The Bishop and the Butterfly: Murder, Politics, and the End of the Jazz Age
    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Ahmadinejad has breakfast , proving he's a double-Hitler and Iran must be attacked

    By William K. Wolfrum on Mon, 02/27/2012 - 11:28am | Politics, Humor & Satire

    WASHINGTON – Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had breakfast today, leading most foreign policy experts to agree that Iran is now more dangerous than ever.

    Reports from Iran state that Ahmadinejad dined at 8 a.m. on pita bread, feta cheese and assorted fruits. Sources from within Iran have stated this breakfast is a sure sign that Iran now is fully nuclear capable and prepared to begin a full-scale nuclear war against the United States and Israel.

    “Ahmadinejad is insane. Really insane. Just incredibly insane and suicidal," said foreign policy expert Bill Kristol. “The time to act against him is now.”

    While many Republicans have harshly criticized U.S. President Barack Obama’s handling of Iran, even more have heaped scorn upon him for what they consider a cool relationship with Israel.

    “Ahmadinejad is a psycho maniac who now has the capability of dropping nukes all over America,” said foreign policy expert David Frum. “If Obama doesn’t attack Iran now, people in Des Moines will disappear in a mushroom cloud.”

    Despite the fact that most experts have claimed that Iran is still several years away from building a workable nuclear bomb, foreign policy experts have latched on to Ahmadinejad’s breakfast as proof that the time for reckoning is now.

    “First, he eats breakfast, then he kidnaps American and Israeli children and feeds them to pigs,” said foreign policy expert Robert Kagan. “If we don’t launch an all-out first-strike attack on Iran right now, Obama should be arrested for treason.”

    While the majority of Americans are now regarded as war-weary and tired of meddling in other nation’s affairs, American foreign policy experts have concluded that once again the opinion of the American people is moot.

    “What Americans think makes no difference,” said foreign policy expert Jennifer Rubin. “What does make a difference is that Ahmadinejad is more dangerous than a stable of Hitlers and that he will make the Holocaust look like a fender bender. He’s insane and we must attack now.”

    –WKW

    Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

    Topics: 
    Politics
    Humor & Satire

    Comments

    Greenwald is going nuts over this and I do not blame him one bit.

    I am having problems grasping all this.

    You know I caught some old tape of Secretary Albright in 1999? at some panel discussion on CSPAN and she was talking about getting rid of Sadaam and the crowd groaned and booed and....and well Madeleine was taken aback.

    So there was more going on in January of 2001 when w bush announced to his newly picked Cabinet that we were goin into Iraq; find a way.

    So the chickenhawks won out whilst our Prez was playing golf for eight months and then 9/11/01 happened and the chickenhawks all had egg on their faces and made up excuses and used the GodblessAmerica propaganda to make themselves look good and beef up war contractors (especially dicky's company) and then Rummy looked out the windows of the Pentagon and reported said: WELL I GUESS HE FOUND A WAY!

    So now we are out of Iraq but still spend billions over there to corporate mercenary armies whilst the repubs scream: AMERICA IS WEAK!

    So then the Newt says: APOLOGIZE, WELL FUCK AFGHANISTAN LET US PULL OUT ALL OUR TROOPS.

    So the repubs all say: LET'S NUKE IRAN AND SAVE OUR LORD JESUS CHRISTE'S BIRTH PLACE AND....

    I know the chickenhawks thought that a ten year war in the ME would make their constituent arms dealers a lot of bucks and that only 1/10 of American soldiers would be lost comparing all this to our experience in Vietnam where we singlehandedly lost 58,000 souls and 250,000 young minds and eventually brought down the Berlin Wall and saved the world from Communism forever.

    The American People will believe anything.

    the end


    by Richard Day on Mon, 02/27/2012 - 3:03pm

    So, I'm trusting Obama on this because, so far so good.  He's managing multilateral negotiations, he seems to know that air strikes aren't the easy answer and he's doing a good job of ignoring the saber rattlers at home.

    But, I worry.  As we've seen with Libya, we know that the president can be persuaded, particularly with international support, that something small but dramatic could be done.  Add Israel to the equation, which could go rogue on us, and nothing's for sure.


    by Michael Maiello on Mon, 02/27/2012 - 5:47pm

    Yeah Destor! For sure!

    Just because the right in this country would make the entire world into the Hatfields and McCoys; Obama does not get a free ride.

    But damn; no matter what arguments the fascists come up with; Obama looks like a moderate!

    I don't know the answer to this.

    I must have signed 150 petitions over the last 90 days and a third of them prevailed upon Barry to cool it!

    Sometimes I wish to just forget the entire argument and let everybody kill each other.

    But I am a dem and I do not know what choices are available to the Commander in Chief!

    We make our voices known and that is all we can do!


    by Richard Day on Mon, 02/27/2012 - 6:23pm