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The 10 Rules for Everyone About John Derbyshire and Conservatives

John Derbyshire fills his kids heads full of racist crap, I am pretty sure he does that right after they place those white hoods upon their heads and go out for a good old fashioned cross-burning. If you want to read his BS piece of crap piece it is at a place called Taki Magazine, something I've never heard of but Dave Weigel says it is a magazine of one of the former founders of the American Conservative, let's call him "not Pat Buchanan". Not that Pat himself doesn't have problems with race, but this one isn't his.

Let's review some facts about Derbyshire, in February 2001 he wrote a piece that should have had him banned from anyone publishing any of his work for the rest of his life, in fact he should have been relegated to serving food to Klan meetings. This particular column  gave us real insight into Derbyshire. That column was all about his hatred for a young Chelsey Clinton and how it would be okay to exterminate her and her parents.  And of course he does this all under the guise of humor, I guess humor for conservatives is all about killing a young girl cause you don't like the politics of her parents. He is a real piece of work, and then yesterday he went a step further.

I am pretty sure he thinks he is an ironic, ancient hipster, who seems to believe he is teaching us all something, and he is mad that the Trayvon Martin murder has once again shone a light on institutional racism in America.

America of course is not a perfect place, and John Derbyshire is trying to make it even less perfect. And he isn't ironic or funny, which is why I've come up with my own 10 Rules for my kids, before the leave the house when they come across either John Derbyshire or other conservatives.

1. Among your fellow citizens are roughly 30 million or so who identify as conservative, and whom I shall refer to as idiots. The cumbersome term “Caucasian” seems to be in decline, thank goodness so instead we will use the term Klan Cracker. I think that says it all to  normal people.

2. American Caucasianscome from all over Europe but some of the worst among us were hatched under rocks and we know them today as conservatives, you will recognize them as those who can't get along with others, who don't' share and who believe in their own enormous IQ's. They are unlike their white counterparts because they've built their own reality and they stay in it, Bill Maher calls it, The Bubble. I call it hell.

3.  They appear to be just like every other white person until they open their pie-holes. Once they do you will instantly know the difference, a.) they think it is funny to threaten the children of people they don't like b.) They portray themselves as victims even though they own the world.

4. The default principle in everyday personal encounters is, that as a fellow citizen, with the same rights and obligations as yourself, any individual conservative is entitled to the same courtesies you would extend to a non-conservative citizen. That is basic good manners and good citizenship. In some unusual circumstances, however—e.g., paragraph (10h) below—this default principle should be overridden by considerations of personal safety. These guys love concealed weapons so it is best to avoid them at all cost. It could save your life.

5. As with any population of such a size, there is great variation among conservatives in every human trait (except, obviously, the trait of identifying oneself as conservative). They come fat, thin, tall, short, dumb, smart, introverted, extroverted, honest, crooked, athletic, sedentary, fastidious, sloppy, amiable, and obnoxious. There are conservative geniuses but there are more conservative morons. There are conservative saints but there are many more conservative psychopaths (i.e. George Zimmerman, Timothy McVeigh). In a population of thirty or more million, you will find almost any human type. Only at the far, far extremes of certain traits are there absences. There are, for example, no conservative with common sense, they only have anger and believe they are winners.

6. As you go through life, however, you will experience an ever larger number of encounters with conservative Americans. They seriously bring their conservatism with them everywhere, then they will call you names and once people tell them to STFU, they will claim the mantle of victimization and cry like babies. Assuming your encounters are random—for example, not restricted only to conservatives who are so self assured their worldview never changes—the Law of Large Numbers will inevitably kick in. You will observe that the means—the averages—of many traits are very different for conservative and regular Americans, as has been confirmed by methodical inquiries in the human sciences. Don't bother arguing with them, they are far to stupid to convince with facts, remember they've created their own world in the face of facts.

7. Of most importance to your personal safety are the very different means for antisocial behavior, which you will see reflected in, for instance they all carry concealed weapons, steer clear of them, always. They might get mad and shoot you for no apparent reason, i.e. see George Zimmerman.

8.  These differences are magnified by the hostility most conservatives feel toward everyone who doesn't believe as they do. Thus, while conservative-on-conservative violence is uncommon but does happen, see David Frum's expulsion from American Enterprise Institute.

9. A large cohort of conservatives—in my experience, around 90% —is ferociously hostile to everyone else and will go to great lengths to inconvenience or harm us. Remember they carry concealed weapons.

10. Avoid concentrations of conservatives not known to you personally, they simply cannot be trusted and they will threaten your life.

And with that I allow my kids out into the world, to consort with everyone but a conservative, in general they have low IQ's, reject facts and hate women and minorities of all kinds. Even though you are white don't get yourself in with their group, they require white hoods and cross burnings and that can only lead to trouble with the FBI.

CrossPosted @AngryLiberal

I guess we missed each other by five minutes. ha!

Good take though. I was going to go on this avenue but recalled Polonius and his advice to Laertes. ha

Hahahaha.... he is a herp-derp kind of guy. I know he thinks he was being ironic and cool, but he just came off as a huge racist, a creep and reminded me of that stupid column he did on how awesome it would be to kill Chelsey Clinton. 

He will stay a writer for the National Review tho' cause he perfectly reflects their philosophy.

Excuse me while I read your blog Dick!

On the chance that I decide to comment on what you have written, am I to take this piece at face value?

I have no power to tag my piece, I would definitely label it satire. I hope this helps you. blush

edited to add this:

I would also say I was mocking him, since all I did was replace "black people" with the term conservative, I copied him pretty closely.  I wouldn't go over to that site though, I don't think they need the page hits.

The worst part is, I didn't even include anything for his 10 (a-whatever), which are the most offensive part of what can only be called a uncontrolled rant. I know he thinks he is mocking African-Americans who believe give their boys "the Talk".  You know, ha ha ha, you people are so paranoid, there is no racism left in the country and justice is blind! Which we all know not to be factual.

He was pretty over-the-top offensive, so I thought he deserved a little mocking himself.

#SoSayWeAll <---------- tv reference, Battle Star Gallatica

Thanks for this. I was going to post about good old Derb (as his Nation review editor, Rich Lowry, refers to the columnist). Melissa Harris-Perry mentioned a video that gives sage advice on talking to a racist. Never call the racist  a racist, that will  only lead to a discussion that diverts from the garbage the racist is trying to sell. 

Women and enlightened men attacked Limbaugh because of his words rather than focusing mainly on his misogyny.  I remember that Limbaugh, like Derbyshire, attacked Chelsea Clinton. Misogyny and hatred of minorities seem intertwined.

The Derbyshire screed puts the National Review in an interesting situation. The magazine can fire Derbyshire and be viewed as bowing to the Liberals by a segment of their readership (View the supportive comments to Derbyshire's article). The magazine can keep Derbyshire on board with a statement that the would have preferred different wording. Keeping Derbyshire will just be further conformation that Conservatives have a significant racist segment in their midst. We don't need to call the racists "racist" by name, but we can read their words and get conformation of our opinion. MSNBC faced the same dilemma with Pat Buchanan. Keeping Pat on board ultimately became more trouble than it was worth

The Conservative need to smear a dead black teen goes hand in hand with what we read from Derbyshire. The GOP push to suppress minority votes and support of "Kill at Will" (aka "Stand Your Ground") laws is part of the same mindset..

The words of MLK on Barry Goldwater remain relevant in the upcoming election and the current Republican Party.

The Autobiography of Martin Luther King, Jr

JULY 16 1964 King asserts that nomination of Senator Barry Goldwater by Republicans will aid racists



The Republican Party geared its appeal and program to racism, reaction, and extremism. All people of goodwill viewed with alarm and concern the frenzied wedding at the Cow Palace of the KKK with the radical right. The "best man" at this ceremony was a senator whose voting record, philosophy, and program were anathema to all the hard-won achievements of the past decade.

It was both unfortunate and disastrous that the Republican Party nominated Barry Goldwater as its candidate for President of the United States. In foreign policy Mr. Goldwater advocated a narrow nationalism, a crippling isolationism, and a trigger-happy attitude that could plunge the whole world into the dark abyss of annihilation. On social and economic issues, Mr. Goldwater represented an unrealistic conservatism that was totally out of touch with the realities of the twentieth century. The issue of poverty compelled the attention of all citizens of our country. Senator Goldwater had neither the concern nor the comprehension necessary to grapple with this problem of poverty in the fashion that the historical moment dictated. On the urgent issue of civil rights, Senator Goldwater represented a philosophy that was morally indefensible and socially suicidal. While not himself a racist, Mr. Goldwater articulated a philosophy which gave aid and comfort to the racist. His candidacy and philosophy would serve as an umbrella under which extremists of all stripes would stand. In the light of these facts and because of my love for America, I had no alternative but to urge every Negro and white person of goodwill to vote against Mr. Goldwater and to withdraw support from any Republican candidate that did not publicly disassociate himself from Senator Goldwater and his philosophy.

While I had followed a policy of not endorsing political candidates, I felt that the prospect of Senator Goldwater being President of the United States so threatened the health, morality, and survival of our nation, that I could not in good conscience fail to take a stand against what he represented.

The celebration of final enactment of the civil rights bill curdled and soured. Rejoicing was replaced by a deep and frightening concern that the counter-forces to Negro liberation could flagrantly nominate for the highest office in the land one who openly clasped the racist hand of Strom Thurmond. A cold fear touched the hearts of twenty million Negroes. They had only begun to come out of the dark land of Egypt where so many of their brothers were still in bondage-still denied elementary dignity. The forces to bar the freedom road, to drive us back to Egypt, seemed so formidable, so high in authority, and so determined.
 

I came to some conclusion at 20 years of age or so that all religion was bad!

But shortly thereafter, I perceived that without religion, there would have been no Civil War and no end of slavery and no end of Jim Crowe and no hope for egalitarian aims.

So, I probably am more Deist than atheist although I certainly have become an anti-theist with regards to treatment of minorities and women.

I would certainly never embrace Islamic thought or Christian (right) thought or involve myself with the most terrorist Hindu organizations.

I do know this.

MLK, Jr was a devout Christian much like those defendants in the Amistad film.

So when the racist, fascist, corporatist, oligarchist pricks pretend to embrace MLK, Jr., I go nuts!

Oh let us all be free and let anyone do what they wish, let everyone say what they wish, and let anyone think what they wish.

Let us never attack another's belief.

This type of perspective amounts to anarchy!

For there will be those who believe that destroying the enemy is a proper aim.

For this religion will call for the annihilation of the weak.

For this religion will call for the end of free speech.

We must 'attack' the beliefs that injure others or we are merely spectators.

the end

 

Christians , Deists and Atheists do have to call out evil. The way many on the Right have approached the Trayvon Martin case is no different than the writings of Derbyshire. Zimmerman was threatened by Skittles and iced tea. Any motion can be interpreted as; "He was reaching for a gun". Any minority who physically rejects harassment by an armed individual can be killed. As I have said before, if Trayvon Martin's murder is upheld as legal, no minority is safe. There are a lot of microscopically endowed, fearful people out there ready to kill so that they can feel safe.

MLK Jr would not support the killing of Trayvon. Some on the Right have attempted to use Bill Cosby's critism of low hanging pants to suggest that Trayvon was responsible for his own death. Of course these wingnuts forget that Ennis Cosby was a victim of gun violence that had racial undertones.

It will be interestingly to see how wingnuts like Limbaugh, Coulter and Malkin respond. I even wonder if Juan Williams who supported Pat Buchanan will criticize the firing of Derbyshire.

I have to admit I am surprised by the National reviews action. Rich Lowry, et al should be commended for this.

I know this is supposed to be satire, and mimic Derbyshire.

However:

Caucasian = Klan Cracker???

It's not satire - it's a common pejorative or attitude used by liberals - even Caucasian liberals.

First reactions about Zimmerman were "that racist conservative white guy" before people realized he was Hispanic and voted Democrat.

PS - a Lulupalooza to Dick Day for noting that Christianity is probably what got the north to fight for an end to slavery - that a more laid-back non-religioius society probably wouldn't have had that fervor. Whether that was good or bad is another debate - but gives an interesting angle to events, as well as our thinking about religion.

To RMRD - thanks for the nice MLK quote.

 

MLK would hold modern Conservative's feet to the fire. Allen West and Herman Cain have completely ignored the racist-toned commentary in the GOP. On the other hand, Murkowski and a few other GOP women are beginning to speak out about misygynistic actions by the GOP.

Zimmerman was more of a danger that night than Trayvon. The concern about trying Zimmerman in public was not in evidence during media frenzies over Nicole Brown Simpson, Laci Peterson, Nicole Holloway and Jon Benet Ramsay. Slander of the murder victims was not the norm.

Oh Mah Gawd, what will I do my biggest fan disapproves!

#AndNotASingleFuckWasGivenToday

Yes, there never seems to be a single solitary fuck given re: racist or sexist attitudes towards white males. Blow me over with a feather.

I feel like such a victim!

When you listen to bad rap music, you get depressed. When you get depressed. When you get depressed you feel like a victim. When you feel like a victim, you only see women as female dogs. When you see women as female dogs, you can't stop even when you are married to Beyonce and have a beautiful female daughter. Women are just dogs to you. When you see women as dogs, you will even bring a talent like Maya Angelou into your depression and add her beautiful poetry to your profanity.

Don't listen to bad rap music. Don't be depressed Go old school. It's an anti-depressant.

 

 

 

tmac,

   I was extremely naive to believe that with the election of President Obama we would be enjoying a new era of less inbred ignorance and nonsensical negativity towards one another.  I forgot a lesson I learned years ago....

    People utilize behaviors as long as they perceive 'it's working' for them.  When it begins to not deliver the same 'rewards' as in the past and they feel threatened by the change in the results, they increase their actions, sure doing more of the old is all that's needed to 'make it work for them again'.  Until they hit the wall, they will not modify their actions.  

    The more we have posts like this and positively confront the ignorance and senseless bigotry, the better for us all and the worse for those who still choose to engage in destructive behaviors/actions.

    I was stunned about Grassley calling President Obama stupid via twitter.  The 'You Lie' shout out and Grassley's (and others) overt disrespect to POTUS, well, begs the query, would 'they' do this if he was white?  I hate that I even have to ask this!

It's weird isn't it Auntie. It no longer shocks me tho'.

At the very least he deserves to be mocked.

Here is a perspective on Sanford police department and it's past history with the black community.

I found the whole thing troubling, but this part only underlines the lack of training it seems that anyone at the Sanford Police department has:

Investigators pushed Austin to identify the man on the ground as Zimmerman, who was wearing a red jacket, he and his mother said. But he said it was just too dark and he was too far away to be sure.

You should never try to lead a witness — unless you're a lawyer, of course.

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