Clinton Campaign Suggests New Resolution to Florida and Michigan

    On MSNBC minutes ago, Clinton campaign spokesman Howard Wolfson suggested that Sens. Clinton and Obama meet in the Capital's recreation complex and bowl three games. 

    The first would be a warm-up, at which each candidate would drink a pitcher of the beer of their choosing.  "Everyone has heard of Sen. Clinton matching Sen. McCain drink-for-drink," said Wolfson.  "Sen. Obama just does not seem to have the experience necessary to handle a 16-pound bowling ball from Pitcher One."

    Once warmed-up, the second game would determine the Michigan delegation.  Wolfson suggested that the winner would get the entire delegation and the popular vote from February would count in final tallies.  Finally, the third game would set the resolution for Florida.

    Wolfson expressed confidence that Sen. Clinton would win all three games and that any unpledged delegates should vote for whoever had the highest series score. 

    It was expected that Sen. Obama's campaign would suggest one-on-one on a basketball court.  Wolfson anticipated this and retorted that bowling was the one sport where gender, race nor height would favor either candidate.

    Wolfson suggested that Sen. Obama's recent weak showing on Pennsylvania lanes did not prompt this new challenge.  "We felt that this would be an appropriate response to the 2000 book "Bowling Alone" and would enable Democrats to unite around a common sport.  Plus,the Capital bowling alley is an ideal location, since they came up with the set of novelty pins featuring the likenesses of Bush Administration officials in January 2007."

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