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    Women and Donald Trump: Watch Us Take Him Down

     

    Photo credit: AP/Fortune

    Every woman alive knows personally, or knows about, those puffy-chested, foul-mouthed, egotistical bullies who hike up their big, bad britches and talk trash about having loads of fun with our private parts.  Until now, not a single one of them ended up being a major party's candidate for President of the United States.  That's a new one.

    Ever since Donald Trump swept the primaries in June and stepped up his awesomely awful reign of terror, I've been doing a lot of hand-wringing, mainly on Facebook, admitting for all the world to see that this guy Trump, a nothingburger in ways too many to count, was scaring the bejeesus out of me.  I've been horrified, terrified, scarified and very nearly petrified.

    Silly me.

    I'm a woman who came of age in the 1950s. My looks were nothing extraordinary but I've had my share of "accidental" brushes against my breasts, unwelcome nuzzles and attempts at kisses, and, yes, of outright gropes.

    Countless times I've heard the kinds of suggestive words clueless, stupid men and boys apparently believe are all it takes to turn us on.

    I doubt there are many women who have been lucky enough to sidestep any of it. It happens. But I think it's safe to say this is the first time in our history a known serial groper and admitted sexual predator has come this close to becoming President of the United States.  (Okay, stop. Don't even go there. Bill Clinton may have been a low-life serial philanderer in his younger days but he didn't mic up and brag about it; he didn't make it an essential part of who he is. He was impeached. He paid a price, and for all I know it cured him.)

    But back to Trump: As of this day and yesterday and the day before, he's hemorrhaging voters and donors and party leaders as fast as the slime will flow.  He has taken to sniffing and stalking and threatening to jail his opponent as soon as he dons his robes and takes the throne. He's threatening to sue the growing numbers of women who are accusing him of gross indecency.  He's threatening to sue the New York Times for using his own actions to condemn him.  He's making noises against the First Amendment, trying to scare off the press.

    He blames everyone, but he mainly blames women, and for once he's right.  We are working to take him down. No mystery. Oh, he still has his female followers--those women who will stand next to a guy wearing a tee shirt that says "She's a Cunt" and smile at the camera, those women who wear the title "Trump supporter" and, no matter what, will defend him with a grin. But, thank Hera, they're in the minority.  The rest of us are working to take Donald Trump down. To take him down.

    Just before Donald Trump was seen last week stalking across the stage, channeling Benito Mussolini, conjuring up New World Order conspiracies, calling out his accusers, our First Lady, Michelle Obama, gave the speech of her life, talking in exquisitely painful language about sexual predation (without mentioning names), and the effect it has on women:

    This is not something that we can ignore. It's not something we can just sweep under the rug as just another disturbing footnote in a sad election season. Because this was not just a "lewd conversation." This wasn't just locker-room banter. This was a powerful individual speaking freely and openly about sexually predatory behavior, and actually bragging about kissing and groping women, using language so obscene that many of us were worried about our children hearing it when we turn on the TV.

    And to make matters worse, it now seems very clear that this isn't an isolated incident. It's one of countless examples of how he has treated women his whole life. And I have to tell you that I listen to all of this and I feel it so personally, and I'm sure that many of you do too, particularly the women. The shameful comments about our bodies. The disrespect of our ambitions and intellect. The belief that you can do anything you want to a woman.

    It is cruel. It's frightening. And the truth is, it hurts. It hurts. It's like that sick, sinking feeling you get when you're walking down the street minding your own business and some guy yells out vulgar words about your body. Or when you see that guy at work that stands just a little too close, stares a little too long, and makes you feel uncomfortable in your own skin.

    It's that feeling of terror and violation that too many women have felt when someone has grabbed them, or forced himself on them and they've said no but he didn't listen — something that we know happens on college campuses and countless other places every single day. It reminds us of stories we heard from our mothers and grandmothers about how, back in their day, the boss could say and do whatever he pleased to the women in the office, and even though they worked so hard, jumped over every hurdle to prove themselves, it was never enough.

     It happens. And it's not just Donald Trump, it's every man who sees a woman's body as a mindless, soulless playground; it's every man who goes into government believing a woman's body is his to legislate.

    But I can't leave this page without acknowledging the millions of men who get it, who are outraged by Donald Trump's words and actions, and who are speaking out.  You are our greatest allies, our heroes, the loves of our lives. You are our husbands, fathers, sons, brothers, friends. You energize us. It's our fight but we couldn't do this without you.

    (Click here to watch Michelle Obama's remarkable speech in its entirety.)

     

    (Cross-posted at Ramona's Voices and Crooks and Liars)

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    Comments

    Yes Ramona, I get it!

    I wrote somewhere else that I wished to speak to my daughter and daughter-in-law about this.

    I received a chance to bring up the subject with the mother of my granddaughters.

    I immediately sensed that she wished not to discuss the subject.

    Thank God, we discussed other matters over half an hour on the phone.

    I am sure, really sure my son never attacked women like this trump guy.

    I would make a joke and say that he never needed to, but that joke is not funny anymore.

    Trump never needed to act like this. He could 'get' any woman he wanted by smiling and paying the tab and offering things of value.

    In another blog I began by laughing at Trump's hubris; but as I wrote more I perceived that there was little to laugh at.

    Honest to God, I never realized this type of assault happens every goddamn day.

    Now I do.

    And as I spoke to my son and his wife, I suggested that they must decide when and how to discuss this subject with my granddaughters.

    I am a fan of L&O SVU, and certainly I have been apprised of the combinations and permutations involved in sexual behaviors.

    BUT DAMN!

    I really had no idea and I have never met a guy bragging about sexual assault.

    NICE BLOG


    Richard, you are the kind of man every woman needs on her side.  Your granddaughters are lucky to have you in their lives. It won't take words so much as pure, unconditional love.  They'll get it.  Just as you have.


    While I generally agree with most of what you post I have to push back a bit on this, " He could 'get' any woman he wanted by smiling and paying the tab and offering things of value."

    While there are many women who respond to wealth and fame Trump could not get any women he wanted. There are many women, I believe most women, who are looking for someone who is much more than just rich and famous.


    Yeah, after I looked at this comment, I would edit it so that it would imply that a lot of women would love to be with Trump.

    That line looks really, really tacky.

    So Ocean, you got me.


    Puh-leeze - it's normal slight hyperbole. Obviously Michelle Obama's not up for grabs, nor are Taylor Swift or Katie Perry, probably not Angelina Jolie or maybe she is now and I doubt Kate Upton, JLaw or Kirsten Stewart. The actual message is that men with lots of money and some stature, not terrible looks and a good degree of shamelessness get more than their expected (by us wimps on the sidelines*) share of conquests. I have some sense that it's not just about the offer or promise of money, nor about any particular extra attraction - it's the free and uncaring attitude that comes from having money and the luxury of just going out and "having fun" in extravagant ways. Even if he's not actually flying her to the Caribbean for the weekend, the possibility and imagination that goes with it are always there.

    *My problem was more often quoting pickup lines in ancient Greek through some misconceived notion that it would be viewed as witty and intellectual. Guess Ari Onassis' charm must have been from a different set of skills.


    Yes, it's just sloppy language not a cardinal sin. Still worth pointing out imo.


    What is hilarious is the number of women who said , "NO!"  With his crude crotch grabbing techniques, there are probably hundreds of women who were so grossed out, even if they were afraid to refuse -- yes, that happens even if they guy is rich and powerful.  I'm sure there were many who said no but just want to forget. 

    Donald must be the most sexually unconfident and incompetent person ever.  There is no other reason for that conduct.

    true story:  I was about 24 and was working at the ER at The George Washington University Hospital. I reluctantly add here that I was considered pretty hot back then.  (I say reluctantly because it happens to everyone regardless of looks, but I do think it is partly why it happened). An Orthopedic Resident who looked like he was 12 told me (in front of my best friend, also a nurse) that he was going over to the resident's sleeping quarters.  He said, "Why don't you come over after your shift?  No dates, no proms, just sex."

    Maryanne (my friend and I) burst out laughing, and we have repeated those lines to each other whenever we needed a laugh. 

    There have been other situations where I truly felt fearful, but I won't go into those now.  In every case it was about power and/or about a perceived inequality.  With the dope above it was about an assumption that since he was now a doctor every person with 2 x .chromosomes would be honored to do his bidding.  It was simply insulting and I laughed because I was too young to know the right words. 


    You go, Ramona!

    Who rule the world? Girls!


    Girls!  But first we have to let them know their worth.  Then, look out!


    I think Blur already covered that - if I could only understand the words...


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