NEW YORK — There has been a recent discovery that an unidentified person walked into an unidentified establishment between 3 p.m. and 7 p.m. sometime between Tuesday and Thursday this week. The person, reportedly between the age of 23 to 57, was possibly carrying “zero to four" bags, sources were unable to confirm.

The incident was originally reported at the Web site Drudge Report, under the headline “LIBERAL BAG-TOTING ACTIVIST REIGNS TERROR ON AMERICA.”

A nearby passerby said that there seemed to be something in the bags the person was carrying, if the person was, in fact, carrying bags.

“You could tell, something was being hidden in those bags,” said the nearby passerby. “Otherwise, why the bags? I mean, if there were bags?”

“WHY THE BAGS???” reported The Huffington Post in 156-point font size on its front page.

Many of the Internet’s most important bloggers immediately began to comment on the story.

“I think once again, in an age of total war on civilization, people have shown that they will walk anywhere with bags,” wrote Ace at Ace of Spades. “And the terrorist-coddling Left-wing treasonists will just let it happen.”

Later, John Aravosis of AmericaBlog chimed in with his views on a situation that many were describing as a potential, or non-potential incident, situation or action.

“Glenn Beck incites violence every, single day,” wrote Aravosis. “This is further proof that this incitement can only lead to incidents, even if those incidents are just potential, or not.”

Police later admitted that they lost track of the person with the bags, and that the person could be anywhere in the five boroughs, if, in fact, the person existed at all

“Yeah, we don’t know,” said an unidentified officer. “But there were bags. At least someone said there were bags.”

Moments ago, on Fox News, pundit Michelle Malkin said she believed that President Barack Obama was squarely to be blamed.

“There’s this person with bags, while we have a terrorist-loving President who wants to build a Mosque directly on top of the graves of those killed during 9/11,” said Malkin. “If we don’t round-up and put all Enviro-nut-case Muslims into camps – NOW – we’re just going to have more and more of these bag incidents and then be ruled by Sharia Law."

More on this story as it becomes directly and/or indirectly available.

–WKW

Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles