After a string of embarrassing election losses, Republicans have had enough. In a major address to the American people, Representative Jeb Hensarling of Texas, chairman of the underrated Republican Study Committee, has declared that Republicans leaders are feeling sober.

We have been sobered by three special election losses in a row. We are sobered by the massive cash advantage that Democrats have to get their message out.

After some sober study, the Republican Study Committee has concluded that Republicans need to harness all this soberness and come up with some messages and some unity. For example:

The party leadership in the House has already begun to roll out its own agenda under the rubric "The Change You Deserve," but some lawmakers have said the party needs to be more aggressive. Others are skeptical about overreacting to the elections or embracing too strong a conservative theme.

In order to encourage even more messages and unity from sober Republican lawmakers, the House leadership has encouraged them to make suggestions, arguing that the making of suggestions is "healthy and good." The members have soberly complied with the following proposals guaranteed to return American voters to the Republican fold:

Immediate moratorium on earmarks. Everyone loves bashing other people's earmarks. Unfortunately, anti-unity Republicans have rejected the suggestion, arguing that "it is a chief responsibility of representatives to win federal aid for local initiatives."

Constitutional amendment to prohibit federal spending from growing faster than the economy except in times of war or national emergency. Vague constitutional amendments that have no chance of passing never fail to excite the electorate.

Simplified flat tax. Truly, in these trying times of war and recession, Americans should not be distracted by complicated tax forms.

Tax credits for buying health insurance. Well, maybe our tax forms aren't that complicated after all.

More domestic energy production. Because the energy industry needs more tax credits, and Alaska has too many polar bears.

Streamlined terrorist surveillance program. Department of Homeland Security II.

Extend welfare work requirements to food stamps and housing assistance "so that those who are not old, young or disabled are either working in the private sector or serving in their community." After all, who doesn't love reading about malnourished children.

To summarize, the sobered Republican Study Committee has proposed nothing less than a Republican revolution: stalemates on earmark reform, empty amendment campaigns, inconsistent tax changes, energy industry handouts, environmental destruction, ineffective intelligence bureaucracies, and deprivations for poor families. As Rep. Hensarling explained, "We have to get back to our core identity."

For more details, please see the full article from the New York Times, 5/20/08.