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Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, duh

by Larry Jankens 6/12/2009 - 12:23 pm   |


Remember the movie Snakes On A Plane? If you're like me, you heard about it on the internet and thought to yourself: This is too ridiculous of a movie to actually exist. Then you clicked on a couple clicks and found out that indeed, it did exist. There is something amusing and attractive about films that push the boundaries of campiness (or is it campyness?).

With this in mind, I was surfing the net and found the new Debbie Gibson movie. Yes, you heard me right, the new Debbie Gibson movie. Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, is a straight to DVD movie in which only Debbie can save humanity from these oversized troublemakers with her… um… I’m unsure of the attributes she has that makes her be able to handle both a mega-shark and a giant octopus, but none the less, Debbie Gibson saves the day.

Like Snakes On A Plane the title of this movie tells you what to expect. A big f*cking shark fighting with a gigantic goddamn octopus.

Debbie’s plan to defeat these oversized troublemakers is simple: get Lorenzo Lamas and his oversized pony tail and then convince the mega shark and giant octopus to fight one another. She’s gonna go all Don King on their asses.  I can only assume hilarity and mediocre acting will ensue. 

I don’t think I will actually watch this movie, but I LOVE the trailers. Check them below.


Hey let's fly to Europe, what's the worst that could happen? Oh, this.

I am taking Giant Octopus, even at 3-5 odds.  I just think Giant Octopus has more powers.  Mega Shark, though he is Mega, merely has the teeth, speed, and one strong tailfin.  Giant Octopus has eight strong legs, and wiles.  Octopi are smart, and no doubt, Giant Octopus is Giant Smart.  In sum, eight arms are better than none.  When Giant Octopus and Mega Shark duel in the deep, does the film play I Think We're Alone Now?  Or is that Tiffany?  The first part where the voice over says "Children Bee-hay-ay-ve!" could be a nice accompaniment to their initial engagement in battle.

But that's just what I think.

by Articleman 6/12/2009 - 1:14 pm

See, this is exactly the type of dogmatic thinking that I've come to expect from the pro-Octopus wing. It's always legs with you people, despite the fact that there is zero evidence of more legs ever having made a difference in a classic monster battle. The more-leg theory was totally discredited after Godzilla kicked Kumonga's spidery behind in Son of Godzilla. If you want to waste your money on Giant Octopus, go ahead, but I'll remind readers that this was the same guy who predicted an Obama win in Georgia.

by Michael Wolraich 6/12/2009 - 4:48 pm (re: Articleman)

Like Georgia, it's a numbers thing.  If Giant Octopus had even one or two more arms, the math would work.

by Articleman 6/14/2009 - 8:49 pm (re: Genghis)

just totally effin awesome! if debbie - or im sorry deborah - gibson gets naked, this would totally be worth a rental.

by Deadman 6/12/2009 - 1:26 pm

Easily, best dagblog ever.

Now, if it was Giant Dij vs Giant Octopus, well... that might be even better. MIGHT. But only because they'd be more evenly matched.

Because Giant Shark would totally kick Octobutt. Because of the teeth. Which would bite off the Octopus' arms.

Plus, it can fly. 

You are hooped, Octopus fans.

by quinn esq 6/12/2009 - 2:51 pm

I could TOTALLY take Giant Octopus.  What's he gonna do?  Voluntarily sever one of his arms to escape?  Put up an ink cloud? Octopusses have no offense.  Mega Shark will demolish him.

by dijamo 6/12/2009 - 8:33 pm (re: quinn the eskimo)

You guys make me laugh, and for that I love you.

But if we're swimming and the giant shark happens by, I'm pretty sure I can out swim all y'all.

by Orlando 6/12/2009 - 9:38 pm

Programming note:  Right now on the syfy neywork Mega-Shark vs. Giant Octopus is on.  Mega-Shark as predicted is kicking butt.  And this is easily the worst movie EVER made.  Sadly due to a brutal combo of post-Thanksgiving turkey coma and a severe case of rubbernecking, I can't bring myself to change the channel.  Aaaaarrrrgh.

by dijamo 11/28/2009 - 7:25 pm

Just part of our fiendish plan.

Because oh yessssss, Mega-Shark heard your mockery. And now?

Revenge. Best served... cold.

by quinn esq 11/28/2009 - 8:14 pm (re: dijamo)

With a side of giant octopus sushi.

by Orlando 11/28/2009 - 11:47 pm (re: quinn the eskimo)

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