The Bishop and the Butterfly: Murder, Politics, and the End of the Jazz Age
    Michael Wolraich's picture

    North Korean Threat Generator ™

    By Michael Wolraich on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 3:47pm | Humor & Satire, World Affairs

    BREAKING: Having issued a number of bellicose threats in recent weeks, the government of North Korea has run dangerously low on epithets and histrionic adjectives. Though North Korea is the world's leading producer of hyperbole, the prolific output of the government controlled Central News Agency has outstripped their supply. Analysts fear that without wrathful verbiage, North Korea will resort to military force and patriotic parades.

    Concerned bloggers at dagblog.com hope to avert war and excessive pomp with a grassroots effort to supply North Korea with much-needed vocabulary. Please assist our efforts with the following North Korean Threat Generator™. Simply fill in the boxes below, click the friendly GENERATE MY THREAT button, and voila--a unique, unforgettable expression of wrath.

    IMPORTANT: We encourage readers to enter their theats in the comments section below. Because the advanced Threat Generator™ algorithm can be compromised by prior threat viewing, you must first complete your own theats before reading the comments.

    adjective
    plural noun
    plural noun
    adjective
    adjective
    noun
    noun
    noun
    verb
    plural noun
    adjective
    plural noun
    noun
    adjective
    adverb
    adjective
    		 number
    adjective
    noun
    adjective
    noun
    adjective
    plural noun
    plural noun
    noun
    plural noun
    verb
    plural noun
    number
    noun
    noun

    Your threat...

    The provocative moves now being carried on by the U.S. and the South Korean for war against North Korea have brought about situation to the Korean peninsula.

    It is a character of our People's Army and people and their intrinsic of counteraction to answer with . The U.S. attempt to us with threats and is .

    If the U.S. finally kindle the of war in disregard of this, our armed forces will annihilate the aggressors with the strength built up for years.

    We have means and capabilities to defeat any armed by enemies. The target of our is not only the U.S. aggression but also the South Korean who are willing to serve as their and Japanese and all others that behind the scenes.

    Our People's Army and will mete out a -fold punishment on anyone who dares to infringe upon the and of the Korean nation.

     

    Topics: 
    Humor & Satire
    World Affairs

    Comments

    Not sure if these get added automatically, but I'm assuming not, so here was mine:

    The poikilothermic provocative moves now being carried on by the U.S. squirrels and the South Korean mega-sharks for war against North Korea have brought about an evil situation to the Korean peninsula.

    It is a transparent character of our People's Army and people and their intrinsic shirt of counteraction to answer collar with chipmunk. The U.S. attempt to parse us with threats and bloggers is thorough.

    If the U.S. bases finally kindle the rhombus of war in disregard of this, our bovine armed forces will smoothly annihilate the aggressors with the equine strength built up for pi years.

    We have wicked means and capabilities to defeat any armed basketball by hoopy enemies. The target of our frood is not only the U.S. green aggression bay but also the South Korean packers who are willing to serve as their fudge and Japanese ovals and all others that circumnavigate behind the scenes.

    Our People's Army and bombers will mete out a e-fold punishment on anyone who dares to infringe upon the sideburn and jacket of the Korean nation.


    by Nebton on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 4:15pm

    The berserk provocative moves now being carried on by the U.S. Ozarks, and the South Korean clothespins for war against North Korea have brought about a resolute situation to the Korean peninsula.

    It is a ossified character of our People's Army and people and their intrinsic oatmeal of counteraction to answer wren with iPhone. The U.S. attempt to tease us with threats and Dagboys is dashing.

    If the U.S. pencils finally kindle the monkey of war in disregard of this, our magical armed forces will swimmingly annihilate the aggressors with the judicious strength built up for 5,691,578 years.

    We have woebegone means and capabilities to defeat any armed clownfish by meek enemies. The target of our coffee is not only the U.S. broken aggression butterflies but also the South Korean purses who are willing to serve as their proctologist and Japanese feathers and all others that climb behind the scenes.

    Our People's Army and strawberries will mete out a 4-fold punishment on anyone who dares to infringe upon the clog and sari of the Korean nation.


    by Orlando on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 6:55pm

    The bellicose provocative moves now being carried on by the U.S. ballistic missiles and the South Korean mandatory sanctions for war against North Korea have brought about a hyperbolic situation to the Korean peninsula.

    It is a pre-emptive character of our People's Army and people and their intrinsic madman of counteraction to answer fanatic with raving lunatic. The U.S. attempt to explode us with threats and neighboring countries is height-impaired.

    If the U.S. troglodites finally kindle the "boom" of war in disregard of this, our trifling armed forces will redundantly annihilate the aggressors with the militaristic strength built up for many, many years.

    We have paranoid means and capabilities to defeat any armed dictator by starving enemies. The target of our population is not only the U.S. bombastic aggression epithets but also the South Korean patriotic parades who are willing to serve as their AK-47s and Japanese generals and all others that invade behind the scenes.

    Our People's Army and democracies will mete out a infinity squared-fold punishment on anyone who dares to infringe upon the craziness and late-night TV of the Korean nation.

    (Good lord, I think I've actually channelled Kim Il Sung!)


    by acanuck on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 4:46am

    The purply provocative moves now being carried on by the U.S. flux capacitors and the South Koreanscallions for war against North Korea have brought about a turd-like situation to the Korean peninsula.

    It is a handy character of our People's Army and people and their intrinsic toejam of counteraction to answer book with iPod. The U.S. attempt to swim us with threats and tacos is jingly.

    If the U.S. beads finally kindle the fart of war in disregard of this, our yellow armed forces will deadlyannihilate the aggressors with the globular strength built up for 9/16ths years.

    We have janky means and capabilities to defeat any armed chicken by crispy enemies. The target of our asphalt is not only the U.S. Slovenian aggression forks but also the South Korean grasses who are willing to serve as their train and Japanese jugs and all others that skip behind the scenes.

    Our People's Army and curtains will mete out a 72-fold punishment on anyone who dares to infringe upon the flag and fungus of the Korean nation.


    by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 11:34am

    The yellow provocative moves now being carried on by the U.S. fingernails and the South Korean barbarians for war against North Korea have brought about an incoherent situation to the Korean peninsula.

    It is a incohate character of our People's Army and people and their intrinsic humunculus of counteraction to answer humunculus with humunculus. The U.S. attempt to humunculate us with threats and humunculi is... etc. etc.


    by DC Bound (not verified) on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 4:06pm

    Abusing the North Korean Threat Generator™ is grounds for loss of posting privileges and other unspecifiied penalties which may or may not include very, very hard labor in dagblog's alleged internment camps. I'm watching you.


    by Michael Wolraich on Fri, 06/26/2009 - 4:30pm