In America, the weekends are for many things – spending time with family, enjoying outdoor activities and sports and just relaxing. It’s also the determined time for Republicans to Concern Troll the brains out of their Democratic opposition.

For those on the outs. let me allow Wise Geek to give an example of concern trolling:

Possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen--no further commentary necessary.

On a new Discovery Channel documentary called Stephen Hawking’s Universe, the legendary theoretical physicist advised that if we countered intelligent life, it might just be best to ignore them.

David Duke, former Leader of the KKK and hater of all not like him, has finally come out, stood strong and delivered for the Tea Party.

Via Crooks & Liars:

As Washington discusses financial reform laws regarding Wall Street – laws that are concerning numbers much, much larger than Health Care Reform – the Tea Partiers are curiously quiet as their Republican Overlords decide what next to do with them.

They obviously have a problem. No likes Wall Street right now and everyone but serving U.S. Republicans believe something should be done about it.

A while back, I proposed that the U.S. should trade Texas to Mexico for Cancun and golfer Lorena Ochoa. It seemed like a fair deal in theory, until Ochoa abruptly retired from golf, rendering the deal un-doable.

So, you, like so many oth­ers, have spent the recent months on the road with a mot­ley crew of Mensa mem­bers in 18th cen­tury gar­ments, protest­ing against health care, tax cuts, edu­ca­tion, lamp-posts, and shop­ping carts with one miss­ing wheel.

Nothing to see here.

–WKW

Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

LOUISVILLE – Billy-Bob Wolfrum was pleased that Dr. McBride had removed the tick from the bottom of his foot, that had given him so much trouble. Wolfrum was much less pleased when Dr. McBride refused the KFC Double-Down Sandwich for treatment.

Hey kids, it's me, Bill. I hope you like the headline to this post, as it will be coming in book form soon. And not the Genghis translation of soon, which equals 14 weeks. He's like a Brazilian that way.

It’s April 20, 2010, and let me call it now – President Barack Obama will easily win re-election in 2012. Any discussion you hear about the 2012 presidential election is just a way to wile away the hours between the next Lindsay Lohan and/or Kim Kardashian news.

There’s three indisputable reasons to call this race so early:

1) The economy will be better in 2011 than it is now.

NEW YORK/ROME — Catholic Pope Benedict XVI has taken over all responsibilities at troubled Goldman Sachs, today. His new title will be Chief Holy Authority (CFA) or just “Pope.”

The Pope will keep his duties with the Catholic Church while working simultaneously at Goldman Sachs. The Pope stated he saw no problems for the giant financial firm that is currently in trouble with the SEC.

Easily the best thing about being a blogger is the ability to control your image. I know there are many bloggers out there who will scream “I keep it real,” but won’t mention the time and details necessary for said realness.

Myself, for instance. I come off much nicer as a blogger than as a person. And to be honest, it’s not like I come off all that nice as a blogger. I suppose what I’m getting at here, is that I want you all to know more about me.

I’ve been to jail but not prison.

I may have committed consensual sodomy in Texas at a time it was illegal.

Recently,  Matthew Clemmens, 21, of Cherry Hill, N.J., was charged with assault, reckless endangerment, disorderly conduct and other offenses because he chose to show his displeasure to an 11-year-old girl by vomiting on her in the stands at a Philadelphia Phillies’ game.

Now, while I’m sure Philadelphia management is smart enough to warn children that they have no responsibility over intentional vomit attacks, that’s neither here nor there.

This is an email I’m planning to send to this guy who we will call “Phil” who sent me a friendship request on Facebook.  If you have any suggestions on a better way to word my displeasure, do share - you’ll have to trust me that this guy deserves to be talked to like this.

Dear Phil,

Rep. Michele Bachmann’s (R-MN), known for her invented attacks on President Barack Obama, today announced that Hollywood is one big Hitler, that adorable little dogs are demons and that Jesus Christ does her hair.

"He is just so good," said Bachmann.

Thus will all be discussed next week, along with an exclusive 20-minute interview with John McCain while he bottle feeds a baby deer, next week on Meet the Press.

--WKW

When Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman recently stated that President Barack Obama needed to nominate a more conservative justice to fill the vacancy created by the resignation of Justice John Paul Stevens, many liberals blanched. After all, the U.S.

NEW ORLEANS – Republican National Committee chair Michael Steele closed the Southern Republican Leadership Conference with a speech that he hoped would help him mute recent criticisms of his leadership, as well as calls for his resignation.

WASHINGTON – In a bold effort to try and combat the far-right conservatives George W. Bush nominated to the U.S. Supreme Court, President Barack Obama today announced that he is nominating actor Sean Penn to the SCOTUS seat soon to be vacated by Justice Paul Stevens.

“Over the past decade we have seen the Supreme Court move decidedly right of center,” said Obama. “We feel that Justice Sean Penn will help even things out.”

AUGUSTA – Following a thrilling Masters tournament that saw Phil Mickelson win his third Green Jacket, Masters Chairman Billy Payne spoke out about U.S. Senator John McCain.