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    What Matters

    I saw, and appreciated Ripper's blog which asked who needed real time assistance. There are people who need that assistance. I might be one of them, if I did not suffer insuperable pride. So, because I still do, I direct your...I saw, and appreciated Ripper's blog which asked who needed real time assistance. There are people who need that assistance. I might be one of them, if I did not suffer insuperable pride. 
    So, because I still do, I direct your attention to my Posterous page:http://wendystaebler.posterous.com/
    I cannot, in good conscience, take advantage of TPM help, until I have taken every step I can take to support myself, with assets I still have. 
    I thank TheraP and WendyDavis and Stilli and Ripper -- all of whom have offered me help -- but each of whom I would, in some sense, be betraying if I did not, first, divest myself of those assets -- though not easily translated to cash -- that I do still have.
    This TPM community has humbled me, as it has given me joy -- in community. I thank each of you, for your courage in revealing yourselves, as well as for your practical willingness to help.In practical terms. 
    If you know someone with big bucks who might want one of the things I still have, please let me know at: [email protected].

    Comments

    I cannot in good conscience rec this post, for I do not believe it is your duty to sell off a lifetime of accumulated assets in order to achieve transcendental "worthiness" for a little help from your friends. Apply now or sell me your hair, Rapunzel.


    I will of course recommend your post Wendy. But do not sell off a lifetime of accumulated assets.

    PLEASE!!!


    I'll rec it, and wish I could buy something, but I can't. Moral support is what I have in the main! I'll go look though... ;-}


    Wendy, I read "Hurricaned" and dearheart, you have writing skills beyond measure. They must be marketable, somehow. Do not sell off your treasures, please. Use your skills, your talents, to find a way.

    You obviously have decorating and design skills. Is there a way to combine them all and create a new career? Can you network where you are?

    One last thing: I understand your pride, your not wanting to be in debt, but sometimes it's necessary in order to find your way out. The larger shame would be to have to give up the things that have defined you and have meaning in your life.


    I echo the sentiments that others have expressed, but I understand that you have your mind made up - a southern woman with a stubborn streak. So I won't attempt to change your mind.

    I'm sure you've considered an antique dealer. Considering that you are in Charleston and that antiques of every proper sort are part of the heritage, your wonderful pieces may sell quite easily. You are, of course, discerning enough to select just the right vendor to give yourself some comfort ... that your "assets" will eventually be loved by another. Someone like yourself, who values the beauty of the past. The echo to the future.

    I've always admired an iron fist in a velvet glove. When I think of you at this moment, I see Scarlet making a dress out of drapes and amazing everyone with her style. Then again, I also see Carol Burnett wearing an actual drape - rod included - because I also admire your sense of humor. ;-)


    Another thought .. have you considered a private, in-home auction? Invitation only, of course.


    Interesting stuff to ponder, ww, and I believe I have even without your impetus here. Pride. Possessions. We most often define ourselves with both. I've reached a point in my own life at which they also seem to confine us , circumscribe us, in comfort to be sure, but without the spark we might have felt when we formulated the intellectual underpinnings of pride or added the material weight of that Oh-so-perfect, (collectible or not), accoutrement to our lifetime's collection. Both may reflect, albeit imperfectly, a seriousness, and aesthetic that is to be treasured, but as I age, I find myself devolving into some variation of a conceptual artist, in which I seem to be content in the knowledge, that I conceived those ideas, acquisitions, etc., and that having them, (ethereal ideation, or material possession), has lost some of its luster. I've been around a lot of poverty these last few months, and the determination, the will, dignity, and humility I see in the face of overwhelming odds, and scant resources is remarkable. I know I've related the story of Diogenes and Alexander the Great more than once here, but it bears repeating.

    Diogenes was one of the founders of the cynic school of philosophy, and had essentially renounced all material possessions. He was described as living in a "barrel", in other words, homeless, when Alexander rode into town. Alexander came upon him upon entering his town, and questioned Diogenes, and was in turn greatly pleased and impressed with Diogenes riposte. In turn Alexander asked Diogenes to tell him what in all the world, he, Alexander, could do for him. Diogenes looked back to the conqueror or the known world, and asked, "Could you please move along, as you are blocking the sun". Maybe it's just me, but I find that interaction and Diogenes request one of the most profound I've ever heard of.


    Everything that we've ever treasured has become part of who we are. Do we need the physical "proof" beyond that? Once the soul absorbs the juice, it's okay to allow the fruit to die. It really is.

    We are no more than what we are .. needing the sun, admiring the moon.


    Wendy-

    Oh how I wish I were sufficiently wealthy (in cash terms) to buy all your possessions so I could then return them to you! It would be fair reward in exchange for all you have offered here in TPM. And it would be a great investment if it freed you to write more from your experience and from the heart, as you do.

    You have an intriguing story to tell, judging from the few pieces you have shared with us. I hope you can overcome the challenges that confront you, and I suspect a key to that will come in exploiting your talents.

    Write! Write, woman! Write! Write! And then, write some more!


    Hey M. You're up late, and I might have expected you to get that. See you later in the dreamworld amiga.


    I always see you there ...


    That is a breathtakingly beautiful instrument.

    Things are dreadfully wrong. Those with a sense of responsibility and honor lose all ... and those without scruples are rewarded with billions and gobble the assets the honorable liquidate.


    Hey! I didn't mean for this to be here.

    But since it is ... I don't think an instrument is a mere possession (assuming it's played). Making music is a new joy every time. One can never fully absorb that juice - only miss it when it's gone.


    Miguel and M--
    I agree with you that living life in unblocked sun (and moon) -- both literally and metaphorically, is the goal. However. In practical terms, if I am going to live long enough to achieve that state of grace, then in the interim I'm going to need, not only a roof over my head but also --until I'm old enough for Medicare - our newly reformed but,curiously, still the world's most expensive health insurance. ;-)


    kgb999-- yep, that's where I see these things going, to one or more investment bankers. Let's hope there are lots of them at the auction and that they feel competitive, one with another, and the winning bidders have to pay plenty. A small satisfaction, to separate them from some of their money. Will I need to launder it rid it of bad karma?


    Thank you, Sleepin -- and vice versa -- WRITE, right?


    I am going to sell them at auction, M., but not in Charleston where the tight-fisted nature of the local buying beast would cause the sale prices to be lower than in Philadelphia or New York. Yes, I'd like these things to go to homes in which they would be loved, but in this instance, I'll settle for selling them to someone for monetary value. In order to avoid, or at least delay becoming Carol Burnett's character. ;-)


    Btw, the harpsichord has been played, and it has been a joy.


    =(

    I dunno wot to do. I am sad. I understand, though. Some things precious to me have found their way out of here, for common, vulgar, cash.

    Funny how there used to be enough of that, and now there never does seem to be. I don't have much, don't need much, but the few things that do get passed down, well, you want to be able to do that as well.

    What will I leave for my loved ones? I don't know. Maybe my love is all I will have left to leave them.

    (hugs)


    There will come a day when each one of us will step gingerly onto that final threshold to pass through the last doorway.
    When that moment is imminent, you will have nothing in your hands with which to negotiate the circumstance--whatever it may be--on the other side of that mysterious passage. It's just you, just me, walking through that door.
    Since all of life is but a dress rehearsal for that moment--that moment of having no baggage, no instrument, no boarding pass, no credit card-- then divesting ourselves, along the way, of these earthly appendages becomes as natural as looking upward at the sun and thanking God for its warmth.
    In the end it's all so very simple--not nearly as busy as a Bach fugue--but, perhaps, passionate as a Vivaldi adagio.


    It does make me sad not to be able to leave these things to my son and/or his cousins. But at least my son has cheerfully confessed that he doesn't like any of it anyway. The girls will feel differently, especially about the portrait, "Ms. Manners" (the one that was my old avatar) about whose ultimate disposition there has been considerable maneuvering among them already. So, problem solved, eh?
    The fact is that I am coming to this decision way too late. I should have sold these things, at the very latest, last year; if I had, this year would have been far less worrisome. Months of an "unblocked sun" rather than an eclipse.


    Ramona -- you are describing my old career, in which I practiced as a designer/design journalist. Unfortunately there is a shelf life for that rightly favors those in their 30's and 40's, with the exception of those very few (mostly male) who are in NY or LA or SFO and are extremely well-connected.
    That's fine. I had my day, and at this point I would not have the day and night whirlwind energy (or the diplomacy) it takes. I had imagined a wind-down career as a portrait painter, but the market for that barely exists anymore. So it will have to be writing, in one form or another, on an independent contractor basis, because no newspaper or magazine is going to hire someone my age -- it's just not going to happen.
    Pieces of a puzzle, to be newly arranged.


    Hmmm, thank you, Ripper, but is there much of a market for gray/white-streaked dark hair? I'm thinking not. Only so many Cruella de Ville movies made. ;-)


    Oh, not to worry about that, DD. I already lost the things I personally earned and paid for in the hurricane.
    What I'm selling now are family pieces that someone else worked hard and paid for long ago. So, as might be expected, if any family shade darkens my door to protest this sale, I shall have to speak to him firmly and say: "I know, I know, BUT, what would you do? You'd sell in a heartbeat to pay the bills. That was your legacy, and it was a good one..... What's that you say? Oh, you're frowning not because I'm selling, but because I've put if off this long. Too true. Sorry."


    Yeah. I mean that as part of the love. For my daughters 18th birthday, I opted to create a hopefully good memory, (MoMa and time together with friends and her boyfriend,) rather than some piece of jewelry, although, the lacy garnet necklace I got on mine is now hers.

    Luckily it's value is far more sentimental than monetary.

    =D

    Who knows, maybe garnets will be like gold someday. I think I am saying (poorly) that the time spent in worry-free, simple happiness is probably of more value in the long term, ma'am. For all concerned.


    Wendy -- your friendship is worth its weight in gold. And that, btw, is how your voice strikes me, seriously -- light drenched in gold. I'm serious that you should be doing the reading for books on tape. Maybe I could just be a career matchmaker?



    Agreed, Bwak. I know that is so.
    Lucky girl -- your daughter -- in every respect, to have you as her mother. And garnets are really lovely, especially when they, or anything else, are from one's mother.


    So beautifully said, Cary:
    "In the end it's all so very simple--not nearly as busy as a Bach fugue--but, perhaps, passionate as a Vivaldi adagio."

    I'll focus on that; thanks.


    Yez, well, we are both lucky to have LisB to impose on. The hostess with the mostess.

    =D


    Apply now or sell me your hair, Rapunzel.

    Harharharhar!!!

    And in other news, Teach for America is hiring administrators and teachers all over the map.


    Thanks for that link, Ruta -- I appreciate it.


    I too have saw fit and proper to sell almost all of the things that bring big $$$ on craigslist and eBay.... I can say it does help alot, and it is sad to have to part with a lifetime of finds and such. BUt you can find new ones, as I slowly find out. They somehow make room for new stuff. I think it's a reward for doing what you don't want to but half to.

    Blessings on you my friend.


    Thank you, Joe. I am a great admirer of your work and of your character.



    Anna -- thank you. This song does resonate, in a good, positive way. The posting of this blog has actually been amazingly cathartic, although that is not why I posted it.
    I'm good. It's all alright. I was lucky to have what I had when I had it, and I am lucky to have what's left to help see me through what's next. More people should be so lucky.


    I'm having trouble moving past the denial stage on this one. So, I'm going to leave commentary to the more ethereal (or is that more grounded?) posters who seem able to be positive. This totally bums me out and makes me so damn mad. Truth be told, I'm really in the mood to just smash things - those Teabag rallies look more and more attractive with every passing day; I'm just this side of saying fuck it and becoming a Paultard.


    Dear Wendy,
    In regards to your double manual harpsichord, I realize that you know best on how to sell it in an auction, but have you considered providing an opportunity to harpsichordists by listing it at http://www.harpsichord.com/ which is linked at many harpsichord societies and academic sites.
    Just a thought.


    Opus: I missed this when you posted it.
    THANK YOU; I will list my harpsichord there, because it is the one thing I have left that truly needs to go to someone who cares/


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