MrSmith1's picture

    Thirty Woodstocks ...

    I just don't think people can get their heads around how ridiculous it is that Donald Trump is saying he is going to deport 12 million people.   So ... let's put things in perspective, shall we?  I mean, the logistics of this 'grand event' should make everyone laugh this moron back to his gold lame penthouse in Trump Tower.

    Deporting 12 million people is the equivalent of deporting every person at 30 Woodstocks.  That's right, THIRTY times the number of people that attended fucking WOODSTOCK! There were only 400,000 people at Woodstock.  This is 30 times that number!! 

    Then, at 72 riders per bus, which does not account for allowing any luggage, that would require 166,667 buses (and 166, 667 drivers) to drive these illegals to where-ever it is we are taking them.  Of course, lining up 166,667 buses for loading would require, at 45 feet per school bus, 7,500,015 feet or more than 1,420 miles of bumper to bumper buses, which is a line of buses that would stretch from New York City, NY all the way to the outskirts of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.   Pity the poor New York City illegal resident whose name begins with "S" that finds out that the buses are alphabetically arranged and he has to get to St. Louis in order to get aboard his personal deportation device.  Are we having fun yet? 

    And then, there's the people involved in organizing this event ... Well, each bus, will of course, require a security detail to make sure everyone stays on the bus ... at 2 per bus, that's 333,334 security guards just for the buses.  That is approximately 10 times the number of the entire New York City Police force.  If that's too many, cut it in half and you're still requiring 5 times the number of the entire New York City Police force.   Now we haven't even begun to discuss how much gasoline this is going to take, or what country is going to put out the welcome sign when it sees 166,667 buses pulling up to its border crossing station.  Flip a coin, it's either Canada or Mexico ... unless you equip the buses with floatation devices and outboard motors, which is going to add a couple hundred thousand dollars to the cost of each bus ... times 166,667.   Now, who wants to be responsible for calling McDonalds and ordering 12 million cheeseburgers and coca-colas to go?   Oh wait... We'll make them pack their own lunches. Which means we'll have to allow for a few extra buses to carry 12 million lunches, but never mind that. Maybe we could deport 100 a day 36,500 a year, that would take us just under 329 years ... assuming that the 12 million figure doesn't increase over the course of 328 years.    (sigh)



    Lol, Mr. Smith. Thanks for sorting that all out.  Perspective is everything!

    That's 960 bands!  We don't have that much talent. Maybe can get someone to DJ some of the events? Can dub Alvin Lee's "I'm Goin' Home", Richie Havens' "I'm a Stranger Here", Sweetwater's "Motherless Child", Arlo Guthrie's "Walking Down the Line",  The Band & Joe Cocker's "I Shall be Released" and Joan Baez doing "Take Me Back to the Sweet Sunny South", Quill doing "Driftin'", Santana doing "You just Don't Care", John Sebastian's "Darlin' Be Home Soon" backed with "I Had a Dream", Keef Hartley's "Spanish Fly" and "Leaving Trunk/Just to Cry", Canned Heat's "On the Road Again", Creedence's "Green River", Sly doing "You can Make It If you Try"and "Everyday People", The Who's "Amazing Journey", Jefferson Airplane's "3/5 of a Mile in 10 Seconds", Johnny Winter's "You Done Lost Your Good Thing Now/Mean Mistreater", Bert Sommer, "The Road to Travel", Blood Sweat & Tears' "I Stand Accused", Crosby, Stills & Nash's "49 Bye-Byes", Paul Butterfield's "Love March", Sha Na Na doing "Get a Job", and Hendrix closing with "Hear My Train a Comin".

    And of course ... 30 times the number of "Roadies" and "Groupies" ... and I didn't even mention the whole Port-o-Potty scenario.

    30 Woodstocks? Damn it Smith, what are you trying to do? Next thing you know liberals will be all like, Woodstock was great! 30 of them would be stupendous. I'm votin' for Trump.

    Arrrrggggghhhh!!!  Noooooooooooo!!  Would it help if I changed it to 40 Altamonts? 

    Better, except that Trump could use this to suggest using the Hell's Angels as his "humane deportation" enforcers.

    Excellent piece, and it does give real perspective. For those who are too young to remember Woodstock, or are old enough but are so lame in their little narrow brains that they only think it would be fine to get rid of all those hippies;  you could do the numbers all over again using the number of people who attend the Super Bowl (just north of 100,000 last time).  So that would be, um 120 Super Bowls?  Even the dimmest of bulbs can wrap their heads around that.  Maybe even get some creative commercials together to inform the 11 million about what is going down and how.  I can just see the Budweiser tear-jerker with all the citizen-children tearfully watching mom and dad getting dragged off to, what is to them, a foreign land.

    But I think I am seeing a glimmer of hope after all.  Considering your scenario, you could definitely make a convincing case for a really world class train system.  Busses, schmusses!  To expound on Trump's motif, you get the "illegals" to build high-speed trains throughout the country, and then let them be the first to ride them, right on out of the country.  Maybe we could even get Mexico to pay for the trains instead of the wall.  

    Thanks for such a practical explanation of Trump's ?plan?

    No, please - not Mexican football. Anything but more sports.

    Toles on the deportation squad:

    Numbers seem daunting? He could pull a Cruz and just eliminate the Dept. of Arithmetic.

    Ha!  I suppose the appropriate answer would be to say that Cruz' solution just doesn't add up.  Thanks for the laugh.

    The use of Woodstock Units to measure the scope of work makes sense because the operation is going to take a lot of Pot. You better get those 12 million people very stoned before trying to force them to go to Juarez to seek the exciting job opportunities waiting for them there.

    Thank goodness none of those hippies have guns or have friends and family outside the busses with guns. Oh, man, I suddenly feel dizzy and paranoid. I have an intense craving for caramel popcorn. Thinking about Trump's plan has given me a contact high!!

    I don't know, if you give the illegals pot, you're going to have 12 million people with 'the munchies', and the buses will have to keep stopping at every 7-11, WaWa and Kwik-e-Mart enroute ... leaving no slurpies, corn-dogs or beef jerky for REAL Americans.

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