LAS VEGAS – The age old question – could God create a shotgun big enough to blow his own brains out? – has finally been answered. And that answer is, yes. Yes he can.

God was found dead yesterday at the Wynn Las Vegas of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. [Read more]

I am kind, giving and strong. I am fair and law-abiding. I am smart and resourceful. I respect others and I do no harm. I follow the words of Jesus Christ. I am an American Boy. [Read more]

America faces few problems worse than where and when Barack Obama goes to church. Sure, there are environmental catastrophes to worry about, an economy that shows no interest in bouncing back, wars on God knows how many fronts and unemployment high enough to make Herbert Hoover cringe.

But this is America. And Christ matters.

With 20 percent of Americans believing that Obama is actually a Muslim, it’s time for Obama to turn that tide. He and his family must join the whitest, most conservative Christian Church as possible. [Read more]

How many times have we heard the phrase War on Terror over the last nine years? How many times have the very people who are now frothing and screaming about the Cordoba House community center (the alleged "Ground Zero Mosque") also screamed the words "War on Terror," and frothed at anyone who they felt was not acting (and I do mean acting) seriously enough about that "War?"

Now many of those very people have turned the serious business of dealing with Islamic terrorism into a clown show. And their hysterical shrieking about Cordoba House proves at least one of two things. Either the right wing doesn't really believe in the War on Terror or they don't care who wins.
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I posted this as a comment over at TPM, but I think it bears repeating here:

It's not MY constitution, of course, so maybe I should just butt out and shut up. But does nobody else see the huge problem I do with the so-called compromise proposal?
The idea is to placate those yahoos with the least comprehension or affection for separation-of-church-and-state (I'm thinking about the "No more mosques anywhere" guy) -- by having the federal government subsidize the mosque's move to a different location.
I.e.: by violating in the crudest possible way separation-of-church-and-state. This is what people are calling a compromise? So instead of one affront to constitutional principle, you get two.
Way to go, America's political leadership.

Holy Spirit announced today that he has left the Holy Trinity in order to pursue a solo career. [Read more]

A judge has overturned California’s Proposition 8 as unconstitutional, because it is, and our country has moved one more step toward making marriage a universal right. Those who want marriage rights restricted will complain that this decision “undermines traditional marriage,” and in a way they’re correct. It does. And that's a good thing.
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Look on the bright side – at least the Gulf of Mexico now looks super-bitchin’ under UV lighting.

News/Politics

Arizona Immigration Law: A federal judge strikes down parts of Arizona’s Illegal immigration law, meaning Jan Brewer will spend more of the state’s money on lawyers. And John McCain has a sad. [Read more]

COLORADO - Hours after admitting that his sexual liason with a male prostitute was a "massage gone awry," Ted Haggard has admitted he is again feeling Gay urges.

"What can I say," said Haggard. "I over-repented and shot straight past being straight."

Haggard, who gets paid to tell people how they are supposed to act, was forced to resign nearly four years ago as president of the politically powerful National Association of Evangelicals and to step down from the megachurch he founded, after admitting that he had bought methamphetamine from, and had a sexual encounter with a gay prostitute. [Read more]

Breaking News, American Style. Via Prosebeforehos.

News/Politics

Gulf Oil Disaster: The cap remains on British Petroleum’s oil geyser, but an apparent leak and “undetermined anomalies” mean the happy ending is still a long way off.

U.S. Intelligence: It’s a complete mess, according to the Washington Post. [Read more]

On April 20, 2010, British Petroleum’s Deep Water Horizon oil rig exploded, killing 11 men and allowing millions of gallons of oil to gush into the Gulf of Mexico. Almost immediately the call went out to him. Yet there was no reply.

Since then, the call to him has been made by many, from President Barack Obama to ex-Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin. And still no response. God, it appears, is refusing to take a leadership position when he’s needed the most. [Read more]

This is just great news. Atheists around the world must be applauding the theft of the controversial Mojave Desert cross. This is a great moment for Atheists and the time is at hand to spread our lack of belief around the planet. The cross has been stolen, and it is a great sign.

From Yahoo:

A cross erected on a remote Mojave Desert outcropping to honor American war dead has been stolen less than two weeks after the U.S. Supreme Court allowed it to remain standing while a legal battle continued over its presence on federal land. [Read more]

I forgot I made coffee this morning, and once I remembered the pot was a-brewin', the black sour liquid of life had already gotten cold and stale. Luckily, as I got online and checked out Dagblog, my heart basked in the warmth of the realization that if there's one thing that never gets old, tired, cold, and stale, it's the gay marriage debate.

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Nothing to see here.

–WKW

Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

NEW YORK/ROME — Catholic Pope Benedict XVI has taken over all responsibilities at troubled Goldman Sachs, today. His new title will be Chief Holy Authority (CFA) or just “Pope.”

The Pope will keep his duties with the Catholic Church while working simultaneously at Goldman Sachs. The Pope stated he saw no problems for the giant financial firm that is currently in trouble with the SEC.

“We’ll move some people around, it will be fine,” said Pope.

An unnamed official at Goldman Sachs said the hiring of the Pope was the aggressive move need to put the whole company at ease. [Read more]

Every month, every week, the Catholic Church's scandal seems to deepen. Andrew Sullivan wants the Pope to resign. Christopher Hitchens wants the Pope arrested. Peggy Noonan has a brilliant column detailing the Catholic hierarchy's inability to grasp the problem and calling for "new blood" in the leadership. These are all reasonable desires. But none of that will happen.
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VATICAN – Claiming he had no choice and was only protecting himself and his Church, Pope Benedict today shot and killed God. The Almighty was rushed to a nearby hospital but was pronounced dead from the wounds.

The shooting took place moments before the Pope’s annual Easter Mass. During the Mass, the Pope declared that the act of violence was necessary to help stop the “Flood of Gossip” which threatens to derail the church. A senior Pope spokesman later discussed the incident with CNN’s Anderson Cooper. [Read more]

FRESNO – Jesus Christ Almighty was making himself and his followers a quick bite to eat when he noticed something amazing – he could see himself on the tortilla he had just made. [Read more]

I have always lived my life as an optimist. Because of this, I have vivid fantasies of a better world for all of us.

I believe that one day, man will put down his arms and celebrate peace. That enemies will become friends. And that we won’t have a Pope that covers up for Pedophiles.

I believe that one day, humankind will come together as one to protect the Mother Earth. We will see the selfishness and arrogance of our ways and make our home a beautiful place. And that we won’t have a pedophile-protecting Pope. [Read more]

For countless decades, Catholic parents around the globe sent their children to work with the Catholic Church in a variety of ways – alter boys, choir members, etc. Many times, this experience is helpful to the child, who learns responsibility, hard work and a deeper understanding of God.

And many other times, the child returns, completely broken and emotionally destroyed because they were sexually abused by pedophile Catholic priests. [Read more]