too civilized for it to ever happen again. Civil War.  But when I think about what being civil means, I can see that we are headed down an uncivilized path. Or actually down many paths...we are certainly not all on the same one.

The fabric of our society, of our country is being tugged in many directions. It is fraying around the edges, and in some places it is worn so thin you can practically see through it. The more we pull in opposing directions, the weaker it gets. The fissures are becoming obvious...tears are imminent.

So the question becomes, "what are we going to do about it?"

Are we going to refuse to see that it is threadbare, fragile, and continue tugging at it until it tears? Or are we going to stop and work together to repair the damage...to lovingly mend it the way our great grandmothers darned socks?

If TPM is any indication (and I believe it is a microcosm of the country as a whole, but with a more left leaning bend) we are going to keep pulling until it tears. Even there, where our basic, underlying beliefs are so much closer than the ones out in the bigger world, we can't find harmony on much, if anything. Some are brutal with each other (I'm tempted to say "we" but I am not, so I won't include myself.) Rather than debate issues, some devolve into personal attacks. Even there, instead of trying to blend the best ideas, we've divided into camps...those purists who insist that it's their way or the highway, and those who want to compromise and find a way for all of us to get as much of what we want as we can get, keeping in mind our diversity. (And, of course, there are those from the other side of the aisle, not necessarily a bad thing - and a few trolls just there to stir the pot.)  It is certainly a diverse group, as in the greater population.

Let's step back and look at the big picture. This is a big country, not only in geographic proportions, but in terms of wants and needs, as well. But even when it was a small, fledgling  nation-to-be, our founders recognized that there were many points of view, and that the only way to move forward with the grand experiment was through compromise. They did an admirable job in hashing out a living document, meant to change and grow with the evolving needs of the population. From all accounts it was not a pretty process, but they wanted it, needed it, so badly, they made it work. Deals were made. They compromised. No one got everything they wanted. But they got enough, and the country was born.

Our development has been painful. We've had shameful times in our history. We have never been all that we are capable of being. We have never been perfect, not even close. But we've kept trying. There is no blueprint. There are guidelines, but we are to make of them what we wish. We've made mistakes. We nearly lost it once. It took a bloody war pitting brother against brother, father against son to hold it together. The wounds were deep, the scars are still visible, and to this day, much of what we fought about then enters into the modern day discourse.

But we have made progress. Huge progress, I would contend. Women can vote, people cannot be discriminated against because of the color of their skin (well, okay, in theory - in practice it can still be a little dicey.) We have unions. We have Social Security to help seniors get through their golden years without starving, and medicare and medicaid to help our seniors and the poorest of us to get medical care they would otherwise have to do without. All of those things happened because the "libruls" forced the issue. There is little doubt any of those things would have happened if the conservatives had their way. Now we have the beginnings of an improved health care system and financial reform, that never would have even seen the floor of Congress if the Republicans had been in control.

There is still much to do. In my heart of hearts, I am a liberal. I want the things most liberals want. I want affordable, accessible health care for all Americans. I want an end to lobbyists and other special interests "owning" our government.  I want gay couples to be able to marry (or at the very least have all the legal protections of that union) and to be able to serve in the military. I want to reduce/eliminate our dependence on foreign oil, and create a green economy that will eventually replace oil as a means of fueling our country. I want to protect our wetlands and old growth forests, our animals. I want all children to have access to a higher education. I want an increase in diplomacy in the world, and an end to needless wars. I want our troops home from the ones we are engaged in now, just as quickly as possible. I want the really wealthy to pay a greater portion of their gazillions in taxes. I want a strong, vibrant middle class. I do not want "personhood" for corporations. There's more, but you get the point.

Somehow along the way, we lost our way. We got careless with our "of and by" the people, and elected people who have given us a government that is no longer "for the people," but is for the elite few. We need to change that. But we need to do it peacefully, and deliberately, a bit at a time. Right now, at this place and time, we don't have the numbers to make it all happen, at least not all at once. I see the ability to get it done, but in increments.

It is just completely illogical to know that Obama barely got elected, and is considered to be so liberal as to be called a socialist by the other side, and have so much difficulty getting them (and the conservatives in our own party) to work with him, and yet delude ourselves into believing that we could have what we want if we would just elect an even more liberal President. That is where this alternate reality comes in...I'm sorry, it just defies logic...makes me feel like I'm living in a different world than some of you.

I believe that we can get to a country that is left of center, rather than right of center. We may even be able, someday, to be considered a liberal country. But we aren't now, and getting there will be a slow process. We won't get there by destroying the democratic party. We won't get there by abandoning the democrats and putting up far left candidates in districts where they can't possibly win. And we won't get there by aiding and abetting the republicans in castrating our President. All we will succeed in doing is letting them have the reins again, and we'll get to sit by helplessly as they further erode the progress we have made.

We need to be vocal in our insistence that our President pursue a liberal agenda whenever possible, and hold out for the very best deal we can get to that end. What we don't need to do, and what I consider to be counter-productive is calling him incompetent, a failure, a corporate whore, maligning his integrity, riding his ass 24/7 giving him zero support...

I had decided to stop voting before he came along. I had lost any hope that our government could be improved.

He made me sit up and pay attention. He made me give the system another chance, and ended up renewing in me the idealism of my youth...the idea that we CAN make a difference. He is a smart, eloquent man. He has the potential to be a really good, maybe even great President. But he needs more that just the mainstream dems to get anything done. He needs the liberals, the independents, the moderate republicans... And to get broad-based support, he HAS to do what is best for the greatest number of people, not just the left wing of his party. He is President of all of us, not just our party.

I have been hugely disappointed that the change I wanted so desperately has not come as quickly as I would have liked. But in pondering how we've gotten to where we are today, I realize that the country I love so much is far more screwed up than I ever realized it was, and the idea that one man could step in and change everything in two years, let alone two terms was very naive.

So here we sit, two months from the mid-term elections, poised to turn over the reins of the House, and possibly the Senate back over to the Republicans. And I'm terrified. Thoughts of what the party of "no" might do the small amount of progress we have made keeps me up at night.

The bottom line is we all need to do whatever it is that makes us able to look at ourselves in the mirror. For some of you that means demeaning the President, screaming at him, micro-managing every move he makes, and threatening to either vote third party, or stay home, in spite of the fact that doing so will most certainly give the Republicans control of Congress.

For me that is supporting him, encouraging him, offering my suggestions along the way, and voting a straight Democratic ticket for only the second time in my life, the first being 2008. That is what works for me in my alternate universe.

*Originally posted at TPM. Edited and updated for publishing here.