Brett Favre Retires!

We've done it again boys. Garcon! Mount #4's taxidermied head in the hallowed hallway of Jet misery. Put it dead center - right in between Doug Brien's foot and the floor plans of the Manhattan stadium.

Do you really need any more proof that this is the saddest franchise in the NFL? (Shut it Lions fans you get to bathe in your 0-16 bragging rights). It took just 6 months for us to extinguish the most unquenchable fire in NFL history. 6 measly months to get the guy who refused to take a seat a day after burying his father to cry "uncle." 180 days for the guy who was willing to sully his glorious Packers career to convince himself that returning for another season with the Jets just wasn't worth it.

Yes, we are that good. Shocker that Brett won't hold a press conference to make the retirement announcement. Likely because he might find it hard to shed tears carrying around a smile ripped straight from an Aqua Fresh ad.

Did anyone really think he'd ride out his decision for months? You really think Brett sat there nestled in his plush cowhide bean bag chair contemplating a return to the Jets? With one good haloed angel on his right shoulder screaming "You have nothing more to prove!" and the evil angel on the left countering "Another year with the Jets? I might carry a trident, but I'm not a dick."

Frankly, I'm saddened as it's back to irrelevancy for the green and white. I enjoyed Barnum and Favrely's circus while it lasted on its brief trip through my town. So much for NFL Monday Nighters and Madden football covers. So much for Tuesdays with Sports Television Glaury (sic). Now we'll have to garner headlines the old fashioned way - by accidentally shooting ourselves at nightclubs or by beating Rihanna.

I'm going to miss him. I couldn't have cared less how many picks he threw - you could've trotted him out there limbless perched on a Hoveround and shrouded in a Snuggie and I would have been thoroughly entertained. As an organization we deserve a "thank you" from the NFL. A gift basket, a Vermont Teddy Bear, a Pajama gram, at least something to show some appreciation for finally quelling the Favre saga. 6 months ago it would have taken a stretcher to end Favre's career, turns out just a brief stint in our shoes could do the trick.

Brett Favre has retired for good.