William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Democrats to slow down on Health care reform – offer full coverage to one guy

    WASHINGTON – The White House and Congressional Democrats – aware of building anger in their base – have announced they plan to go forward with a modified Health Care Reform Bill that they feel will certainly make its way to President Barack Obama’s desk.

    The new Bill will include a robust public option, but will only cover one person – Tim Johnson of Tupelo, Miss.

    “This is fucking great,” said Johnson, 37.

    After the Massachusetts Senate election of Republican Scott Brown, leading Democrats quickly met on Capitol Hill, looking for ways to adjust the bill to an increasingly changing political landscape.

    “What we need to do is to stay true to our promise of offering more people the opportunity to have full health insurance coverage,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. “By offering Tim Johnson a lifetime of affordable health insurance, we believe we have met that promise.”

    Johnson, an unemployed construction worker, said he was excited about the new bill, and that he most assuredly would vote Democrat in any upcoming election.

    “A lifetime of affordable health insurance will really make things easier for me,” said Johnson, who has few medical problems with the exception of bursitis in his shoulder. “So now, I got that going for me.”

    Under the new reform bill, health insurance companies will not be allowed to drop Johnson for any pre-existing conditions. The bill also offers Johnson the opportunity to join a Government-sponsored health care consortium that will be created just for him, if he so requires it. Ironically, the bill won’t force insurance companies to treat bursitis.

    "If you look back at my campaign promises, you will see that this covers it," said President Barack Obama. "This is truly a change we can all believe in. Especially Tim Johnson of Tupelo, Miss."

    The bill will cover only Johnson, and not his wife or three small children. Johnson said he understood.

    “I’ve raised my children to be rugged individualists,” said Johnson. “They’ll have to make it on their own, or at least fight to get a reform bill of their own.”

    Still, the bill is no slam-dunk. Senate Republicans have vowed to block the legislation.

    “We feel this is a travesty,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. “This is socialism, plain and simple. Even if it’s just for one guy.”


    Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles


    You're on a roll, Wolfie.

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