Maiello: Human Rights and the Stock Market
Doc Cleveland: Fear Itself: Ukraine Edition
And on a Lighter Note, CPAC Starts Today!
On June 4th, the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) released an audio recording of a radio exchange between a flotilla ship and the Israeli Navy in which an unidentified crew member of the Mavi Marmara shouted, "Shut up, go back to Auschwitz!" Another unidentified voice with a distinctive Southern drawl explained to the Israeli Navy, "We're helping Arabs go against the US. Don't forget 9/11, guys."
The audio proves that the protesters were not peaceful human rights activists after all but rather Nazi-sympathizing, anti-American evil terrorist types.
Nonetheless, anti-semitic bloggers challenged the veracity of the audio clip, so the IDF released a new video that proves that the flotilla crew was even eviler than anyone had imagined. The disturbing video shows courageous Israeli marines armed only with maintenance equipment fearlessly defending the Jewish homeland from a horde of Nazi zombies. (WARNING: GRAPHIC SCENES OF ZOMBIE EMASCULATION)
Still, the Israel-hating bloggers persisted with their ridiculous challenges. They criticized the marines for using excessive force, and they questioned the appearance of snow-covered mountains on the horizon. Some even hypothesized that the video came from a Norwegian horror film.
Therefore, the infinitely patient IDF released one more video to settle the question once and for all. In this unedited clip, there is no snow, and the Israeli marines express deep moral qualms about killing the Nazi zombies even as one of their own is eaten alive. (WARNING: DISTURBING PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTIONS)