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Superpowers
Defies gravity Can spit really far Almost touch my toes Can cut a fly's legs off with a beer cap from 20 paces Know how to say useless stuff and prattle on in a dozen languages Don't know when to shut up
Favorite Quotes
To be for or against the Plague, it's much the same thing. Fiddledee, how a body shure do get around - just 2 weeks ago I was in Mississippi and now I'm all the way to Tennessee... Eat or Be Eaten Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
Biography
Born in swaddling clothes (designer, of course) at the confluence of big waters, my first recorded words were "Dad, can I have the keys to the car?" Raised a Southern Pedestrian, my musical talents were recognized at an early age, leading to my being exiled to the shed out back with a stack of books that became my eddykayshun - advanced readin', writin' & ritmytick, creating a major quandary of "what will I do, oh what will I do?" (Gunslinger) As an old black man advised in song, "You Gotta Move", so move I did, traveling the byways sideways even a lot of driveways, picking up sticks and psychological tics, even movin' to Beverlee through a quaint misunderstanding of the seriousness of TV series, until finally I blew up so big the carry nation incarnation tarnation couldn't hold me no more, so I fixed my sights on yonder sitar, and like Queequeg and Paul Bowles and one of those abducted kids by the Pied Piper of Hamelin, I ventured forth to the larger world, pickin' and grinnin', doin' me some reckonin' and naughts from naughts, occasionally rightin', building me some buildings and wiring and just trying to understand the babble comin' out of people's mouths and heads, I finally ended up in what Rummy quaintly calls "New Europe", which ain't so new from what I sees, but that pit in my stomach from lack-of-moving-sickness finally disappeared, and instead I sit behind a whopping big desk stacked with missives from all the chiefs with big whampum around the world telling me "what's going on". Which seems like a load of boolshit to me, but I guess that's what keeps me busy and entertained now, separatin' the weeds from the chapstick. So my name is Perry Keys, or Peracles to you, and since my mammy always said, "say please and thank you", I added the please, but I'm holdin' back on that thankee until I feel you've earned it. But do welcome, and I hope we's a gonna have a real good time. It all starts with, "I wuz born a poor young white chile livin' in the South..." and we cycle through again, like Nietzsche and his infernal regurgence. So enjoy, and let's spin a spell...

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Blog Posts

It's Magic: Make America Grate Again

In what looks like the most amazing Rick-Roll of all time, we have to come to grips with the possibility that Trump is creating his own October Surprise with the results he wants. While some have speculated it was his wife who gave up his 20-year-old tax form, it would be much easier for him to do it. The recording? Pull it out of his archive.

Why would Donald go to such effort to self-destruct? Because he was never a real candidate to begin with. Everything he's done was a hyperinflated version of what a real stupid conservative Republican might do - turning up the IOKIYAR meme to 11 was sheer brilliance. Or at least good fun.. That's right, Donald Trump is the political equivalent of Spinal Tap - Spinal Trump, anyone? - compleat with little miniature stonehenges and a bizarre appearance at the Armory. And a tribute to fat bottom girls. 

Donald Drops the Mic

Seems Donald's falling back on the "sun was in myeyes, rock in my shoes, moderator up my ass" level of excuse making. While it's possible someone screwed up the audio levels, it's also possible that someone just doesn't know how to talk into the mic (or put it close to their mouth) - see pic below. (I presume he or his team checked the podium before the debate - my real guess is he wasn't yelling as assertively as usual). Unforced error #14.

Hillary & the Paradox of Teamwork

The trend towards greater teamwork has been extolled in business & management schools for well over 2 decades now, But still when we consider executive pay, leadership, innovation and other qualities, we're laying on sparse praise to the team, hard praise to the leader. It's not the team that makes Facebook - it's Zuckerberg (at the exclusion of even his co-founders). The ghost of Steve Jobs still hovers over Apple, but it's Tim Cook that reigns, not some more amorphous "team". When we talk about Microsoft's success, it's what Bill Gates and Paul Allen did, and what Steve Ballmer and later didn't do.

Shoutout to Maiello: Wrestling

[Meant to post this days ago, but may be better now]

Okay, Devega made the claim that Trump's modeled himseslf on the badguy wrestler (who the crowd cheers for) - so we need the Maiello deconstruction of 1) what to expect, 2) how Hillary can counter it, and 3) whether wrestling motifs are the future of all American political contests. (And of course anything else you want to riff on).

Trump Punts on Administration

When asked by Fox who he'd invite to be in his Administration, Trump responded "Menstruation? That's disgusting. And I'll have you know I have no problem with women, do really well if you know what I mean, really well, without having blood come out from wherever. That's for these sad sack losers, I don't have to get all soft and sensitive to have lots of beautiful women. When they have that time of month, I'll be on the golf course driving the wood, if you know what I mean"

Japanese Whispers: The Swift Boating of Hillary

In 2004, after losing the post-9/11 2002 mid-terms, the Democrats fielded a decorated Vietnam veteran against an incumbent president who was revealed to have gone AWOL on his National Guard service, a service in itself that was a bypass of the regular draft.

Instead of accepting the stacked deck, conservative Republicans immediately went to work reframing - parading a group of veterans to call into doubt Kerry's service, while finding a magic unicorn forged document to derail the otherwise overwhelmingly compelling evidence that Bush had failed to complete.

Flagging Relief

I've never quite gotten the flag, and growing up, I thought that was part of the point. Didn't everyone else sit through history class and learn how country after country had followed jingoistic rhetoric, crass manipulative symbolism and other tricks of the trade to go get slaughtered? I once read the final chapter to "Johnny Got His Gun" on air - at one point, that was required reading, no?

Hillary takes a shit

Faced with condemnation from David Axelrot for not being more forthcoming about her pneumonia, Hillary Clinton's team has put the traveling press corps on notice that they will be receiving regular updates on bowel movements, including floaters vs sinkers, as well as any gassy bloated moments, painful urination, drowsiness, irritability, and other possible flaws of human nature and physiology.

Blackmailing Big Brother?

It's hard to see why Assange's current approach to Hillary's records isn't illegal - the emails were obtained illegally, the material isn't presented as news but as a threat, a form of harassment and libel. He'll be putting out "teases" and it could have a "significant impact" on November. He's trading in stolen information to harass a candidate for our highest office - behind his walled protective space in a London embassy with no repercussions. It's a kind of pain free extortion or blackmail or simply a peculiar gaming site on the hill with ability to target characters and sling fireballs and explosives at them one by one. Julian at 13, forever and ever.

Pay Equality

So Gretchen wassername has now earned about 50% more than Hillary's speeches over 5 years through a harassment suit, and Ailes has earned twice that amount for quitting. Shame they're not demanding his transcripts. But thebiggest scandal remains the Clinton Foundation, where unlike Fox they trade non-access for non pocketed money. Why do they do it?

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