“My friends, over the years you have been by my side through many dramatic events. You have had my back during the good times and bad, and I appreciate that, but now I need you more than ever.

You see, currently there are a number of politically correct haters out there that have taken to calling me a racist. This attack on my character must not go unanswered. Because I am as far from a racist as you will ever meet. I only object with the policies of President Barack Obama.

Like when I sent out that e-mail portraying all the U.S. Presidents and portrayed Obama as two big eyes in a black box. In that circumstance, I was protesting Obama’s foreign policy decisions.

Or then there was that time I sent out that mass e-mail stating that “n[*****] rigs” should now be called “presidential solutions.” Obviously, that e-mail was directed at Obama’s socialist cash-for-clunkers program.

Or the time I created “Obama Bucks” to showcase my distaste for his economic decisions.

Or like when I took a few shots at his daughter Malia, or played “Barack the Magic Negro” on an endless loop, or compared Obama or his wife to gorillas, or called him “boy,” or joked about how he hates working white people.

Obviously all of the above come from my dismay over Obama’s health care reform plans. To see racism is to be politically correct to the nth degree.

So, my friends, I hope you stand by me. As we all know, I don’t have one racist bone in my body. I’m just a policy wonk who does his best to get real issues on the table. And, really, it’s not like these coy little literary devices that I and many Republicans use could have any type of negative effect.

Thank you for your time and I have retained counsel on this matter.”

–WKW