Mortimus's picture


    Let me set the stage for you: It's a frigid fall day. You and your pals are locked in a 13-13 tie after gutting out a game of pigskin for the last 3 and a 1/2 hours. Sadly, several of your best buds haven't made it this far - cracked endoskeleton, torn ligaments, and dehydration. Most of you can barely breathe. Your jersey tips an 8 extra lbs from when you started, loaded up with epidermis juice and a dab of crimson (some of which has your blood type). You've told everyone the game will be done by 4:30, but no one is throwing in the towel just yet. But just as the "never say die" thought breaststrokes through your mind the minute hand strikes 6 and Jimmy's mother implores everyone off the field from her nearby parked Winnebago. Both teams stampede off, change into their suit and sit down to a nice hot bowl of Campbell's Chunky Soup content with the draw. Pretty ridiculous, right?

    Now pull out and imagine that 70,000 people are in this park. A few million more are getting the feed on their couch, tens of millions have been wagered on the game's outcome and several hundred million in revenue potentially hang in the balance for the municipality of the winning team.
    You think you'd let the game go on?

    The sports world is killing Donovan McNabb now for saying he didn't know the game could end in a tie, but they're completely missing the point.

    1. Do you ever expect your QB to consider playing for a tie? Do you even want that thought in his head playing against one of the bottom-3 teams in the league?
    2. In a game that's in sudden-death overtime do you think he isn't trying his hardest to end the game every second?
    3. How often do you check your team's schedule and think to yourself "gee, I think we might be able to score the same amount of points as them."

    Sure, the idea of him not knowing a pretty basic rule comes off as pretty ignorant but I'm just not buying it. He was in the league in 2002 when one occurred and I'm pretty sure he knows what the "T" stands for next to the "W" and "L" in the standings column. I find it hard to swallow that Donovan hasn't played his fair share of video games considering he's graced the cover on a few occasions (Side note: If I was ever on the cover of Madden whenever I had a friend over I'm flaunting that thing in his face - "oh, my goodness, however did my Madden Game get into the Pulp Fiction DVD case") Donovan's a smart guy and beyond media savvy, he's simply drawing a flood of media attention to highlight the stupidity of such a rule by pleading ignorance.

    And why not? In a game considered to be our modern day version of Gladiators (not the spandex wearing kind) why are we calling the game early? Football can soldier on through torrential downpours, sleet, hail, rain, hurricane winds but not a 75 minute time period? Can the players not handle it? Can guys who go out there with reconstructed faces, shredded rotator cuffs and broken digits severed off during halftime not handle the extra exercise?

    The NFL likes to pound their chest over physically inferior sports like the MLB, but oddly enough baseball doesn't believe in ties. Games have gone 25 innings and 8 hours and they still didn't blow the whistle...err play Sinatra over the loud speaker. That in a sport where the defense has a commanding advantage and the offense has to hit a 95MPH moving projectile. Theoretically, a baseball game can go on forever. ESPN isn't cutting into its broadcast to go live to a 0-0 baseball game in extra innings. But name me the last time an overtime settled an NFL game of goose eggs?

    In football, all it takes is a missed tackle, a bad foot plant in turf, or one perfectly executed play. That's sort of what makes the NFL so exciting (and successful) the outcome of the game is always so flimsy. So why the hell would you ever call it a draw?

    As George Carlin's baseball/football bit goes:

    Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end - might have extra innings.
    Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to sudden death.

    ...unless of course the clock runs which case everyone goes home unhappy.



    Strangely enough, I actually think I know what you are talking about. I turned the TV on at seven and pulled my computer onto my lap to wait for the dumb game to end and 60 Minutes to start. However, having grown up in a house that was all sports, all the time, I do actually understand football, even though I find it satisfying to pretend that I don't. I wasn't really paying attention, but I did notice that one team scored late and was irritated to realize that they would go into overtime and 60 Minutes would be delayed even further. Didn't they know that David Axlerod was on? Jerks.

    Imagine my surprise when they lined up for the 2 point conversion. They blew it and I got my Axlerod.

    I vastly prefer baseball. Once, I stayed at Wrigley Field late into the night. It was in the first couple of years after they installed the lights and the organ player had to stop playing after 11, due to an agreement with the neighborhood. It was okay though. The fans that stayed sung our own version of the 14th inning stretch. Soon after, one of the Cubs hit a home run and it was game over. They were playing the Mets. It was awesome.

    It's not surprising your fondest sports memory occurred in extra extra innings. If that were a football game those drunken fans would have been hauled off in flashing lights 30 minutes earlier for loitering. On a side side note: Teams should be forced to go for 2 after every touchdown. Extra-points are another one of football's biggest head-scratchers. I'm not sure what purposes they serve besides extra fantasy points, kicker confidence and the justification for the name "foot"ball

    Actually, my fondest sports memory was a USA vs. Brazil soccer friendly at Soldier field about a year and a half ago. It was a gorgeous day, much too warm for September, the (free) tickets fell into our laps the night before, we were 15 rows off the field in the corner, and I'm pretty sure that every Brazilian living in the Midwest drove in for the game.

    The United States lost, of course. But they held their own better than the final score indicated. And watching Kaka fly down the wing and Ronaldinho dance through the crowd are two things I won't ever forget. It looks good on TV. It looks amazing in person.

    Frank Castillo's almost-no-hitter is a close second.

    Ronaldinho's ball skills are sensational as is Kaka but he needs to work on his showmanship. Though in my limited soccer viewing career I'm taking Thierry Henry of 6 years ago. He's as close to a 'gimme' as any player I've ever seen in open space, and the first player to let me in on the beauty of the game. Before I saw him, my opinion of soccer had been that Simpsons bit where the Spanish announcer screams over the radio while the team kicks the ball back-and-forth for a few minutes.

    I prefer Ryan Giggs or Paul Scholes to be honest. I like that "just get the job done" sensibility. Henry is okay, but he's a bit of a whiner. Also, look at how Arsenal took off after he left. I think he was holding them back.

    For me, Brazil plays a completely different game than the rest of the world. There is joy and dancing in their play. For regular soccer, I like the English game. No whining, no crying, and plenty of painful losses. I'm a life-long Cubs fan, what else can I say?

    I agree, I was always amazed how Paul Scholes got it done even while looking like a young balding Ron Howard. Giggs, however, I never understood. Maybe because I saw him when he was older but he just never impressed me. Henry did just fine with Arsenal - didn't they go undefeated about 5 years ago with him! I never looked at him as a whiner (though it was clear the opposing D always tried to take his legs out), but I chalked up his whining later on as a result of his diminished skills and his frustration with them. Like Michael Jordan at age 38.

    You could be right about Henry. I'm a recent convert to the EPL and didn't see him play when he was younger. What I love about Giggs is his ability to understand the entire field and to be in the right place at the right time, which got especially important as he got older. I think he's a great leader on the field. Over the last two years Man Utd. suffered when he wasn't playing, IMO. This year, I can't say. I was totally consumed by the election and haven't watched one game. I'm looking forward to spending some time over the holidays in this great little Irish pub, watching with a Guiness in hand.

    Good choice on the EPL. I struggle to watch any of the others (though they don't televise the Spanish league). Man U. has been my de facto team as well though the thought of it makes me feel like a bandwagon New York Yankee/Dallas Cowboy fan. The other Ronaldo is well worth your time, though he's probably the cockiest athlete I've seen since the Fab 5, and I wish Rooney was a hockey player for a game just so I could see him legally throw down.

    Yes, Cristiano is amazing and totally freaking cocky. But I guess when you're that good, you get to be. He kind of weirds me out though. Everybody raves about how good looking he is, but I think he's a Monet...don't get too close or else eeeww.

    September 2007 is most definitely not a year and a half ago. Boy, has this been one long year!

    Mine: Stl Cardinals 3, New York Mets 1. Game 7. National League Championship Series, Shea Stadium. October 2006. I still do not believe it (the whole time I was at the game, I was clearly picturing the end of the game with the accumulated masses rushing the field to celebrate). What sheer joy!! Of course, that game may have helped lead to the beginning of the end of my 5-plus-year relationship, (toa Mets fan) but even that worked out for the best ...

    Haha, I didn't know that. Great deadman trivia question. I wasn't even aware that the Cardinals were involved in that game. All I remember is Endy Chavez getting screwed out of being Willie Mays by Beltran letting strike 3 go by with the bat on his shoulders.

    omg, the chavez catch. forgot about that for a sec. all game i was so secure in my knowledge of a mets victory that the end-of-game crowd-rushing-field celebration was playing regularly in my head, but after the chavez catch, that depressing image became so real, so clear, it turned into a stunning HD hologram. There was NO WAY the Cards were going to win after that highest-light reel catch. NO WAY

    wainwright became my favorite player after that night.

    We interrupt this thread to raise the important matter of German dwarf [deleted], since it's verboten by certain other bloggers who know who they are.

    What in hell is wrong with the word [deleted]?  What's wrong with actual [deleted], for that matter?


    there is more wrong with the word porn than there is with actual porn ... and there aint nothing wrong with the word either ...

    Nothing wrong is a bit of a stretch, don't you think? I mean, the acting sucks.

    This is a test ... is someone really deleting the word porn???

    I think Genghis is, but not because he has a particular objection to [deleted]. He just needs something to whine about.

    Wait, so is it not pr0n that's been deemed offensive?  It's the homonym for what-comes-before-sieben?

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