William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Democrats learn valuable lesson – vow never to attempt to do anything again

    WASHINGTON – Senate Democrats, chastened by Republican Scott Brown’s Senate victory in Massachusetts, have admitted that they have learned a valuable lesson after seeing their advantage in the senate drop to a paltry 59-41. The lesson? Stop trying to do things.

    “This is a wake-up call,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.). “It’s time to slam on the brakes and stop everything. The people have spoken.”

    Despite spending the better part of 2009 working on Health Care Reform, Senate Democrats now seem disinterested in finishing the job.

    “At this point, given the new senator from Massachusetts’ position, I think that would be tough to do,” said Sen. Debbie Stabenow (D., Mich.). “Without 60 votes – at least – we’re completely at the mercy of the GOP and their 41 Senators.”

    Instead of working to pass health care reform or for environmental legislation - or anything else for that matter – Senate Democrats have decided to take a page from the GOP playbook.

    “We’re just going to filibuster everything,” said Reid. “Now’s the time to campaign, fund raise and filibuster. I believe that’s our mandate.”

    Other Senate Democrats have said that they will stay in Washington to work, but mostly on their memoirs. Some unnamed Democratic Senators have admitted that they plan to “run out the clock” in 2010, spending their time hiding in closets and following the Monty Python-esque world theory of “not being seen.”

    “We’ve learned a valuable lesson from Republicans,” said Stabenow, who is working on her new book “Heroism of Bravery, Change and Action for America.” “Don’t do anything except say no. The problem is, they do nothing way better than we do. So this presents a challenge.

    “But the people have spoken in Massachusetts and that’s enough for us,” said Stabenow, who then fled down a Congressional hallway and into a closet.

    Later in the day, Senate Democrats released a videotape showcasing their new strategy of the importance of not being seen.



    That picture of "Stabenow" hiding in the closet is fucking brilliant.

    Thanks! Google images - learn it, love it ;)

    Brilliant piece all around

    Now I finally understand about Lieberman. He's a larch.

    Great post, Wolfie.

    I'd give it a 7.

    Not saying out of what.

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