WASHINGTON – In a bold effort to try and combat the far-right conservatives George W. Bush nominated to the U.S. Supreme Court, President Barack Obama today announced that he is nominating actor Sean Penn to the SCOTUS seat soon to be vacated by Justice Paul Stevens.

“Over the past decade we have seen the Supreme Court move decidedly right of center,” said Obama. “We feel that Justice Sean Penn will help even things out.”

AUGUSTA – Following a thrilling Masters tournament that saw Phil Mickelson win his third Green Jacket, Masters Chairman Billy Payne spoke out about U.S. Senator John McCain.

As speculation grows about a potential 2012 Presidential run, ex-Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich has teamed up with Nike to produce an advertisement meant to both soften the controversial Republican’s image, as well as sell his new line of products, available at Nike.

If you thought the movie “Avatar” wasn’t enough of a trite rehash, just wait until “Avatar 2: The Tax Revoltening.” Coming April 15, this new epic will feature a new Dick Armey led brigade marching on Washington – but this time, they’re doing it virtually*.

Yes, tapping into the Tea Party’s overwhelming desire to stay at home and grunt loudly while wearing their underwear, this march promises to do to the Internet what the Tea Party has done to National Politics – absolutely nothing.