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    Obama orders Media away from LeBron James

    By William K. Wolfrum on Tue, 07/06/2010 - 10:49am | Politics, Sports, Humor & Satire, Media

    CLEVELAND – Citing potential “National Security Issues,” President Barack Obama today ordered all media to stay 2,000 feet away from basketball superstar LeBron James, while he makes his decision whom to play for in 2010-11.

    “This decision requires time and peace,” said Obama. “Also, should he choose the Chicago Bulls, he has himself a solid.”

    Nike has long held that James was too important of a mythical figure to be photographed in reality-based imagery.

    “This is perfect,” said a Nike spokesperson, adding that any reporter that defies the new law will be arrested and perhaps beaten within the rules of the Geneva Convention as we now see them. “Now you’ll see LeBron the way we choose for you to see him. Plus, the national security issues.”

    “Where LeBron James plays basketball matters to each and every American and will help reshape the American landscape,” added Obama. “The last thing we need now is a bunch of reporters snooping around trying to understand the process.”

    James could not be reached for comment as he was quite far away.

    –WKW

    Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

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