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    Pat Robertson's soul fails to sell on eBay; devil says he expects reserve price to drop. True story

    By acanuck on Wed, 01/13/2010 - 11:18pm | Religion

    Considering what's just happened to the poor, sick, malnourished and misgoverned Haitian people, it may seem an irrelevant distraction to focus on the words of one arrogant Christian bigot. But it needs to be done. It's time for Pat Robertson to just go away.

    Conjuring up bogus causality after the fact is his recurring shtick. Feminists and gays caused 9/11. Abortion caused Katrina. Evacuating Gaza caused Sharon's stroke. Health care reform probably caused swine flu. Teaching evolution no doubt led to Fort Hood and the underpants bomber. Enough.

    It wasn't sufficient that Haiti lost 100,000 people or more, they had to endure this dreck:

    [S]omething happened a long time ago in Haiti and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French. Napoleon the Third and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, “We will serve you if you get us free from the prince.” True story. And so the devil said, “OK, it’s a deal.” They kicked the French out, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free. But ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after the other, desperately poor. ... They need to have, and we need to pray for them, a great turning to God.

    Robertson had the balls to deliver this smear even as he was soliciting funds for earthquake relief. So the Haitians are cursed, and they brought it on themselves, but we're so fucking good we'll help them out anyway. Gee thanks, Pat. And it was Napoleon Bonaparte, not Napoleon III. But thanks for playing.

    For me, the takeaway line comes right in the middle. "True story," Robertson tells us, just after getting his timeline off by half a century. It immediately evokes the loudmouth in the bar who's telling a bunch of his newfound, short-term friends about the hot waitress he took home last night, and senses disbelief starting to creep in. His interjection isn't so much intended to convince them his story is true, but to convince himself that he's convincing them his story is true.

    A pathetic excuse for a human being, let alone a man of the cloth. True story. 

    There, I feel better.

    Topics: 
    Religion

    Comments

    a disgusting man. and a disgusting comment. true story.


    by Deadman on Thu, 01/14/2010 - 12:39am

    I've been reading up on the religious right lately. It's been fascinating and, at the same time, nauseating. I have no particular beef with evangelicalism, which I consider no better or worse than any other religious sect. But the frontmen of the modern evangelical political movement are the most despicable, manipulative, shameless charlatans in America today. Robertson's followers would do well contemplate what it means to serve the devil.

    (Ac, thanks for the opportunity to vent. Resuming dry sarcasm mode in 5..4..3..2..1)


    by Michael Wolraich on Thu, 01/14/2010 - 11:54am

    I've been traveling for 2 days. I heard about the earthquake on Tuesday night during my layover at LAX and now that I'm in Jakarta, I'm catching up on the news for the first time. How much more does Haiti have to take, for fuck's sake?

    It's sad that a person so filled with hate can attract so many followers, and so much funding, for his purported cause. Sad, but not surprising. Human nature is at once overwhelmingly caring and generous and spitefully ugly. Robertson is around to remind of us this every time our better selves kick in.


    by Orlando on Thu, 01/14/2010 - 12:34pm

    How does he know this "true story"?  Either he was alive and present when it happened, or he has an inside source, satan perhaps? 


    by Shocked (not verified) on Mon, 01/18/2010 - 12:34pm

    Our reporter caught up earlier today with Satan, who was out stumping for the Massachusetts Senate seat (see above). Asked whether he is the source for Robertson's claim, the Prince of Darkness replied, “GRAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!”

    Satan's spokesman said that meant he could neither confirm nor deny the content of any private conversations or dealings between the preacher and his demonic majesty. The spokesman did concede that Robertson is an unpaid "informal adviser" to Satan's election campaign.


    by acanuck on Mon, 01/18/2010 - 3:45pm

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